The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

[Squishy0405]

Its that time of year again. . . . .

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs.

And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I

would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure

[Cactus Wren]

In short, "I will promise never never never never never to wear comfortable shoes in hot summer weather if there's the faintest hint of possibility that someone might find my feet less attractive than those in shoe-catalogue photographs."

[Magpye]

I don't think such "rules" are written by people who live in hot climates. When we visited Hawai'i this winter everyone was wearing cheapie flip-flops with apparently total disregard for the attractiveness of their footwear, let alone their feet.

Or maybe that's just Hawai'i?

[We'veBeenHad]

Heh. All I could think of when seeing this was TWoP's recap of Joe Millionaire - the guy just insisted on wearing flip-flops on his dates.

http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com...3/index-3.html

Okay, flip-flops are unacceptable, especially if you're a man, and especially if you're going to be near food. No one wants to look at your hammertoes while they're making a stir-fry. And Evan has some seriously ugly feet.

[MapleLeaf]

And while we're at it, all women have to promise never to leave the house wearing anything but designer jeans with a hint of cameltoe and a seam hiding up their ass, as well as a v-neck top with a secure, lifting bra, lipstick, foundation, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, and pointy high-heeled shoes.

[We'veBeenHad]

Originally Posted by MapleLeaf

And while we're at it, all women have to promise never to leave the house wearing anything but designer jeans with a hint of cameltoe and a seam hiding up their ass, as well as a v-neck top with a secure, lifting bra, lipstick, foundation, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, and pointy high-heeled shoes.

NO MANOLO BLAHNIKS. EVER!!!!!

[JessBoo]

Originally Posted by Cactus Wren

In short, "I will promise never never never never never to wear comfortable shoes in hot summer weather if there's the faintest hint of possibility that someone might find my feet less attractive than those in shoe-catalogue photographs."

Hold on- where does it say anything about not wearing comfortable shoes? It doesn't say 'you must only wear heels/flats/flip flops/wedges' (delete as appropriate- I find all those comfy except flats). It basically says 'don't wear shoes that are broken or that don't fit' which is fair advice, surely?

The 'don't get your feet out if they are ugly because they will offend my beautiful eyes' thing is quite offensive- but nowhere does it say that you ca't wear comfortable shoes.

[AliBaba]

I don't think such "rules" are written by people who live in hot climates. When we visited Hawai'i this winter everyone was wearing cheapie flip-flops with apparently total disregard for the attractiveness of their footwear, let alone their feet.
Or maybe that's just Hawai'i?

Except in Hawai'i they don't call 'em flip flops - they calls 'em "slippahs." I got schooled on this by my nephews when I visited a while back.

But back to the OP, it's funny, I'm a big believer in not exposing my feet if they're not pedicured. But I resent the hell out of someone else telling me that it has to be that way. Hey you! Mind your own beeswax - what the hell are you doing looking at people's feet instead of their faces anyway? Fetishist....

Ali "I'm gellin'" Baba

[Lainie]

Originally Posted by JessBoo

The 'don't get your feet out if they are ugly because they will offend my beautiful eyes' thing is quite offensive- but nowhere does it say that you ca't wear comfortable shoes.

I think Catcus Wren's point was about comfort in very hot weather. I don't personally care to expose my toes for a number of reasons, and I do find it quite difficult to find well-ventilated shoes that cover my toes. When it's 90 degrees F and the relative humidity is >50 or 60%, closed shoes (non-sandals) can become very uncomfortable.

[Aud 1]

I wonder what they'd think about the scars on my feet and my freakishly long second toe. This won't stop from wearing open toe sandals. That freakishly long toe is so very happy when it's not bumping into anything.

[Radon Girl]

Originally Posted by Aud 1

I wonder what they'd think about the scars on my feet and my freakishly long second toe. This won't stop from wearing open toe sandals. That freakishly long toe is so very happy when it's not bumping into anything.

Hey yeah, I have a freakishly long second toe as well. My Mum always told me that it would help me run fast, funnily enough it never did.

My biggest problem with open toes shoes is that as an Australian living in the UK I get really funny looks when I call them thongs. Yeah Yeah I know thongs are sexy underwear but when you've call thongs thongs your whole life flip flops just sounds weird.

[Lainie]

Originally Posted by Radon Girl

My biggest problem with open toes shoes is that as an Australian living in the UK I get really funny looks when I call them thongs. Yeah Yeah I know thongs are sexy underwear but when you've call thongs thongs your whole life flip flops just sounds weird.

They used to call them thongs in the US, too. I think the underwear was originally named after the shoes.

[Spam & Cookies-mmm]

Originally Posted by Lainie

They used to call them thongs in the US, too. I think the underwear was originally named after the shoes.

I think both are named after the strings.

Some people still call them thongs. My office mate calls them, and the underpants, "tongs", which is a whole nother image.

[Cactus Wren]

Originally Posted by JessBoo

Hold on- where does it say anything about not wearing comfortable shoes? It doesn't say 'you must only wear heels/flats/flip flops/wedges' (delete as appropriate- I find all those comfy except flats). It basically says 'don't wear shoes that are broken or that don't fit' which is fair advice, surely?

The 'don't get your feet out if they are ugly because they will offend my beautiful eyes' thing is quite offensive- but nowhere does it say that you ca't wear comfortable shoes.

No, it just says you can't wear open shoes of any sort if you have visible calluses or a less-than-perfect polish job. The idea behind the whole item is that your feet are supposed to look perfect, and if they don't, they're horrible, hide them.

Believe me, if I'm running down to the hardware store or the supermarket -- or the city park, for that matter -- and it's summer, I'm going to wear sandals if it so pleases me. And I'm not going to stop and renew my polish or inspect the shave job on my NFBSKing big toe before I leave, either.

[Chloe]

I'm sure this person is helping to fund a 'Pedicures for the Poor' program.

[Banrion]

There is a brand of thong sandals called titties, which my mom loves, I have found them to be amusing since I was little.

[Ryda Wong, EBfCo.]

All I have to say to the author of this OP? They may feel free to suck my hairy, calloused, unpolished, dirty big toe.

If someone is offended at my frickin toe, they need to grow up. I don't complain about your ton of make-up or your stinky perfume or your "I spent six hours on my do" hair or your "I totally can't walk like a normal human or manage to get on the bus in these heels" shoes. Just roll your eyes and get on with your life.

Ryda "Food poisioned and feelin' like crap" Wong.

[BlushingBride]

I love sandal season. I wear an 11 1/2. That's not a size you can usually find. So all winter, I have to either wear 11s that are too small or 12s that are too big. The only time my feet are ever comfortable is in the summer, when I can let my poor, freakishly long toes free in my open-toed 11s, and anyone who doesn't like it is free to look away.

[claudia]

Originally Posted by Spam & Cookies-mmm

I think both are named after the strings.

Some people still call them thongs. My office mate calls them, and the underpants, "tongs", which is a whole nother image.

My EX-MIL used that pronunciation.

[Tori]

Originally Posted by Magpye

I don't think such "rules" are written by people who live in hot climates. When we visited Hawai'i this winter everyone was wearing cheapie flip-flops with apparently total disregard for the attractiveness of their footwear, let alone their feet.

Or maybe that's just Hawai'i?

Oh no, I live in a tropical climate (only two seasons: wet and dry) and the same is true here too. Sandals and thongs for all, screw attractiveness.