30 Reasons Girls Should Call It A Night

Squishy0405 · #1 17 March 2007, 03:21 AM

*30 Reasons Girls Should Call It A Night*

1. You have absolutely no idea where your friends are.

2. You have absolutely no idea where your car is... wait did you bring your car??

3. You've become convinced that dancing with your arms overhead, shaking your ass, and yelling WOO HOO is truly the sexiest dance move EVER.

4. You've suddenly decided you want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe you can do it (bitch...i ain't playin...).

5. You start singing 80's songs at the top of your lungs and showing off your dance skills to the car next to you.

6. Your bladder becomes amazingly full every 10 minutes.

7. You sit down and the room and people around you start spinning profusely.

8. Your slurring your words so bad, that nobody can understand what your saying and then when they say what, you can't even remember what you were talking about.

9. You've come up with the brilliant idea that you can create less hassle on your friends by just "sleeping over" at a your guy friend's house.

10. You see beers all over a table so you lift each one up until you find one half full and chug it when no one is looking.

11. You talk to stupid skanks you really hate and tell them you really do like them and that ya’ll should be friends.

12. You pass out at the party. And the next morning there is writing all over your face and limbs. (If you pass out with your shoes on, you are fair game).

13. You find yourself peeing behind random buildings.

14. You become overly enthusiastic when someone offers you $20 dollars to make out with your friend (when you totally would have done it for free).

15. The man you're flirting with used to be your TA.

16. You've suddenly taken up smoking, and become really good at it.

17. Every conversation starts with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

18. Your make-up is smeared all over your face and somehow you have still managed to make out with 5 different guys. very classy.

19. The urge to take off articles of clothing becomes strangely overwhelming.

20. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own, so you keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

21. You yell at the bartender, because you think he cheated you by giving you lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the vodka.

22. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like the bathroom floor.

23. Your hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

24. You begin to think you're a really good dancer and anyone within arms reach becomes your new dancing partner.

25. You've taken off your shoes because you believe it's their fault that you're having problems walking.

26. You can't feel your phone vibrating in your pocket and then when you look to see what time it is, you find you have 7 missed calls from someone you
"supposedly" met at the last party.

27. One minute you're strutting your stuff, the next minute you're rolling on the ground, and you can't seem to remember the transition.

28. You can no longer feel your face or limbs so you flail your body about to try to regain feeling.

29. You call your ex-boyfriend 1,000 times and leave lots of really nice voicemails saying that ya'll need to hang out more.

30. You start hugging strange people and having great converstations with strangers at whataburger

Esprise Me · #2 17 March 2007, 03:39 AM

Those sound like 30 good reasons to quit drinking. Also, referring to other women as "stupid skanks" is a lot less "classy" than having smeared makeup.

I could forgive those flaws if this were funny, like this piece.

Richard W · #3 17 March 2007, 04:00 AM

Quote:

14. You become overly enthusiastic when someone offers you $20 dollars to make out with your friend (when you totally would have done it for free).

?! Does that happen to women a lot?

Apart from that and the makeup and the taking off clothes, it seems a fairly accurate list of signs that you should call it a night for anybody (not just "girls"), really. I know I've been there...

(And even the taking off clothes part can apply to men - luckily I haven't that urge myself, but I've seen it happen.)

Nonny Mouse · #4 17 March 2007, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squishy0405

6. Your bladder becomes amazingly full every 10 minutes.

For some women, that's just an average day.

Nonny

London Wolf · #5 03 December 2009, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Richard W

(And even the taking off clothes part can apply to men - luckily I haven't that urge myself, but I've seen it happen.)

I've only ever seen it happen to men. I think this list was written by a guy in an 'I wish' kind of way...

Algae · #6 03 December 2009, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squishy0405

5. You start singing 80's songs at the top of your lungs and showing off your dance skills to the car next to you.

Um...this is me on my way to work at 6:00 in the morning...

Jay Tea · #7 03 December 2009, 12:20 PM

I covered a few of these at a wedding this weekend - and I did call it a night before any of the big ones such as No.7 and No.22 kicked in. In fact I was tucked up in my bed by 10pm, though my first scotch went down at approximately 10am so...

