Girl beats up boy who turned down sex with her?

[neoYTPism]

This video is presented as an "anti violence commercial," (if that is meant in a literal sense, then this suggests either that it was staged or that real footage was used for a PSA, and the latter would be a bit unusual) and it seems sort of odd that there would be cameras in a washroom.

However, I still find it plausible that this is legit. The reasoning used for why girls wouldn't sexually abuse boys, as I've seen in other webforums, is typically of the form "if he is weak enough to be overpowered by her, she would not be interested in him anyway," which apart from ignoring that sexual abuse can be committed without physical strength, also ignores the variance in what people are attracted to. A girl being interested in a weak-looking boy may not be the norm, but it's not impossible.

Anyway, can anyone confirm the origins of this video one way or another, preferably including whether or not it was staged, etc...? I was considering using this in other contexts as evidence that female sexual abuse of males does happen, but I would hate to damage that cause's credibility with faulty examples.

[Mrosie]

The video depicted is part of an anti-dating violence short film series. The series can be viewed on this site: familievold

[Ryda Wong, EBfCo.]

Originally Posted by neoYTPism

Anyway, can anyone confirm the origins of this video one way or another, preferably including whether or not it was staged, etc...? I was considering using this in other contexts as evidence that female sexual abuse of males does happen, but I would hate to damage that cause's credibility with faulty examples.

You may wish to find actual narratives from males who have been sexually abused by females. I have NO doubt there are narratives of that type on the net.


Good luck. And you are right, it IS an important thing to recognize, especially since our particular brand of sexism tends to declare it as impossible.

[A Turtle Named Mack]

And as for women only being able to physically abuse physically weaker males, an awful lot - perhaps most - men are trained that they should never raise a hand against a female, even when she is striking him. At most, fending off is allowed. And of course, the attitude expressed in the OP, that only a weak male could be abused by a woman, keeps many men from either reporting abuse or defending themselves - after all, no one would believe it, would they?

[Singing in the Drizzle]

Abuse of males by females of any type is hard to find. I have spent many hours try to find a reliable study to on this subject to post as a site for something on this board. There is some information, but very few if any studies on any type of female abuse of males.

I'm with ATNM about males not wanting to defend themselves from a female attack. Even if they do, they are quite often blamed and punished for hitting the woman. This may be because the male tends to leave more evidence of damage than the female does to the male. Plus people tend to believe the female unless there is overwhelming evidence when it come to abuse.

[Ellestar]

Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle

Plus people tend to believe the female unless there is overwhelming evidence when it come to abuse.

Cite, please.

[Dropbear]

Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle

I'm with ATNM about males not wanting to defend themselves from a female attack.

I get concerned about this theory because I suspect it to be reductionist - as if the victim of the violence is making some specific choice to manfully refrain because they are have been taught they mustn't. This supports a perspective that violence only occurs from physically stronger to physically weaker unless the stronger person 'lets' it happen - it ultimately endorses a survival of the fittest analysis.

While strength is certainly a determinant I think there there are a number of significant other factors - general willingness to use violence for one, the relative readiness to accept or risk injuries to self, the confidence to use themselves physically, the knowledge how to use physical force, the personal value set about the use of violence, the element of surprise.

Dropbear

[fitz1980]

Originally Posted by Dropbear

I get concerned about this theory because I suspect it to be reductionist - as if the victim of the violence is making some specific choice to manfully refrain because they are have been taught they mustn't. This supports a perspective that violence only occurs from physically stronger to physically weaker unless the stronger person 'lets' it happen - it ultimately endorses a survival of the fittest analysis.

I don't know about that one. It's more the fact that more than a few guys have ended up in positions where they are in the unenviable position of ending up looking like a wimp or a wife beater.

Years ago I knew a girl who's husband called the cops on her because she assaulted him. A mutual friend (who was good friends with the wife) tells me the story as "what kind of a [slang term for vagina] would call the cops on her when she's 5'1" and he's 6'2"." I told my friend that if I were in husband's position I'd probably do the same. If he had defended himself physically he probably could have overpowered her but than would be left trying to explain to the police how he was defending himself and it wasn't the other way around.

It's a really weird dichotomy where it's basically "real men never hit a female" but at the same time it's "a real man could easily defend himself if a woman physically attacked him."

[Singing in the Drizzle]

Originally Posted by Ellestar

Cite, please.

Sorry, I will not be spending many hours looking up something there is very little information on, because almost no one studies female abuse of males. That alone should tell you there is a large bias against men.

From personal experience I can say the two time I defend myself from females attacking me in school while defending myself. Both time I was punished for hitting girls even with clear evidence that it was self defense, while she got nothing more than a warning. I can also add a couple more stories of good friends dealing with abusive women and what they had to go though to prove their innocence while the woman did not have to prove anything. It does make one think twice before laying hands on a woman for any reason.

