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  #1  
Old 16 April 2007, 03:22 AM
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Icon97 Baby chokes on ejaculation

Comment: I am a psychologist. I was doubly horrified to hear from a client
that a "moral education" teacher at her child's high school related a
story about a man who was showering with his baby when the phone rang.
When he sat down to talk, the baby started nursing his penis. When he
ejaculated, the baby choked to death.

This -sounds- like an urban myth and I sincerely hope that you can confirm
that it is.
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  #2  
Old 16 April 2007, 03:31 AM
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Comment: I am a psychologist. I was doubly horrified to hear from a client
that a "moral education" teacher at her child's high school related a
story about a man who was showering with his baby when the phone rang.
When he sat down to talk, the baby started nursing his penis. When he
ejaculated, the baby choked to death.


Let's see..

this guy was
1) alone with his child (an infant if it was young enough to nurse)
2) busy in the shower with this infant, yet stopped to answer a phone call (presumably in the bathroom)
3) he sat down and the infant was positioned in such a way that it could "nurse" on his penis
4) He didn't stop or prevent this in any manner
5) He came while ON THE PHONE?

this doesn't stuke you as an extremely unlikely situaton?
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  #3  
Old 16 April 2007, 04:08 AM
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Yow!

To say nothing about the fact that it was discussed in vivid detail at the high school level? Exactly what message were they trying to teach?

I would personally buy showering with a young infant, but - like Not_Done_Living pointed out - not the rest of this story. I also count it as urban legend.
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  #4  
Old 16 April 2007, 04:19 AM
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Excuse my ignorance, but how does one shower with an infant? You can't really leave a baby to crawl around on the shower floor while the water is running (I assume), and having to hold it in your arms the whole time sounds like a rather severe encumbrance to the process of taking a shower.

- snopes
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  #5  
Old 16 April 2007, 04:29 AM
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Glasses

Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
Excuse my ignorance, but how does one shower with an infant? You can't really leave a baby to crawl around on the shower floor while the water is running (I assume), and having to hold it in your arms the whole time sounds like a rather severe encumbrance to the process of taking a shower.

- snopes
Actually, it's easier than people think. That is how I did with all 3 of my kids. I held them and bathed them (a thin kitchen towel works great for holding the slippery little tyke) then Hubby would take them. While he was drying and dressing them, I would finish my shower. The babies loved it and it made it much easier when trying to rinse them.

Last edited by tribrats; 16 April 2007 at 04:30 AM. Reason: lost part of a sentence somewhere.
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  #6  
Old 16 April 2007, 05:12 AM
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Yep. Showered with both mine. Mostly it was for the baby - not even necessarily to clean them. They both found it very soothing (as long as I was careful and they didn't get a face full of water - that just made them MAD). Normal was to hold them to the chest.

me
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  #7  
Old 16 April 2007, 05:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tribrats View Post
Actually, it's easier than people think. That is how I did with all 3 of my kids. I held them and bathed them (a thin kitchen towel works great for holding the slippery little tyke) then Hubby would take them. While he was drying and dressing them, I would finish my shower. The babies loved it and it made it much easier when trying to rinse them.
That sounds efficient, but I presume the OP's description of a man's leaving his shower to answer the phone means his wife/SO was not present in the house to help with the baby (because otherwise she could have answered the phone).

- snopes
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  #8  
Old 16 April 2007, 05:17 AM
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It would be hard to shower with a baby as described in the OP. I devised a method I've related several times before, but it worked really well. I put a sterilite tub in the bathtub and put the baby in that. They had like, a mini-bath while I took a shower. I didn't have to worry about them being not in the shower and they had fun. It made getting dressed really easy.
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  #9  
Old 16 April 2007, 06:06 AM
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I'm just happy that this is a rumor and not a news article, as I thought it would be before I clicked it.
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  #10  
Old 16 April 2007, 01:24 PM
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Well, that's certainly one of the more disgusting UL's or whatever I've seen in a long time.

I know wretched things like this happen IRL, but I'm wondering...assuming for the moment that something like this actually happened, what's the point of him being on the phone? Like, what, he was distracted and didn't notice what the baby was doing? Unless he has, like in the song, a detachable penis and left it in the shower with the baby, what this sounds like is a really crappy excuse for a pedophile. "Honestly, I didn't notice what was happening! And I was insane at the time! And you can't prove it!"

Right. The baby basically raped itself and committed suicide. Yeesh. I need some Brillo for my brainpan.

