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Old 11 August 2010, 07:33 PM
Jenn's Avatar
Jenn Jenn is offline
 
Join Date: 19 February 2000
Location: Alberta
Posts: 19,327
Bonsai Kitten Missing Missy: Lost cat poster

Comment: Is this real?? What happened to the cat??

Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic
designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence...

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been
missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could
make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it
around my suburb this afternoon.



This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is
black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my
phone number.
Thanks Shan.

__________________________________________________ __

Fromavid Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and
not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you
managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold,
frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs
squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will,
of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy
return of Missy.
Regards, David.

__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine.
I have to leave at 1pm today.

__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went
clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots.
They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could
just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party
was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block,
I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named
Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and
he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair
already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing
Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto
the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the
cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his
beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.



__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how
come the photo of Missy is so small?

__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional
over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can
you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed
you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not
welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how
to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am
willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with
thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections
or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days
down a well once but that was just for fun. I have amended and attached
the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.



__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole
photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I
just want it to say Lost.

__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster



__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost
and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name.
Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it
was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but
after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty
litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about
it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my
mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to
collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him.
Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to
collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on
about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.



__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I
gave you a photo of my cat.

__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of
several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this.
If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a
black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?"
you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed
after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies
with wheels.. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be
removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could
charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same
with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.

__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you
even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please
remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww



__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten
minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

__________________________________________________ __

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


__________________________________________________ __

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.
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  #2  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:39 PM
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granola shoes granola shoes is offline
 
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Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 4,313
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First, that is hilarious, real or not. Second, what is so difficult about making a poster as simple as that in Word that you need to bug a graphic designer to do it for you?? To top it off she wanted it done NOW since she had to leave early - obviously her time is far more precious than her coworker's.
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  #3  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:42 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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LOL @
Quote:
The cat is lost in the negative space.
I would bet that a bunch of graphic designers have gotten stupid non-work requests like this.

PS. The second poster is the best.
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  #4  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:43 PM
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granola shoes granola shoes is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
PS. The second poster is the best.
Personally I like the final version with the red hat
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  #5  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:43 PM
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It's a fake, done by the same guy that did the spider drawing as payment for a bill.
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  #6  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:44 PM
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I figured it was too brilliant to be real!
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  #7  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:49 PM
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Artemis Artemis is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Algae View Post
It's a fake, done by the same guy that did the spider drawing as payment for a bill.
Link doesn't work...

Slightly off topic, but what's with the phone number in the Missy poster?
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  #8  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:49 PM
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Jenn Jenn is offline
 
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Location: Alberta
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
I would bet that a bunch of graphic designers have gotten stupid non-work requests like this.
I know two guys in the industry and according to them they're asked for things like this all the time. Posters for lost pets, advertising garage sales and items for sale, invitations for birthday parties.
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  #9  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:52 PM
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Jenn Jenn is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis View Post
Slightly off topic, but what's with the phone number in the Missy poster?
It appears to be an Australian phone number.
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  #10  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:52 PM
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I love David Thorne. Someone posted this on FB recently, I think it was a snopester. I <3 his blog, there's a ton of great stuff.
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  #11  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:54 PM
Dr. Dave Dr. Dave is offline
 
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I saw the "Lost" scene and the "NO REWARD" coming, but they, and the whole thing, are still hilarious.

But the first one- "It's a design thing." really sticks it.
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  #12  
Old 11 August 2010, 07:54 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granola shoes View Post
Personally I like the final version with the red hat
That would only be okay if Missy the Cat were Missy the Penguin.
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  #13  
Old 11 August 2010, 08:01 PM
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I am at work trying not to laugh out loud.
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  #14  
Old 11 August 2010, 08:06 PM
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Gibbie Gibbie is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Dave View Post
I saw the "Lost" scene and the "NO REWARD" coming, but they, and the whole thing, are still hilarious.

But the first one- "It's a design thing." really sticks it.
That's my favorite part.

A friend of mine sent me this the other week in a pdf. That version however is missing most of the designer's e-mails. His e-mails to her are generally truncated with most of the funny parts gone.

Gibbie
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  #15  
Old 11 August 2010, 08:15 PM
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I am in tears.
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  #16  
Old 11 August 2010, 08:41 PM
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I just sent this my friend C who is a Graphic Designer. I think she will find it hiiiiiiilarious.
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  #17  
Old 11 August 2010, 10:21 PM
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This was laugh-out-loud funny the first three times I read it. Even funnier, maybe, because we have an almost identical cat in our office.
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  #18  
Old 11 August 2010, 10:37 PM
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Ana Ng Ana Ng is offline
 
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Am I getting soft in my old age? I just thought it was mean, though I haven't really gotten over losing my kitten in November so I could be sensitive. I've laughed at his other stuff, I think the funniest was the apartment-neighbor-party one.
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  #19  
Old 11 August 2010, 10:56 PM
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BoKu BoKu is offline
 
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Hello Kitty

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ana Ng View Post
Am I getting soft in my old age? I just thought it was mean...
I must be as well. Fictional though it is, it came off as a depiction of petty, childish, and unprofessional behavior in a creepy passive-agressive manner. Around here, it would probably eventually prove to be a CLM (Career Limiting Maneuver).

What's so hard about "I'm really sorry about your kitty, but I have a firm policy of..."?

And, if this designer is really so crap-hot, it would take him, without exaggeration, about three minutes to make the poster and just move on with life. That and the barest facsimile of sympathy would be worth bank brownie points.
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  #20  
Old 11 August 2010, 11:07 PM
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If real, yeah, he's just a dick. If he doesn't have time, just say so, not the passive aggressive initial response. The rest of it shows he has plenty of time... to be a dick.

As a parody, blowing off steam, it's a little funny. The woman would have to be an idiot to not get the bleeding sarcasm of the first response, and continue to engage him, especially after seeing the things he was returning.

I agree, the one in the red hat is my favorite. You know, it probably would get more people to notice the sign than a basic lost cat poster.

eta: I just noticed the subtlety of humor in the request "and do it in colour please" for a picture with a black and white cat...
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