Screaming in my sleep

[Flagg]

Over the last month or so I have been talking loudly, and often screaming in my sleep. Sometimes I wake myself up doing it, other times I hear about it in the morning from my wife. It's basically random stuff, usually me expressing some disjointed frustration like, "you're doing it wrong, or, stop it, or leave me alone, or get away from me." There are other things, but never anything specific.

I have always talked in my sleep. Always, as in since childhood when my parents would tell me they could have conversations with me when I was completely unconscious. The last month or so I have been screaming and talking loud enough that it is becoming a disturbance in my marriage. My wife is losing a lot sleep because of me, and this morning said she was going to sleep on the couch for a few nights because she is exhausted at work. I told her I would take the couch since it is me who is causing the problem, but I am hoping this is a temporary solution.

I don't want to end up having to have separate bedrooms, and don't know what to do.

Thoughts?

[marrya]

Having spent nearly 20 years sleeping next to a sleep yeller, and with a pre-teen kid cut from her Daddy's cloth, I have no useful advice, but plenty of sympathy

The Mister goes through patches of having multiple panics in the middle of the night - common routine is to abuptly sit up, throw off the covers, and start rummaging around near the bed, all the while verbalising his panic that "..the thing... you know the thing with the stuff.... WAS IT SWITCHED OFF??!! I've got to go now. QUICK!! DID YOU SEE IT??!!..." and so on.

The only survival technique I've learned [other than earplugs, and stubborn head-under-the-pillow-ness] is that if I hear it starting, I can often prevent the full blown adrenaline pumping drama by saying loudly and firmly "I saw that it was there, so I did it already."

I dont know whether that short circuits whatever dream path or what... but most times I get a sleepy "Are you sure? Oh, okay" and a peaceful night's sleep.

Sometimes, I get an argument about how I couldn't possibly have done it [usually involving reasoning along the lines of how I don't have my astronaut licence] but at some point The Mister surfaces enough to realise it's a dream and subside.

Perhaps your wife could try "I can handle this for you, leave it with me" for your frustrated plaints?

I have no clue about what will fix the kid - we get a full on, top of the voice yell every single night, sometimes with protracted argumentative sounds. I've stopped going in since I realised that if we don't wake the kid, there's no memory of it in the morning.

[AnglRdr]

Flagg, you might find getting a referral to a sleep specialist worthwhile to see if there are any underlying causes.

[Complex Kid]

You sound just like my mom, Flagg. She's done this for years: she starts screaming bloody murder, sometimes yelling "no, don't, get out of here,"' etc, all while still asleep, then when my dad wakes her up, she asks why he did so. She has no memory of screaming or talking. At first she thought we were making it up! She's never been to a doctor about it, but believes she has discovered that it happens more when she's under stress. Perhaps you could find a similar pattern in your life? If you know what causes it, you may be able to stop it without a trip to a doctor.

[Beejtronic]

When I was working 35 hours and going to school full-time, I would often wake up at 3am in a panic, and go running downstairs. I'd end up in the kitchen with no idea why I was there. It hasn't happened since I quit that job, so assumedly it had to do with stress or lack of sleep. If possible, you might try and cut down on stress, and try and get more sleep.

However, I would also recommend seeing a doctor/ sleep specialist if it happens repeatedly, especially if it's affecting your wife's sleep schedule.

[Not_Done_Living]

I dance and sing in my sleep (which is odd as i do neither consiously).. my most famous episode (which woke my then 7 year old daughter) was a rousing chorus of Abba's Dancing Queen.

I also make profound declarations such as "When the burgers collide, they will create a huge mess" or "next time you cook a pizza, make sure the round part is on the outside"

Not quite a screaming/yelling situation, but still disruptive in it's own way.

[Ms. K]

A couple of nights ago, I woke myself up telling Mr. K that he had to fix something. I have no idea what in the name of DOYC he was supposed to fix, but it apparently upset me greatly!

Talking in my sleep is a family trait that I got from my dad, and passed down to my daughter. My mom feels sorry for Mr. K, because he lives in a house with two females, who not only cycle a week apart, but also talk in their sleep, yell in their sleep, and sometimes sleepwalk.

Of course, she really feels sorry for him because I have hit him in my sleep. As in, punched him in the middle of the back, smacked him on top of the head, and so on.

[Flagg]

Originally Posted by Not_Done_Living

I dance and sing in my sleep (which is odd as i do neither consiously).. my most famous episode (which woke my then 7 year old daughter) was a rousing chorus of Abba's Dancing Queen.
...

Please don't be offended, but that made me smile.


I think the stress angle that many mentioned could have something to do with it, I am under a lot of stress right now.

[JoeBentley]

Flagg it sounds like you might be suffering from adult onset Night Terror. Night Terror (one of those things I can't believe there is not a more scientific sounding term for) is most common in children and teens, but it happening and even starting in adults is not unheard of.

Here's a link to some good info, but I second AnglRdr's recommendation of going to talk to a good sleep specialist.

http://sleep.lovetoknow.com/Night_Terrors_in_Adults

[Lainie]

The screaming sounds like night terrors -- not so much the talking. It might be a combination of things. I second the idea of a referral to a sleep specialist if it continues.

[Electrotiger]

Have you had some sort of recent life change like a new job or something? I know it's kind of cliched, but stress can affect people in all sorts of crazy ways without any straightforward signs.

My wife occasionally screams in the night, typically it scares the dirt outta me and ruins my night's sleep.

A few years ago we were at Disneyland on vacation, and at about 1:30am she sits up in bed and starts screaming at the top of her lungs and thrashing around. I lunged over and grabbed her, incurring a handful of fingernail scratches in the process, and with some other difficulty finally woke her. It was the most frightened I've ever been in my entire life. I kept waiting for resort security to show up; I couldn't imagine how our neighbors wouldn't have heard her screaming like that, but nothing happened. I finally fell back to sleep at around 4:30.