[Ellestar]

Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle

Sorry, I will not be spending many hours looking up something there is very little information on, because almost no one studies female abuse of males. That alone should tell you there is a large bias against men.

As a researcher who has looked extensively into people's reactions to disclosures of violence (specifically, I've looked into people's reactions to women who disclose they've been sexually assaulted in the past), I was interested to learn. I was especially interested because, in my research, people are also very likely to not believe women who disclose assault.

However, you stated something as a fact that is based on your own personal experiences. While I don't doubt your experiences, I don't believe that they are representative of people's experiences of being believed about assault as a whole.

[Singing in the Drizzle]

I have spent may hours trying to find studies on various things dealing with female abuse of males. Most of what little out there is anecdotal at best.

Though what little is out there does suggest the females are not very innocent when it comes to abusing males. I will admit this from is anecdotal and bias (in favor of the male) sources. Nothing I will trust as a cite.

If however you are looking for anything dealing with male abuse of females. There is more infomation than anyone knows what to do with.

[Troberg]

The text at the end says (and I'm not a native in Danish or Norwegian, and it's one of them, but I understand it fairly well):

"See guys get the wildest beatings from women on The bitch hits back".

To me, that implies that it's some kind of fetish site.

[DevilBunny]

I'm sorry; the evidence you've found on females abusing males suggests that females are 'not very innocent' when it comes to abusing males?

Um, well, yes. It would. I'm not sure what point you're trying to make here.

[Blatherskite]

Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle

I have spent may hours trying to find studies on various things dealing with female abuse of males. Most of what little out there is anecdotal at best.

It's likely that men are less likely to report abuse by women. Without nearly as much data to use for studies on the subject, you shouldn't really be surprised that there are fewer studies than there are for male-on-female abuse. That leaves anecdotal evidence.

I'm sorry if I'm misreading you, but it seems almost as if you suspect some kind of cover-up of male domestic abuse. While I don't doubt that 'the system' frequently fails men who are abused by women, I doubt very much that the lack of information is caused by too many people writing studies on abuse of women.

[TwoGuyswithaHat]

Originally Posted by Troberg

To me, that implies that it's some kind of fetish site.

I visited the site via Google Translate, and there are three videos hosted by YouTube. You can "rate" the movies and such.

After a minute or two, a warning pops up and I think says "I'm busted" and then I'm transferred to another site that says (again via Google Translate)

Sorry, but dating violence is not entertainment. It is deadly serious matter who beats who. So if you suspect that someone
in your family or circle of being exposed to dating violence
do not just watch passively but respond immediately.
In the letter-box on this page you can ask questions completely
anonymously and receive advice and assistance of people with
long experience in advising on violence.
The five films that are on this page is
examples of the extreme-girlfriend
violence is going on at home, at parties
or on the street - right around you
and perhaps among some
you know.

EDIT: A ha! The site belongs to an NGO called The Non-Governmental Organization for Children Exposed to Domestic Violence. The purpose of the campaign:

Our campaign, "The Bitch Hits Back" is a call to action to all who are passive witnesses to violence. The goal of this campaign is to bring awareness and a voice to the taboo subject of domestic violence. Violence is unacceptable and everyone has a responsibility to help. It is illegal to commit acts of violence in Denmark, yet on average, there are two students per class who experience abuse in their home or in their personal relationships. Speaking about violence between boyfriends and girlfriends is also taboo in Denmark. Our goal is to break the silence about violence, encourage our young people to speak about it and get the help they need.

[A Turtle Named Mack]

Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle

I have spent may hours trying to find studies on various things dealing with female abuse of males. Most of what little out there is anecdotal at best.

Below is a blog by a psychiatrist on the subject of domestic violence which addresses the relative rates of violence by sex. It provides a number of helpful links as well.

http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2007/08/...d-to-more.html

[Sister Ray]

Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle

Abuse of males by females of any type is hard to find. I have spent many hours try to find a reliable study to on this subject to post as a site for something on this board.

Here you go.

Sister "the more you know" Ray

[Mrosie]

Originally Posted by TwoGuyswithaHat

EDIT: A ha! The site belongs to an NGO called The Non-Governmental Organization for Children Exposed to Domestic Violence. The purpose of the campaign:

Check post #2, there's a direct link to the campaign's website.

[Singing in the Drizzle]

Thanks Sister Ray, that will be very helpful and when I get time to read all that information. Though useful almost everything is about female sexual abusers not females physically abusing males.

ATNM, thanks for the help as well even though all the links in the article were dead.

[geminilee]

I followed a link to Jezebel from ATNM's page, and found this:

Another editor slapped a guy when "he told me he thought he had breast cancer." (Okay, that one made us laugh really hard.)

WTF? How is this even remotely funny? What is the funny aspect? He is scared for his health and life, and she slaps him?