Things you shouldn't have to tell your pet

[Victoria J]

There isn't a thread for "Little things that make your blood run cold", and this is as near as I'll get to "Things you shouldn't have to ask your pet" so I'm putting this here. (ETA - this made slightly more sense before this was split to become a new thread).

Pan (Panda Kitty) - Why did you come up to me yesterday, look up at me, and make a Hannibal Lecter noise ?

You have never done this before. I know you're up to something, and I'm scared.

Victoria J
(Considering investing in a hockey mask)

[Barbara]

If Pan is a male kitty, follow him to the litter box when he heads there and make sure he's not having trouble urinating. And if he is, get him to the vet fast.

[Victoria J]

Pan is female.

She's drinking OK, and going to the box regularly (though I can't tell if she is using it really as we have non-clumping litter). She hasn't done it again, and seems otherwise in good health, after one off-colour day last week. Her behaviour hasn't otherwise changed (though she's still just getting over the major disruption of having the landlord and plumbers in, and getting shut up for the day).

You've worried me. I think she was just being odd.

Victoria J

[Ellestar]

Victoria J, maybe there was a goat.

[Kitsune27]

Gingham, I am perfectly capable of cleaning/grooming myself. I don't need you to lick my hair just after I wash it, because it then smells like cat breath and sticks up funny.

[mags]

Ollie, if Tickles is making those noises that sound like she is threatening to release the hounds of hell on something outside, do not approach her! You know that once she is amped up like that, she will believe anything of a similar size is the thing she has freaked out over, somehow broken into the house. This has resulted in your getting attacked before, and whole nights of moaning and screeching every time you approached her, when the thing outside was a racoon. It's not great that this is how she acts, but it is imminently predictable. Those noises definitely do not mean "oh, hey, I really wish Ollie could see this cat out here."

Hopefully the antibiotic injection today will help, and your ear won't scar permanently into its current bent position. But, I bet you'll go right up to her again next time, won't you?

At least you don't have to tell us again, to pick you up next time we hear her.

[kit_n_caboodle]

When playing fetch, you have to bring the toy much closer to me so I can throw it again. Dropping it several feet away means you have to wait until I have time to get up and get it.

Cats are terrible at playing fetch.

[Victoria J]

Originally Posted by Ellestar

Victoria J, maybe there was a goat.

That's wonderful. Though in the case of Pan-kitty and I the goat would have to be either on our roof or going past on a double decker bus.

I wonder if that persons cat was doing the weird chattering thing they do. I associate it with them seeing birds out the window and they do the chatter which I always thought was a request for you to go out and catch them a bird (or goat).

Victoria J

[DawnStorm]

Bruce if you decide that you do not want the deer antler and drop it, then Flanders will pick it up and start chewing on it! Standing over her with that goofy look on your face will not get you anywhere either. You'll just have to wait until she decides she doesn't want it anymore.

[TallGeekyGirl]

Dear Ash, my sweet kitty...

Don't lick the floor of the side porch. I don't know what it is that you're liking up, and that worries me. You want to go out there so much, but I don't feel comfortable letting you out there because I know you're just going to lick the concrete and drool. You hated your last emergency vet visit, and by licking up the who-knows-what on the side porch, you might well get yourself another one!

Sincerely,
Your human servant, who cares for your health even if you get mad at her for not letting you lick that yummy mystery substance that has you so enthalled

[Hans Off]

Amber, If you feel the need to do the worlds smelliest doodle in our One-Bedroomed flat*... Please do not choose the 10 minute period before I serve dinner as it deflates our appetites somewhat.

Sincerely, your loving but now not very hungry Owners.

(*as you are famous for doing "impressions" such as Labrador, Fox, Lion and Pound of Sausages)

[thorny locust]

Victoria J, I have had several cats who make/made that chattering sound; and all of them only make/made it at birds.

Has anyone ever heard a cat "chatter" at any nonavian species?

[Chloe]

I have heard a cat chatter at squirrels. I always assumed it meant "I want to eat you!"

(Hope you sleep with one eye open, Victoria!)

[Arriah]

Calvin, i appreciate your concern for my safety but i promise you that i am in no danger fromvyour reflection.

[Lainie]

A friend's mother's comment on cats chattering was, "If you looked out the window and saw pizzas flying around, you'd make funny noises, too."

Originally Posted by Hans Off

Amber, If you feel the need to do the worlds smelliest doodle in our One-Bedroomed flat*... Please do not choose the 10 minute period before I serve dinner as it deflates our appetites somewhat.

Hammy made one of those the other night seconds before I walked into my bedroom to get ready for bed. The litterbox is in the very tiny adjacent bathroom.

[Buckle Up]

Dearest Pebbles,

See those sharp claws on the ends of your paws?

Other cats have them too.

Please don't fight with your temporary roommates.

In five short days, we'll be moving and you will once again, finally, be the only non-human animal in the house again. Please hold it together until then.

Love,

Your DHB

[Horse Chestnut]

Originally Posted by kit_n_caboodle

When playing fetch, you have to bring the toy much closer to me so I can throw it again. Dropping it several feet away means you have to wait until I have time to get up and get it.

Cats are terrible at playing fetch.

Spanky the Wonder Cat was amazing at playing fetch. She always dropped the toy right in your lap. She would even find new things that she thought were cool, like a spool or a tape measure, and bring them to me to play with.

Of course, if all cats did that, I would have called her Spanky the Pretty Much Like Every Other Cat Cat

[Sue Bee]

Dearest large, 8 year old labrador Blue dog,

DO NOT JUMP OFF OF THE UPPER DECK, YOU MORON, YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME.

He is OK, remarkably, doesn't seem to even be sore, the vet thinks because he is in such good shape. The kid was on the deck, and he threw the ball, just like he has done hundreds of times, and every other time, the dogs run down the stairs and retrieve the ball. This time, for some reason, he just leapt over the rail, and down about 20 feet.



The upper portion of the above is where he jumped off of.

[Lainie]

Silly goggy! What a nice yard you have.

Originally Posted by Horse Chestnut

Spanky the Wonder Cat was amazing at playing fetch. She always dropped the toy right in your lap. She would even find new things that she thought were cool, like a spool or a tape measure, and bring them to me to play with.

Of course, if all cats did that, I would have called her Spanky the Pretty Much Like Every Other Cat Cat

I had a cat that played fetch, but only with paper wads. And she didn't drop them in our laps.

[Sue Bee]

2 days after the flying dog incident, and dog is fine, wanting to run around and jump and play ball. My poor son has finally recovered from the shock of flying dog, but when it happened, he was really shaken.

All of this from a water dog who wont jump off of the pier into the water, but who jumps 20' off a deck onto the ground. He must really have wanted that damn ball.