Red Light, Green Light

[TB Tabby]

Found on FSTDT.com:

""I was sitting at a red light,the light had just turned red,and I looked up at the beautiful sky,the clouds were absolutely beautiful ,and I started thinking about what it will be like the day we're caught up in the clouds to meet Jesus,and I was just talking to Jesus about how I cannot wait to finally see Him and be with Him,and I started wondering whether or not we would hear the trumpet,and I was wondering what it would sound like... and all of a sudden I heard this very loud car horn(the light had turned green),and I just about jumped out of my seat!

I realized,as I started driving again that maybe Jesus was showing me just how sudden and unexpected it will be,just like the car horn that,unexpectedly jolted me back to attention,so will the moment when He calls us up to meet Him in the clouds. I felt that day,that Jesus let me see that He too has a sense of humor,but at the same time can use it to teach us things."

A reply from JesusLover_2002:
"that is just too funny! And wonderful how the Lord Jesus gets our attention like that..."

Here's what they had to say about it.

[boogers]

I think Jesus just likes for us to drive carefully and perhaps not get so excited over meeting Him that we endanger ourselves and others.

[Ryda Wong, EBfCo.]

My favorite FTSD traffic related quote:

A young Christian man had been having a problem with speeding and with minor traffic violations. For example, he would periodically make a wrong turn because he did not notice a traffic sign. He had been cited for some of these violations. We broke curses over him in these areas and cast out spirits of speeding, careless driver and traffic violations.

Additional spirits that are active in this category of daily living are: blocked concentration (of driver), roving mind, heavy foot, fear of making mistakes in driving, fear of getting caught by police, and others."

[Cowboy Joe]

Why do fundie types always assume Jesus is responsible for the most mundane happenings in our lives? I consider myself quite religious, and yet, it seems to me that the cuplrit here was not Jesus but the guy in the '97 Buick who was late for his kids soccer game and you were holding things up due to daydreaming. That seems less than miraculous. What an easy way to avoid responsibility. Blame it all on Jesus. Perhaps glurge is Jesus way of telling us that we spend an awful lot of time on sstupid cra.

[Buckle Up]

"I was on the on-ramp speeding up to get on the freeway, and as I was approaching the lane I was thinking about how great it is that we can all just merge, and how others on the road just move aside for me, and I was thinking of how great that is, that people of other faiths are always so glad and happy when we share the Lord with them, and they kindly move aside when God tells us to share things or do things.

Anyway I was getting ready to join the others on the freeway but this guy wouldn't change lanes or slow down to let me in, and I just kept going because I knew that it was God's will for me to be on the road, and how it was the other driver's responsibility to modify his driving to let me in...and all of a sudden I heard a loud screeching sound, then a loud bang and a crunching of metal, and I was spun around a few times.

And as my car stopped upon crashing into the cement barrier, I realized that maybe Jesus was showing me just how arrogant and dangerous it can be to assume I'm always right and that others will modify their way of thinking and living whenever I think they should."

[Mouse]

Y'know if Jesus can find time to deal with your boring-ass problems, maybe he can get off his butt and do something about Iraq.

It seems really, I don't know, sad that everything in FundieGlurgeLand has to get interpreted through the lens of FundieGlurginess. It seems so self-centered to think that every mundane happenstance (including those obviously directly caused by real OTHER PEOPLE, not a supreme being-- such as someone honking a horn at you, or someone returning your lost wallet) has to be a coded message directly to you from your deity.

To me, that shows a lack of faith, if you have to go looking for "proof" of God's messages absolutely everywhere. If you truly believed, wouldn't you just know that God is there without having to apply your insane reading-in to stoplights and car horns and seeing the Virgin Mary in burnt toast?

Especially since God (if he/she/it exists) seems to have such an entirely hands-off approach.

But, of course, that's just my ranting $0.02.

[MapleLeaf]

I was making a sandwich and I didn't have any Miracle Whip. And I was going to throw out the sandwich, because it just wasn't a sandwich without the tangy zip of Miracle Whip. But then I realized that I should be looking to Jesus to fulfill my miracle needs, not the false messiah of Kraft. So I squeezes my Jesus on some bread and mmmmmm! That's good sandwich.

[TrishDaDish]

I can't help it, this reply from the OP has me cracking up:

I love how the Lord uses Marx Brothers movies to get my attention.

HONK!--Jesus wants two hard-boiled eggs.