Base Building for Air Force?

[Malruhn]

Last night a bunch of gamer geeks were BSing, and the old "The Air Force is brilliant in how they build their bases - they start with the golf course, then build the amenities - and when they run out of money, they run to congress to say, 'But the base isn't done - we don't have RUNWAYS!!!'"

We all nodded our heads in agreement - to include a former fly-boy in the group.

Then I realized that this bit of unsupported UL sounding poop came from MY mouth!!! EEEEK!

Where did this come from, and is there ANY evidence to support it?

[DesertRat]

No, but it's a pretty good joke, and also a pretty good expression of the Air Force's fiscal policy as a whole.

[CannonFodder]

I don't know where it came from either, but mark me down as another one who's heard this exact same military legend, word for word.

[Singing in the Drizzle]

When was the last air force base built? I'm guessing the 70s. We have been closing them for quite a few years now.

Anyway when I was help documenting how information flowed thru the military. I did see that every thing was planed with a expected amount of cuts to funding from congress and they planed for it.

[zabia]

I go with DesertRat and CannonFodder,

I don't need your reality to ruin a great joke.

(though, I never heard the bit about going back to Congress for more money. It was always...golf course, housing, gym, mess hall, then runways for Air Force.

For Navy, it was planes, runways, CO's housing, XO's housing, gym, ships, mess, housing.)

Sorry, can't remember the jokes for Army, Marines, or Coasties.

[Wolf333]

Well, as Singing In The Drizzle stated, it has been quite a while since we've built a new Air Force base. But we have been renovating...

The first priority is usually the golf course, followed by a "combined" club (attendence was too low at both the enlisted and officer's clubs, so why not combine them?), bowling alley, family housing, BX (making it more attractive, and yet worse), Shoppette (same as the BX), maintenance facilities (with little account for actual maintenance... but they do look nice) and then barracks (or dorms, as we call them in the AF).

[Malruhn]

How do Coast Guard bases get built?!?!

"Hey, Navy... are you done with that? Thanks."

The Army would have been, "gunnery/live-fire ranges, dry-fire/MILES ranges, qualification ranges, maneuver areas, drop/landing zones, Post Commander's housing and his main offices, staff offices, exchange, housing, golf c---- nevermind, the Air Force Base is close - just go use theirs."

[RichardM]

As a designer of things for military bases (airfield lights for NASK, enlisted mess for CAFB, housing for Fort Hood, AAFES facilities all over) I have no idea how the military sets it's priorities. But it never seems logical.

[Malruhn]

Oh, man, PLEASE tell me that this is just a joke!!

[BrianB]

Well, prior to 1970 the airport in my town used to be Oxnard Air Force Base. As far I know, it never had a golf course. Click here for an aerial photo taken in 1963 and click here for a recent aerial photo.
Brian

Back in the 70's I was stationed at Ft. Rucker, AL as a bomb technician. In our Area of Operations was Maxwell, AFB in Montgomery, AL. Maxwell was given Congressional money in the 70's intended to upgrade their base. They did exactly what was mentioned earlier. They built a new Golf Course (for all the Watergate felons who were doing time in the Federal Prison on Maxwell), a new Officer's Club and a new NCO Club. Next was 2 new high rise dorms for the single enlisted soldiers. In 1977 they went back to Congress and asked for more money to build better runways.

[Malruhn]

Welcome aboard, Bombfixer! I'm due to be transfered to Gunter Annes in a couple months!

Man, this is too easy, though! Someone PLEASE start debunking this!!

[dave748]

All this reminds me of the ADF and the stars
The RAN navigate by them, the army sleep under them, and the RAAF judge their hotels by them.

[eif]

That reminded me of this one:

Secretary of Defense called together a panel of four eager O-3's from the Navy, Army, Marine Corps, and Air Force. He asks each of them to jot down the necessary steps to accomplish a simple mission.
On the board he writes four words: Mission - Secure the Building.

Eager to demonstrate their budding leadership, the young officers hurriedly compose a list of necessary steps to fulfill the SECDEF's assignment.

The Navy Lieutenant carefully writes in his green note book.
Instruct the Master Chief to have men:
a) Unplug the coffeepots.
b) Turn off all computers.
c) Empty trash.
d) Turn off all lights.
e) Lock all doors on the way out.


The Army Captain prints in his cammy clad day timer.
1. Assemble the company.
2. Appoint guard mount and Sergeant of the Guard.
3. Take control of all exits.
4. Make sure no one gets into the building without a proper identification.


The Marine Corps Captain writes on palm of her hand.
q Assemble platoon and supplies.
q Approach building along three axes.
q Bring building under mortar / SAW fire.
q Assault building under covering fire.
q Sequester surviving prisoners.
a Establish lanes of fire.
a Prepare artillery calls.
a Repel counterattacks.

The Air Force Captain jots on his PDA.
1. Contact real estate agent.
2. Negotiate best one year lease.
3. Suggest option to buy.

Actually the AF has "opened" more bases than it has closed lately. Buckley, Shriever and Creech are the latest examples. While all existed previously, as old Army posts or opened/closed AF staitions - they're each being upgraded from AF station (no housing, support etc) to full up AF bases, which means they get all the operating support. Buckley is probably the best example since it has gone from 5 satelite dishes to a big base with housing, BX, commisarry, etc - and yes a runway. Go to LA-AFB for a true base w/ no runway

One of the things to remember is that things like golf courses are paid for out of a different pot of money (non appropriated funds) than runways and operatinal buildings (appropriated and usually "fenced")... Congress controls appropriated $ and the AF gets a certain portion every year along with other services. Expenditures on weapon systems (planes and ammo) do not really have a direct correlation to MilCon $$

War 'still good jokes' lok