AliBaba
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  #11  
Old 16 April 2007, 04:54 PM
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The average volume of a single ejaculation is less than a teaspoon. I know that a baby can choke on small amounts of liquid pretty easily, but since the average amount of formula or milk that a baby ingests in a single feeding is much more than a teaspoon, how likely would it be that said baby could choke on ejaculate?

Also, could an infant really open its mouth wide enough to take in the whole tip of an adult penis? If not, could a man cum easily when only the tip the size of a mom's nipple is stimulated?
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  #12  
Old 16 April 2007, 05:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grand Illusion View Post
The average volume of a single ejaculation is less than a teaspoon. I know that a baby can choke on small amounts of liquid pretty easily, but since the average amount of formula or milk that a baby ingests in a single feeding is much more than a teaspoon, how likely would it be that said baby could choke on ejaculate?
When babies eat they go "suck, suck, suck, swallow". They take couple of sucks to collect the milk in the mouth and then swallow it in. The liquid has to build up in the mouth before their swallow reflex kicks in.

Also, I beleive the amount of milk swallowed at one time is very less. My 3 month old takes about 20 mins to drink 4 ounces of milk. 1 oz is 6tsp. So, that comes to 20 mins for 24tsp. So, that comes to around a little more than 1 tsp a minute. I can see how 1 tsp of liquid ejected forcefully in a matter of secs can overwhelm him
Quote:
Also, could an infant really open its mouth wide enough to take in the whole tip of an adult penis? If not, could a man cum easily when only the tip the size of a mom's nipple is stimulated?
Yes, that's what I was thinking too. However, the OP doesn't mention how old the baby is.
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  #13  
Old 16 April 2007, 05:28 PM
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I'm trying not to think about this too much but...

Yes I do think a man could be stimulated to orgasm if a small part of his glans was stimulated continuously, in the way that a hungry baby might. He might need to give himself some additional stimulation though. IME (not involving anything grotesque or illegal, consenting adults only please) the amount of touching and stimulation needed is dependent on the level of arousal before any physical contact.

I don't know if the baby would be overwhelmed by the sudden volume of ejaculate. Sounds pausible (as per Mad Jay's post)

I partially read a novel many years ago. I don't remember what it was called, or who it was by. I thought it was by Anthony Burgess, but a quick look through his list of works doesn't bring up anything that seems to match. It was set in Roman times, and quite early on the debauched emperor grabs a nursing baby from it's mothers breast and - well I'll leave you to fill in the rest.

That's when I stopped reading. But maybe this is a precursor for this story.

There was also a rather disturbing documentary I watched about 15 years ago on child abuse in which a girl (maybe 5/6) described how "Daddy made wee-wee in my mouth, then gave me some orange juice to take away the taste." I don't think it was wee-wee.

Last edited by Eddylizard; 16 April 2007 at 05:37 PM.
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  #14  
Old 16 April 2007, 06:56 PM
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It's hard to be sure of the Roman Emperors as the successors tended to put spin on everything, but some of the texts I've read refer to one of the more debauched ones using suckling babes to stimulate his penis and Tiberius had groups of little boys swimming with him in the Roman baths and stimulating him as they swam beneath. I can find online references to the "minnows" (swimming bath boys), but not to the use of suckling babes (at least not without sifting through reams of porn and accidentally ending up at sites that could get me arrested).

http://frontpage.montclair.edu/alvar...eriusGaius.htm
Quote:
We hear of him bathing with young boys called his ‘minnows’.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/tex...on=&in_chn_id=
Quote:
In a private chamber, the Emperor indulged his most obscene desires to the full. He had little boys trained as minnows or 'tiddlers' to chase him when he went swimming in the imperial pool, nibbling between his legs.
ETA: I've seen transcripts of chat room conversations (part of news reports) where men fantasise about/describe their ultimate pleasure of being fellated by soft-mouthed 6 year olds. Truly sickening. However both the transcripts and the Roman comparisons were deliberate abuses of children made to perform those acts.
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  #15  
Old 17 April 2007, 12:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grand Illusion View Post
Also, could an infant really open its mouth wide enough to take in the whole tip of an adult penis? If not, could a man cum easily when only the tip the size of a mom's nipple is stimulated?
During breastfeeding, the baby is latched on the mother's areola - the darkened area behind the nipple. The nipple itself is pulled way towards the back of the baby's mouth. When a baby is bottle fed, they are only sucking on a small tip because that is all that's required. This is a common cause of nipple soreness in early breastfeeding - improper latch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Jay
When babies eat they go "suck, suck, suck, swallow". They take couple of sucks to collect the milk in the mouth and then swallow it in. The liquid has to build up in the mouth before their swallow reflex kicks in.
I don't think that's true of breastfeeding though. As noted above, the nipple is pulled so far back into the mouth, that a single suck is automatically followed by a swallow. I've got a great instructional DVD by Dr. Jack Newman that shows new moms exactly the type of suck/swallow pattern to look for to make sure baby is doing it right.

