Brother's Facebook revenge on sister

[WonkoTheSane]

Originally Posted by DesertRat

That being said--and yes, I'm honestly ashamed of myself for this--I still laughed pretty hard when I read it. Which kind of bothers me.

I don't think there's anything wrong in laughing at it. I laughed, too, but am still pretty appalled at his behavior. The disconnected internet part of me laughs. Probably the same part of me that gets off blowing fake people away on COD MW2, while the real me is still deeply horrified by the realities of war.

Anyway, the quick-thinking response by the sister should have been along the lines of a calm "Don't know where you got that... I didn't write it"

Wonko

[fitz1980]

Originally Posted by Magdalene

1.) I'm not sure how the girl's list was 'superbad'--as one Snopester already posted, this was a common thing at slumber parties, and quite frankly, grown women still have fantasies, and I think most of us if pressed, would admit we have a list of men and things we fantasize about doing with them. Though I do doubt most of us keep it as a 'scavenger hunt' thing, where we're actually going to do them.

The brother tagged several of the guys listed in it on the picture. Plenty of men and women have had and discussed all kinds of brazenly sexual fantasies but they usually don't want their potential partner hearing about it. Epically if they were one of the mid level guys. I know I wouldn't want to hear "I might give him a BJ if he fixed his hair but OMG I would do anything to be {some other dude's} sex slave" about someone I was dating.

Originally Posted by Magdalene

3.) There is the "You Went Way Too Far" thing. Telling your parents that your underage brother is sneaking beer and getting him grounded: Normal. Branding your sister as a slut on the internet for the whole word to see: Going too far.

Technically the re-poster of the list blurred the full names of everyone so it's less the whole world and more their circle of friends. But on the flip side if she was really going to go through with hooking up with all of those guys she'd get a slutty rep all on her own. Not that there's anything wrong with that; some of my best friends (male and female) are scandalous sluts.

The whole thing could be a fake anyway. There's even a website that allows you to make fake facebook posts just to create screen caps of this type to repost. It does have all of the hallmarks of a contrived, silly story. He explains the entire backstory in the post. All of the guys listed within are his facebook friends to be tagged and she even throws a fit in the comment section. And of course it even sets up his ultimate revenge. She can't do a thing about it because, as he already said "Asian parents are strict" and she can't well go to them and say he shared her list of guys she wanted to get sexual with.

[NayShel]

Originally Posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo.

Oh, agreed. But from my own experience, children born to "strict" parents are sorta raised to play off one another. If the parents are punishing/angry at one child, you are far less likely to be singled out for punishment/anger.

Sort of off topic but I had the exact opposite experience. Mom, as a single working parent, was very strict but Bro and I teamed up and kept a lot of secrets from her. She used to work for the Red Cross and would work long days and sometimes stay overnight for blood drives if they travelled farther upstate so when Bro was old enough, he was in charge. He'd throw parties and I'd hang out with his friends and then when I was old enough I'd go out with my friends and he'd help me nurse my hangovers. We had lots of fun and she never knew anything.

[Troodon]

Originally Posted by DesertRat

[assumption that this is real, not faked]

While I can understand the brother's frustration at being dimed out, his response was horribly disproportionate and way out if line. That kind of thing can follow her forever.

That being said--and yes, I'm honestly ashamed of myself for this--I still laughed pretty hard when I read it. Which kind of bothers me.

On the other hand, it's good game theory. If you are known for disproportionate retaliation, you discourage people from messing with you. If this is in fact real, there's a good change that the guy's sister won't ever tell on him again. If he doesn't like her anyway, then that's what's going to be important to him.

What if the parents simply found the beer and he blames her for snitching?
His act of revenge becomes even worse. We've no proof that she actually snitched whereas he admits to having beer, snooping his sisters room and posting personal and private info about her.

[Spud Sabre]

I hope this is fake, but if it's not I hope the sister doesn't get dumped by all her friends because of it.

[Spud Sabre]

Originally Posted by Magdalene

3.) There is the "You Went Way Too Far" thing. Telling your parents that your underage brother is sneaking beer and getting him grounded: Normal. Branding your sister as a slut on the internet for the whole word to see: Going too far.

Magdalene

There is no acceptable level. Any retaliation on his part would have been too far.

The comments on that site are horrid. She did not, in any way, deserve that.

[The Goof]

Ok, off topic, but I had no idea what V-card was, I had to Google it. Man am I out of the loop, or old, or both.

[chocolate kisses]

Originally Posted by The Goof

Ok, off topic, but I had no idea what V-card was, I had to Google it. Man am I out of the loop, or old, or both.

I am thoroughly embarrassed to admit I thought it meant Valentine card!

[TripleAAA]

Originally Posted by chocolate kisses

I am thoroughly embarrassed to admit I thought it meant Valentine card!

Me too! I just googled it. Oiy.

this was a common thing at slumber parties,

I must have missed out on those slumber parties. We just played MASH.

[mela681]

Originally Posted by The Goof

Ok, off topic, but I had no idea what V-card was, I had to Google it. Man am I out of the loop, or old, or both.

I didn't know either. I assumed it was something computer related when I heard it in songs, lol. I figured it out from the context of the OP and I thought "Man, those songs make a whole lot more sense now."

