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Old 31 March 2007, 11:07 PM
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Icon97 Why God Made Moms

Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
==============================
THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.
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  #2  
Old 31 March 2007, 11:13 PM
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Four Kitties Four Kitties is offline
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Hello Kitty

Mom-a-chow
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  #3  
Old 31 March 2007, 11:19 PM
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Ive always wondered what would happen if I lived with two dads and they were both like the dad I have now. I think the house would fall apart in minutes. Then again, if I had two moms like my mom I'd be cleaning my room every second of the day. I've known several gay and lesbian couples, and one is always the responsible one and always is the practical one. Is this like an unwritten rule?
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Old 31 March 2007, 11:22 PM
We'veBeenHad
 
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I've seen those before; really I think they're fairly cute, though not side-splitting or anything. They seem mostly like they could be real replies from kids.

I could have done without the gratuitous man-slamming tag at the end.
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Old 04 April 2007, 10:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inkrose115 View Post
Ive always wondered what would happen if I lived with two dads and they were both like the dad I have now. I think the house would fall apart in minutes. Then again, if I had two moms like my mom I'd be cleaning my room every second of the day. I've known several gay and lesbian couples, and one is always the responsible one and always is the practical one. Is this like an unwritten rule?
Opposites attract? I think that's just life, if you take two people one of them's always going to be more resposible than the other, and if they're a couple, that person will end up doing most practical things because they;re more responsible. They don't even have to be a couple, as anyone who's met me and my best friend will tell you. (I'm the irresponsible one.)

This glurge is making me feel queasy. It's so obviously adults trying to write sute stuff they think kids would say but failing miserably. It'd have to be a faith school, too, because if I had kids in mainstream education, I would not want them being asked loaded questions that assume the existence of a creator God by authority figures.


Quote:
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
*barf*

Quote:
What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
While kids might think this, they would probably have trouble phrasing it like this. Another example of adults writing how they think kids think.

Quote:
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Too smartass for real elementary-school-aged kids.

Quote:
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Ditto.

Quote:
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
...
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
Too insightful.

Just.. fake and sickening. Like those no-calorie sweeteners for tea.
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