snopes.com  

Go Back   snopes.com > Urban Legends > Glurge Gallery

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 18 April 2007, 05:35 PM
Buckle Up's Avatar
Buckle Up Buckle Up is offline
 
Join Date: 23 October 2006
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 6,164
Icon215 The Seed

Quote:
A very successful Christian business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you."

The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued, "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today -- one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and, excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil. He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened.

Jim felt sick at his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed. A few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young
executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front.

Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!" When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed. Jim told him the story. The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive! His name is Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO, the others said. Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it and bring it back to me today. "But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead -- it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. "When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you.
Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.

If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.

If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.

If you plant hard work, you will reap success.

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

If you plant faith in Christ, you will reap a harvest.

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

Two thousand years ago, Paul wrote to the church at Galatia the same story but with fewer words, "What you sow, so shall you reap." (Gal. 6:7)

We are grass that will wither and die, but the incorruptible seed of God's Word will live forever. Sow it daily into the life of your family! (1 Peter 1:23-25)
Here's another shortened version: If you're given something worthless, you'll come up with nothing.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 18 April 2007, 05:39 PM
Artemis's Avatar
Artemis Artemis is offline
 
Join Date: 08 October 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 6,892
Default

Originally heard this as a Chinese folk story. Here it is.

I always wondered why it was that only one person was honest. You'd think that out of all those people, there'd be at least ten or twenty other honest folk.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 19 April 2007, 10:31 AM
Dactyl's Avatar
Dactyl Dactyl is offline
 
Join Date: 02 December 2005
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 4,411
Default

Just as you don't think glurge can get any worse.

Who the hell can't tell a seed from a boiled sweet?
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 19 April 2007, 10:33 AM
Eddylizard's Avatar
Eddylizard Eddylizard is offline
 
Join Date: 15 June 2006
Location: Tonbridge, Kent, UK
Posts: 17,861
Default

They weren't boiled sweets, they were seeds that had been boiled to prevent them from germinating.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 19 April 2007, 03:15 PM
DawnStorm's Avatar
DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
Join Date: 11 March 2003
Location: Montgomery County, MD
Posts: 12,659
Blow Your Top

Well no wonder the seed wouldn't grow! He overwatered it!


Dawn--kill it before it grows--Storm
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 19 April 2007, 04:01 PM
SatansHobbit's Avatar
SatansHobbit SatansHobbit is offline
 
Join Date: 31 May 2006
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 3,536
Default

"Too easy," cackled the CEO as he boarded the plane for Bermuda. They'd all brought back fully matured female sinsimella plants, and he'd sold the lot, even before he'd dried it. They were all suckers.

"All except that A-hole, Jim," thought CEO, "But he's gonna get a surprise when I get the cops to bust him for that ounce I left in the bottom drawer of the Chief Executive's desk"
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 19 April 2007, 04:37 PM
dantonini
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it.
Anyone else read this and have some disturbing imagery pop into your head?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 19 April 2007, 04:52 PM
Spamamander's Avatar
Spamamander Spamamander is offline
 
Join Date: 01 January 2006
Location: Central WA
Posts: 4,383
Default

Ummmm no, I had a disturbing thought of magazines and sample cups...
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 19 April 2007, 05:09 PM
SatansHobbit's Avatar
SatansHobbit SatansHobbit is offline
 
Join Date: 31 May 2006
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 3,536
Default

Quote:
a pot with my seed in it.
Lol, I thought of Spanky when dantonini posted that.

Tomorrow, my post V sample is due.

MrsHobbit (looking at my photo challenges): 'Isn't that supposed to be sterile?"

Me: 'No, I am."


She's actually worried that because it has to handed in within an hour of ...er...production, if I work late I'm going to whip one off the wrist on the way to the clinic. I reckon when get a red traffic light on the way it'd save time. Dreading all the cars honking behind me though if I can't get in the mood, however.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 19 April 2007, 05:18 PM
Eddylizard's Avatar
Eddylizard Eddylizard is offline
 
Join Date: 15 June 2006
Location: Tonbridge, Kent, UK
Posts: 17,861
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SatansHobbit View Post
Lol, I thought of Spanky when dantonini posted that.

Tomorrow, my post V sample is due.

MrsHobbit (looking at my photo challenges): 'Isn't that supposed to be sterile?"

Me: 'No, I am."