Originally Posted by TripleAAA

I must have missed out on those slumber parties. We just played MASH.

We talked about it at slumber parties, but we never wrote it down. We knew what would happen if we wrote that kind of thing down. (Though we did make a list of all the guys we knew that absent friends had slept with and talked about how slutty they were )

I did once write a letter to a friend who lived far off about how much I liked a certain guy. My sister got it before I could mail it and gave it to the guy I don't even remember how I came out of that one but the guy and I came out to be good buddies (in a purely platonic way) later in school.

[Amigone201]

Originally Posted by Troodon

On the other hand, it's good game theory. If you are known for disproportionate retaliation, you discourage people from messing with you. If this is in fact real, there's a good change that the guy's sister won't ever tell on him again. If he doesn't like her anyway, then that's what's going to be important to him.

You're obviously not hearing me. "Game theory" is not how mature people who love each act toward one another. Does it work? Maybe. Is it a good idea? Absolutely not.

Being in a family is not about maintaining as much power as you can muster over everyone else. Nor is having people afraid of you necessarily something to strive for. I was afraid of the school bully in elementary school. Did it keep people from messing with him? Yeah, but that didn't mean everything was fine. Tyrants maintain order by keeping people in line like through fear. Would you like to live in a tyranny because it's nice and safe?

[Ramblin' Dave]

Originally Posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo.

But from my own experience, children born to "strict" parents are sorta raised to play off one another. If the parents are punishing/angry at one child, you are far less likely to be singled out for punishment/anger.

Not IME. When my parents were mad at one of us, the other was best advised to stay out of sight as much as possible.

Originally Posted by Amigone201

You're obviously not hearing me. "Game theory" is not how mature people who love each act toward one another. Does it work? Maybe. Is it a good idea? Absolutely not.

Siblings are not necessarily people who love each other, and sometimes in a difficult family situation, you do have to play games. I am not in any way justifying what the brother did - he went way, way, way too far - but that doesn't mean there is never a time for hitting back at a sibling. It's all very well and good to say "ignore her" or "tell Mom and Dad," but sometimes those won't work.

All I can say is that I am glad there was no facebook when I was in high school, or I would have been RUINED by the things I did then!

~Jill

[TrishDaDish]

Is anyone considering the fact that the sister was snooping around in her brother's room in the first place, finding the hidden booze?

Go on about ratting him out as being nasty if you want, but if she wasn't snooping around where she shouldn't be in the first place, none of this would've happened.

[Christie]

Originally Posted by TrishDaDish

Is anyone considering the fact that the sister was snooping around in her brother's room in the first place, finding the hidden booze?

Go on about ratting him out as being nasty if you want, but if she wasn't snooping around where she shouldn't be in the first place, none of this would've happened.

First of all I really doubt this story ever happened, but if it did, there is still such a thing as "making the punishment fit the crime". The sister would have been punished for snooping in most families except that what she did ended up paling in comparison to what her brother did to her. Siblings snoop and rat each other out all the time - they don't usually make a habit of going on-line and trying to humiliate and otherwise ruin their sibling's life.

[TrishDaDish]

Hey, I don't deny we go snooping in our brother's/sister's room when we're young. And I'm not saying she deserved what happened in the story. It's just that everyone focuses on how the brother snuck in her room and found the 'list" paper, and no one seems to be taking into account that she had been snooping in his room first. In context:

She snoops in his room, finds booze. Rats him out to folks. They ground him. He then snoops in her room, finds embarrassing list, posts it on the intertubes for everyone to see.

If she didn't snoop first:

Boy has booze hidden in his room. Most likely drinks it at night when everyone's asleep. Doesn't get caught, but has an awful hangover in the morning and splits for school before parents notice.

[DesertRat]

Is anyone considering the fact that the sister was snooping around in her brother's room in the first place, finding the hidden booze?

Go on about ratting him out as being nasty if you want, but if she wasn't snooping around where she shouldn't be in the first place, none of this would've happened.

STOP BLAIMING THE VICTIM!!!1111111eleventy-one.


On a more serious note, the issue is not that the brother responded in kind--it's that his response was so disproportionately over the line and hurtful, that it was clearly unjustified.

That does not mean that your point does not have merit.

[Amigone201]

Originally Posted by Ramblin' Dave

Siblings are not necessarily people who love each other, and sometimes in a difficult family situation, you do have to play games. I am not in any way justifying what the brother did - he went way, way, way too far - but that doesn't mean there is never a time for hitting back at a sibling. It's all very well and good to say "ignore her" or "tell Mom and Dad," but sometimes those won't work.

Well, there have been times when I would hit my brother for annoying me. I don't think I ever started it, but I would (try to) finish it on the grounds that, if he didn't want that to happen to him, all he'd have to do was stop annoying me.

But I'm not saying we were right, and if, in fact, you are in a situation where you have to play espionage against your siblings, that's not a healthy household.

[Jenn]

Originally Posted by Nick Theodorakis

What state did this occur in?

Or country. Facebook is not populated exclusively by Americans. These siblings could live in any number of English speaking countries that have varying ages of majority and different laws regarding drinking and alcohol possession laws.