Wife put excrement in man's curry

[Billy Beccles]

Wife put excrement in man's curry

And since the BBC has a poor sense of climax, the story continues:

A disgruntled wife has admitted feeding her husband a curry containing dog excrement after their relationship broke down.

Jill Martin, 47, pleaded guilty at Paisley Sheriff Court to culpable and reckless conduct against former husband Donald Martin.

I don't believe she was disgruntled; I think that after watching him eat she would have been very, very gruntled. You could probably hear her gruntling three streets away.

Anyway it's all a lot healthier than deep-fried Mars bars and represents an exciting new development in Scottish culinary art.

[Eddylizard]

So unoriginal.

Wife Serves Husband Dog Poo Pie

[Tarquin Farquart]

I'm waiting for the woman bold enough to serve a meal with 2 little turds on the side and claim they are a garnish.

[Ryda Wong, EBfCo.]

Originally Posted by mixedgirl

where are all the men serving their women dog poop?

What?


Well, considering that serving and cooking is still, traditonally, seen as a woman's job, I'm not surprised at the lack. Sides, when they get disgruntled, they tend to just stab their girlfriends over the wrong salad dressing.

I guess that puts this thread in context.

[Eddylizard]

I can take perfectly good food and with a little lack of care and inattention turn it into something that resembles, smells and tastes like dog poo. Does that count?

I don't put dressing on my salads though.

[Ryda Wong, EBfCo.]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

I can take perfectly good food and with a little lack of care and inattention turn it into something that resembles, smells and tastes like dog poo. Does that count?

See, this is why a love affair between us could never work. To be my man, you must have kitchen skills.

The other day, I managed to mess up boiling the potatoes for potatoe salad. I forgot about them and they, literally, boiled into a mush. :o

Made tasty mashed potatoes, but I don't think SO's going to ever let me live that down.

Originally Posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo.

The other day, I managed to mess up boiling the potatoes

I make the mashed potatoes around our house. My wife's have a tendency to be....well not very mashed potato-like (more like potato soup).

[Eddylizard]

Doug, have you let your wife into the secret that you're supposed to drain the potatoes before mashing them?

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

Doug, have you let your wife into the secret that you're supposed to drain the potatoes before mashing them?

It goes beyond that.

We divide up the cooking along sexist lines: I do bread, she does tortillas, I do Italian food, she does Mexican food, she does beans, I do potatoes, that sort of thing.

In my house, the bf cooks breakfast because he makes eggs better than I do, and I cook the dinners.

[Troodon]

I fear that after several more years of having to feed myself, my response to being offered contaminated food cooked by someone else would be "So, just how much poop is in this?"

[Eddylizard]

Originally Posted by Troodon

"So, just how much poop is in this?"

"I made it myself."

Finest homegrown ingredients.

Excrement curry wife admonished

A woman has been admonished after she admitted feeding her estranged husband a curry containing dog excrement.

Jill Martin, 47, pleaded guilty at Paisley Sheriff Court to culpable and reckless conduct against her husband Donald Martin in Newton Mearns.

Sheriff Susan Sinclair said her behaviour could have resulted in "extremely unpleasant consequences".

[Eddylizard]

Admonish is presumably the Scottish legal term for "The sheriff was laughing so hard, she couldn't even begin to think about imposing a fine or custodual sentence."

It was now accepted, he said, that the relationship had broken down

That's quite a reasonable conclusion to draw I would think.

[inkrose115]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

I can take perfectly good food and with a little lack of care and inattention turn it into something that resembles, smells and tastes like dog poo. Does that count?

Grand! From now on you can cook food for my neighbors doggies!

I make the mashed potatoes around our house. My wife's have a tendency to be....well not very mashed potato-like (more like potato soup).

Mmmm, soup. Hey, you can send that right over too. I'll pay the shipping costs!

Okay... So my current order is for one pot of tater soup and a two pound bag of dog-poo like food. Do you use paypal?

Maybe she was trying to get him high?

[Eddylizard]

Originally Posted by inkrose115

Grand! From now on you can cook food for my neighbors doggies!


Mmmm, soup. Hey, you can send that right over too. I'll pay the shipping costs!

Okay... So my current order is for one pot of tater soup and a two pound bag of dog-poo like food. Do you use paypal?

I'm not bad enough that you want me to add animal cruelty to my rap sheet? Sorry but out of principal I only poison myself, DS and the occasional visitor.

As a sidenote, there was a company here a few years ago that offered to send a gift wrapped box of simulated dog poo on your behalf (anonymously if you wished) to someone you didn't like. I have no idea if they were on the level, or how realistic their claim of "looks, feels and smells like the real thing" were.

Sadly I didn't have the home address of the only person I have ever felt deserved this.

[inkrose115]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

I'm not bad enough that you want me to add animal cruelty to my rap sheet? Sorry but out of principal I only poison myself, DS and the occasional visitor.

Animal cruelty? Nonono! Of course not. I'm sure the doggies next store would love your fine cuisine. In the least it would get them to stop eating their own poo, which is quite nasty.

that's just wrong. anybody ever hear about that cook at taco bell that took a shat in the beans after getting fired?? pleas let me know???