As far as the OP - ick - I think I need brain bleach now for even participating in this thread!
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  #16  
Old 17 April 2007, 02:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
.....When he sat down to talk, the baby started nursing his penis. When he ejaculated, the baby choked to death.
Here's what I don't get--

Wouldn't the man in this supposed situation have stopped his baby right after it began its, uh, "nursing" -- or are we supposed to believe that he sat there on the phone and allowed his infant to essentially perform oral sex upon him until he reached a climax?
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  #17  
Old 17 April 2007, 02:48 AM
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Regarding Eddylizard's comment about the Burgess novel, I remember a passage in one of Gary Jenning's novels ("The Journeyer") in which a male character puts his "member" into an infant's mouth to which the novel's title character (Marco Polo, by the way) reacts with some disgust.
As to the specifics of the original post, it does seem a bit urban legend-ish. As others have commented, the idea that a man could be showering AND answer the phone AND sit down in such a way that the infant could be nursing "down there" (seriously, how is THAT possible?*) just seems to be pushing the bounds of credibility further than anything out of the National Enquirer.

*If you think about it for just a second, the kid is being held upside down OR daddy's got his legs spread and has put the kid's face in his crotch deliberately. That's not even taking into account that there's a phone in the bathroom and this bathroom is much better furnished than most. My bathroom only has two possible "seats"--the edge of the tub and the toilet. I can't see either being comfortable enough for a person to sit on WITH AN INFANT. It also fails to take into account the fact that the penis is designed to ejaculate only when erect (the few cases of a non-erect penis ejaculating are generally from men who are enormously endowed and can't achieve what's viewed as a "full erection"; anything much above 9" can harden but gravity tends to work against the other visible displays--sticking up or pointing out). If a man's sitting down while holding an infant he might get an erection (very little is needed for a healthy man to get hard and I can see an infant, likely to be squirming and wriggling, create the stimulation) but it's highly unlikely that erection would wind up in the kid's mouth, and we really don't want to think about the alternatives.
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  #18  
Old 17 April 2007, 08:22 AM
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Yow! Baby...yuck, I can't type it

I'm a real psychologist. This story is supposedly told by a psychologist as told to her by a client describing what someone told her teenager. If any of the people supposedly re-telling the tale actually exist, what you get is either the fantasy of a sick individual, perhaps who had watched with avid interest the intensity of a baby's suckling & thought of the advantage of no teeth, or the defense used by a pedophile after getting caught. E.g., he just happened to be naked, the child initiated the sexual contact, he was distracted (by the phone) & didn't notice until he climaxed...I have worked with pedophiles who did work up alibis such as this to deny that they had intent beforehand & to make it seem they were innocent victims. Babies do occasionally grab you in what could be interpreted as sexual regions of the body, but they also grab noses, light switches, remote controls, earrings... And any normal person would not be aroused but would re-direct the baby to another toy.
But...
I have heard from many people about being forced to do fellatio, raped in fact, it happened to me once when I was a teen, and there can definitely be a choking sensation if the man in his arousal forces it down the throat (Remember Deep Throat? She didn't gag, but most of us will.)
The baby, if true, would have choked as the man forced his penis further down its throat, not from the ejaculate. The man may not have intended its death. Babies have also been damaged internally from more conventional rapes, vaginal tears or anal fissures.
Sorry to have to tell you this.
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  #19  
Old 17 April 2007, 08:40 AM
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Quote:
It also fails to take into account the fact that the penis is designed to ejaculate only when erect
I can assure you it is possible to ejaculate whilst not erect, indeed whilst fully flaccid. Although I am only one data point, I don't think my plumbing is much different to any other man's, and I'm far from being one of the enormous types.
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  #20  
Old 17 April 2007, 07:58 PM
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Never mind, it wasnt nice so I deleted it.
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