Miki Fantastico · #8 03 December 2009, 02:11 PM

Why just girls? Surely most of these would be equally embarrassing/awkward to a man.

Quote:

You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like the bathroom floor.

Doesn't that imply you've ALREADY called it a night? Unless you're in the habit of holding parties in your bathroom.

Ana Ng · #9 03 December 2009, 02:38 PM

I think the list should be re-titled "if you've committed any of these acts and are over the age of 19, kiss any hope of normal adulthood goodbye." With the exception of outdoor peeing- I don't do it, but most men I know do. Then again, most men I know are Irish and it seems to be somewhat of a national pasttime there. I've seen Irish men leave establishments with good, clean and unoccupied men's rooms to pee outside.

Although I'd say "seriously, who behaves like this when they go out?" because I got all that stuff out of my system by the time I was a freshman in college, I do have a close friend who still carries on like this. In fact, I believe she might read this list, put her hands over her head and yell, "woo!"

I know alcohol affects people differently, but I can drink a lot of it and not exhibit any "woo girl" behavior, and that's been the case for years. I'm of the firm belief that any behavior that comes out while drinking was lurking not too deeply to begin with- if you're making out with five people and being belligerent, that's like, you.

Jay Tea · #10 03 December 2009, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miki Fantastico

Why just girls? Surely most of these would be equally embarrassing/awkward to a man.

Doesn't that imply you've ALREADY called it a night? Unless you're in the habit of holding parties in your bathroom.

I think it's implied that you've simply passed out in the bathroom, which i've discovered, thanks to the internet, is a very common occurrence indeed. Apparently drunk folk sit down on the toilet and find it such an agreeable location - the seat, the peace and quiet, that they fall asleep.

My mate fell asleep during a drunken crap and fell to the floor. He was awoken at 6am with his trousers round his ankles and covered in his own faeces by his angry flatmate pounding on the door desperate to use the toilet himself. I laughed for about a week.

One-Fang · #11 03 December 2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ana Ng

I'm of the firm belief that any behavior that comes out while drinking was lurking not too deeply to begin with- if you're making out with five people and being belligerent, that's like, you.

Correct. Alcohol does not create crazy ideas within you. It simply removes the inhibitions that prevented you acting in a way you wanted to before imbibing.

You want to know someone? Get them drunk. That's who that person is.

Tarquin Farquart · #12 03 December 2009, 07:14 PM

1. Yes
2. N/A
3. Partial credit.
4. Nope.
5. Nope.
6. Yes.
7. Yes.
8. Yes.
9. I don't really get that one. What's that all about?
10. Possibly.
11. ?????
12. Yes, but no writing.
13. Yes.
14. Erm, nope.
15. What's a TA?
16. This has happened, but I'm never good at it.
17. No.
18. N/A
19. No.
20. No.
21. No.
22. No, sofa is the place to fall asleep. Or in bed but fully clothed.
23. No.
24. No.
25. N/A (I'm assuming this refers to party shoes)
26. No.
27. No.
28. No.
29. Partial credit.
30. Yes.

How did I do?

Nick Theodorakis · #13 03 December 2009, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tarquin Farquart

...
15. What's a TA?
...

Teaching Assistant. In US universities, a student (usually a graduate student or an undergraduate who may have taken the class before) who assists the professor in a class. Their duties vary depending on the course and school, but may involve running lab sections, study sessions, grading or proctoring tests, being available for extra help, etc.

Nick

Dr. Dave · #14 03 December 2009, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tarquin Farquart

15. What's a TA?

Teaching Assistant, usually a graduate (Masters or PhD) student. So the implication is that this is a college girl (age 18-22 in the U.S) and the guy is a graduate student, 3-6 years older. (All numbers are approximate.)

I would say that most on the list are signs you (male, female, whatever) should have called it a night half a night ago.

Artemis · #15 03 December 2009, 07:30 PM

I need to urinate every ten mins after like, a beer. Damned small bladder. It's part of why I rarely drink.

Tarquin Farquart · #16 03 December 2009, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Dave

Teaching Assistant, usually a graduate (Masters or PhD) student. So the implication is that this is a college girl (age 18-22 in the U.S) and the guy is a graduate student, 3-6 years older. (All numbers are approximate.)

Ah, now I understand.