Scotsman + Kilt - Underwear = Convenience?

[Stoneage Dinosaur]

One of the seemingly more unlikely ULs I've heard relates to why nothing is worn under the kilt. Basically the original reason was to allow Scottish fighters to urinate/defecate whilst marching without breaking rank, and that it was also convenient for relieving themselves during a long battle.

I've actually managed to find a reference here (link NSFW) to somebody else who's heard the legend:

I heard the kilt was a battle dress and a big advantage when there were no portable toilets around. While the enemy laid their morning eggs the kilt wearers were marching on.

It's probably anti-Scottish propaganda that's been passed down over the years, but has anyone else heard this one?

Also feel free to give reasons why it is unlikely to be true.

[Buckle Up]

All I can think of is that great song by Brian Bowers.

I've certainly heard this, from a British guy who was chock full of unflattering stories about the Scots and the Irish and the Welsh. Would have been, oh, more than ten years ago, when I was living in London.

[queen of the caramels]

What's worn under a kilt?

Nothing, it's all in perfect working order

It sounds more like pro-Scottish propaganda, it perpetuates the myth of the scottish being harder than other peoples.

[Stoneage Dinosaur]

Originally Posted by queen of the caramels

What's worn under a kilt?

Nothing, it's all in perfect working order

I forgot to put in the OP that the first person to post this joke would be soundly thwacked.

So:

[Mochrie99]

What does a Scotsman have under his kilt? Usually a chill...

[Open Mike Night]

Originally Posted by Stoneage Dinosaur

One of the seemingly more unlikely ULs I've heard relates to why nothing is worn under the kilt. Basically the original reason was to allow Scottish fighters to urinate/defecate whilst marching without breaking rank, and that it was also convenient for relieving themselves during a long battle.

I guess that would also serve the secondary pupose of having more people volunteer to be in the front of the platoon.

On the down side, you would probably see a rise in desertions by people in the back row wearing sandals.

[Ana Ng]

I think the equation is actually Scotsman + Kilt - Underwear = Hot.

I swear, men's fashion would be so well served by adopting the kilt for daywear.

[snoozn]

First of all, I like the fact that the partially cut-off subject line on the main forum page reads like a rebus I can agree with:

[the little "I love" icon] Scotsman + Kilt - Underwear


And secondly I am reminded of this song (probably the same song mentioned above--didn't notice that at first!):

The Scotsman

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

[Floater]

A Scotsman told me that he had once attended a wedding in -26 C (-15 F for the Uessans) wearing a fur thong under his kilt.

[DemonWolf]

I think that the reason for "going regimental" is actually a bit more boring.

In the military, the appearance of how the uniform looks, especially while on parade, is given great weight. Wearing undergarments may cause static cling and an unsightly appearace while marching. The only thing less appealing than a thousand kilts clinging and riding up the men's thighs is half of them trying to pick a wedgie.

[kitoboo]

And secondly I am reminded of this song (probably the same song mentioned above--didn't notice that at first!):

The Scotsman

Here is a plug for Mike Cross from North Carolina, the writer of this song. He puts on a great show. If you ever get a chance to see him don't miss it.

[Lancastrian]

Originally Posted by DemonWolf

I think that the reason for "going regimental" is actually a bit more boring.

In the military, the appearance of how the uniform looks, especially while on parade, is given great weight. Wearing undergarments may cause static cling and an unsightly appearace while marching. The only thing less appealing than a thousand kilts clinging and riding up the men's thighs is half of them trying to pick a wedgie.

Alright, now that I'm passed the amusing mental image of formal, syncronized wedgie-picking, I agree with you there but the story claims the plan is to do it every day, and not just when you're dressed up and lookin' perdy. Do you think people just notice a lack of underwear more during formal occassions and assumed men went into battle like that as well?

[Troberg]

I've heard that it's because a sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

My guess is that it's an old tradition, before they had soft, smooth fabrics. I sure wouldn't want to put my package in rough, prickly underwear. Underwear in general is a fairly recent invention (I don't know for sure how recent, but know who to ask and can probably find out), but would guess early middle ages or something like that.

[kitoboo]

A kilt video for you.

[rhiandmoi]

I think it probably more that reason for wearing underwear - to protect the sensitive parts from chafing by clothing - is already eliminated by the lack of fabric between the legs.

[Majorsam]

As someone who used to wear a kilt when I was in a bagpipe band, lo these many years ago let me first answer the age-old question "What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?" with the obvious answer: Shoes & Socks.

That said, I've read in the past that the original kilt was very practical from a marching point of view because when one went thorugh cold streams then it was actually more comfortable as it dried out more quickly because it could air out on both sides, and wasn't flat against the skin when it was wet. Don't know if that's real or not, but thought I'd share.

On the issue of marching whilst doing the necessary...I've had the pleasure of participating in a few early-morning marches in the service of my country and I'm not impressed that this would be a huge time-saver. I can't imagine modifying the uniform that much to save, oh, a minute or so when what we did when we had to go was fall out, do our business, then run like the devil to join the line.

So...sounds questionable to me.

[RainyDaze]

I have a vague memory of hearing/reading that the forced march without stopping was for a specific battle. I Googled but found nothing. As I recall the story a clan of Scotsmen needed to do a forced march to reach a battle in time. The main problem was they had diarrhea which made them stop in the bushes so often it was slowing them down. They were ordered not to stop but just keep marching. They did and reached the battle in time to turn the tide and save the day. Mind you I don't know how effective tired and dehydrated soldiers would be but that was the story.

[matches]

Just out of curiosity, wouldn't the reason for not wearing underwear with one's kilt be because underwear in general is a rather modern invention where as the kilt is an older garment worn by peoples for centuries before the introduction of undergarments, and is still worn today and is traditionally worn as it was in ancient times (Before Underware was common) sans underware?

I mean no one ever comments on the fact that one doesn't wear underware with a Toga right? So isn't that a possible explaination?

Also, I think defecating whiel your walking sounds relativly uncomfortable, especially for the guy marching behind you in line. Also if you're peeing while walking you're likely to pee all over the front of your kilt, since you usually get some distance with those things.