She's actually worried that because it has to handed in within an hour of ...er...production, if I work late I'm going to whip one off the wrist on the way to the clinic. I reckon when get a red traffic light on the way it'd save time. Dreading all the cars honking behind me though if I can't get in the mood, however.
Strange (I assume you are talking about a vasectomy - if not ignore me) but when I had one done, they gave me a couple of unlubricated condoms, into which I could produce a sample by any means of my choosing, couple of sample jars to pour the contents into (no mean feat) and a couple of pre-addressed padded envelopes to post the jars back in. Also there was no 'day x' as such, the only stipulation was that the second sample had to be produced two weeks after the first.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 19 April 2007, 06:47 PM
chillas's Avatar
chillas chillas is offline
 
Join Date: 09 September 2002
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 11,238
Default

Offiers are usually elected by the board of directors, not annointed by their predecessors.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 19 April 2007, 07:53 PM
dantonini
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spamamander View Post
Ummmm no, I had a disturbing thought of magazines and sample cups...
Well Jim is bringing my "seed" back to me so I guess this would be a "withdrawl" and not a "deposit"

It is so going in my sig line. I can't stop giggling about this. It's like I'm nine years old and I just heard a naughty word for the first time.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 20 April 2007, 06:54 AM
SatansHobbit's Avatar
SatansHobbit SatansHobbit is offline
 
Join Date: 31 May 2006
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 3,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eddylizard View Post
Strange (I assume you are talking about a vasectomy - if not ignore me) but when I had one done, they gave me a couple of unlubricated condoms, into which I could produce a sample by any means of my choosing, couple of sample jars to pour the contents into (no mean feat) and a couple of pre-addressed padded envelopes to post the jars back in. Also there was no 'day x' as such, the only stipulation was that the second sample had to be produced two weeks after the first.
Yep, it's a post vasectomy sample and my rules are pretty visible here.You had it good.

They seem designed to cause maximum embarrassment for the poor guy who drops it off. I've got off work early enough, but we've got workmen painting the bedrooms, six kids hanging around and MrsHobbit has got a friend over. No way can I slip off to the toilet with a Playboy to do the business uninterupted.

She laughing her head off at my discomfiture but she could at least help. Just for that, I'm not going to think of her when finally get a chance to do the deed.

P.S. If it's not negative, I have to do it again in FOUR FRICKIN' WEEKS! I'll have gone blind by then.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 20 April 2007, 08:20 AM
Eddylizard's Avatar
Eddylizard Eddylizard is offline
 
Join Date: 15 June 2006
Location: Tonbridge, Kent, UK
Posts: 17,861
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SatansHobbit View Post
Yep, it's a post vasectomy sample and my rules are pretty visible here.You had it good.

They seem designed to cause maximum embarrassment for the poor guy who drops it off. I've got off work early enough, but we've got workmen painting the bedrooms, six kids hanging around and MrsHobbit has got a friend over. No way can I slip off to the toilet with a Playboy to do the business uninterupted.

She laughing her head off at my discomfiture but she could at least help. Just for that, I'm not going to think of her when finally get a chance to do the deed.

P.S. If it's not negative, I have to do it again in FOUR FRICKIN' WEEKS! I'll have gone blind by then.
At least you got a reasonably wide mouthed jar. I got one of these:

Which I was also told I could fill directly if I so chose. Ha bloody ha it's a penis, not a sniper rifle.

The 3-5 day rule I wouldn't have been keen on, I was told to ejaculate several times before the sample was taken to flush the tubes as it were.

Maybe they're just having a laugh. I mean how glamourous a job is it?

"So what do you do for a living?"
"I work in the medical field"
"Wow, sounds interesting, what exactly do you do?"
"I peer at splooge through a microscope all day."
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 20 April 2007, 12:17 PM
Dactyl's Avatar
Dactyl Dactyl is offline
 
Join Date: 02 December 2005
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 4,411
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eddylizard View Post
They weren't boiled sweets, they were seeds that had been boiled to prevent them from germinating.
Note to self: Must read properly before posting.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 23 April 2007, 04:09 PM
DawnStorm's Avatar
DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
Join Date: 11 March 2003
Location: Montgomery County, MD
Posts: 12,659
Throw Tomato

Quote:
Originally Posted by SatansHobbit View Post

She's actually worried that because it has to handed in within an hour of ...er...production, if I work late I'm going to whip one off the wrist on the way to the clinic. I reckon when get a red traffic light on the way it'd save time. Dreading all the cars honking behind me though if I can't get in the mood, however.

NFBSKing on demand like a stud animal; yeah that's fun. (NOT!!!)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:57 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.