[Lainie]

Night terrors, IME, are far harder on those who witness them than on those who experience them.

[NayShel]

Flagg, do you mean screaming in terror or screaming as in loud yelling (more in anger)? Either way you may want to talk to your doc about it but personally, I'd be more worried about the former.

My DH has stressed induced night restlessness which can range from moving around more than usual to full on yelling loudly and thrashing about. I actually tend to lose more sleep when it's the mild form because he's constantly disturbing my sleep. If he's yelling and thrashing, it's usually short lived because he either wakes himself up or gets it out of his system and goes back to sleep. When it's somewhere in between, I usually end up having to get up because he's said something silly to give me the giggles (sort of like what Not_Done_Living described). He's even done the sleep-sex thing a handful of times which would've been enjoyable if he hadn't stopped as soon as I woke up enough to...erm...willingly participate. Similarly I've tried responding to some comments verbally but hearing my voice is apparently enough to cut off the thought and he rolls over and immediately goes back to sleep (like how Marrya described but not as stressful).

And regardless of the situation and my response, he never remembers what happened the next morning.

[snapdragonfly]

Originally Posted by Not_Done_Living

I dance and sing in my sleep (which is odd as i do neither consiously).. my most famous episode (which woke my then 7 year old daughter) was a rousing chorus of Abba's Dancing Queen.

I also make profound declarations such as "When the burgers collide, they will create a huge mess" or "next time you cook a pizza, make sure the round part is on the outside"

Not quite a screaming/yelling situation, but still disruptive in it's own way.

Tomato soup is so very unattractive all over my keyboard. I'm gonna need a toothpick to get the cracker bits out from between the keys...

I'm sure it's not funny at all but I can't help it.

[Flagg]

Originally Posted by NayShel

Flagg, do you mean screaming in terror or screaming as in loud yelling (more in anger)? ...snip

It's more like loud yelling. My wife describes it as me sounding extremely frustrated with someone or something.

I agree with all those who posted that I will need to talk to my doctor about it if it continues.

ETA: I just asked my wife and she says that I do sometimes scream as if I am very frightened, but that is less common than the frustrated type of yelling.

[Flagg]

Originally Posted by JoeBentley

snip...Night Terror (one of those things I can't believe there is not a more scientific sounding term for) ...snip...

Yeah, there was a time when what I am experiencing would have been put down to me being harassed by demons or witches. Night Terrors doesn't sound to far off from that.

Thank you for the link, I am going to check it out now.

[erwins]

Originally Posted by marrya

Perhaps your wife could try "I can handle this for you, leave it with me" for your frustrated plaints?

I think this is a good idea. A friend has a similar issue--he will sit up in bed, or even get up. Many times it has something to do with spiders, which he is pretty frightened of. He sometimes becomes lucid enough that he asks his wife if what he is doing makes sense. He and his wife just had a baby, and since then he has been consistently waking up and searching the covers for the baby, because he thinks it is lost in the covers. His wife has started saying firmly, "He's in his crib." He will sometimes ask, "Did you check?" and when she says yes, he can go back to sleep.

For my friend, it is almost certainly related to stress, so as others have suggested, perhaps working on ways to reduce your stress would also help.

erwins

[snaphappy]

I've always been a sleep talker and a sleep screamer. I had horrible nightmares and night terrors as a child. The nightmares and freaky dreams still continue but I don't verbalize nearly as much...or at least if I do the only person there to hear it is my 4 year old son.

My son, however, voices his frustration loudly in his sleep. He will yell things like "NO, I DON'T WANT TO!" and "PUT THAT OVER THERE" "THAT'S MINE!" etc. I usually follow the tactic mentioned earlier, I will say loudly and firmly "Ok, then! you don't have to do that" or agree with whatever he is saying that is bothering him so much. It does seem to help.

But then sometimes I like to ask him why he said the monkeys like the truck or what part of the kangaroo is he looking for...he was looking for the fuzziest part and the monkeys like the truck because the doors lock

[mizzie]

Originally Posted by Not_Done_Living

"next time you cook a pizza, make sure the round part is on the outside"

Makes me wonder what the pizza looked like.

DH talks in his sleep and it does typically get worse when he's stressed or tired. It's never been enough to seriously disrupt my sleep, so I guess I'm lucky there. Typically it'll only last a few seconds and we can go back to sleep, like:

"No! The red button. The red one!"
Me, groggily, "What?"
"What? ...Oh, never mind."
"What were you dreaming?"
"No idea."

When he was a kid, I guess it was worse, plus he'd move around a lot and he would sleepwalk. One time, he woke up with his feet in his closet and his head under his bed. He does still move a lot in his sleep, but I've gotten used to that.

DD has done this too, and sometimes it's very creepy. One time she walked out to where I was on my computer and was acting very odd. Once I realized she was sleepwalking, I lead her back to her room and got her back in bed, but as soon as I did, she focused on something behind me, pointed, and started screaming "What's that? What's that behind you?" with a look of pure terror on her face. I about wet myself. I spun around and there was nothing there. When I asked her what she saw, her face went completely blank and she said "Nothing" in a totally deadpan tone. But then she did the same thing a few minutes later. It was like someone was flipping a switch. I got her to lay down and started singing to her. She "fell asleep" almost instantly, but then woke up for real a few moments later and was really confused as to why I was in her room in the middle of the night singing a song.

I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I kept thinking I was going to turn around and see some monster behind me.

[Lainie]

Originally Posted by mizzie

I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I kept thinking I was going to turn around and see some monster behind me.

And she woke up fresh as a daisy, didn't she?