If you want me to get your "jokes," make them funny

[MapleLeaf]

Apparently if you write something blatantly false, offensive, or dumb on facebook, it's a joke. And if you take the time to respond, you didn't realize that the other person was "just joking", and you need to "lighten up".

Case in point #1: Someone posts on their facebook status that the Nobel Peace Prize is now officially worthless 'cause Obama won it. I responded that, while I didn't think Obama deserved to win it, I felt it was worthless when Yasser Arafat won it. He responded, "Arafat was basically a glorified terrorist. But Obama hasn't done ANYTHING yet. It's pretty close, lol".

Apparently my response, "Dude. You just suggested that Barack Obama is comparable to Yasser Arafat. I think we're done here", was dumb, 'cause I missed that this dude was joking, of course.

Case in point #2: I reposted Dara's funny Kanye West-ish line about Obama winning the Nobel Prize ("Yo, Barack, I'm gonna let you finish...") and someone posted, "Leave Kanye alone!"

I offhandedly responded that Kanye was an asshole, and his line was continuous fodder for comedy. She asked me how I knew him personally ('cause you can't know someone's an asshole unless you know them personally). So I explained why I thought he was an asshole. And of course that meant it was just a joke and I was "reading too much into it".

Case in point #3: A friend of mine's status was "Deep breath, ____________. Not all men are dumb. Just most of them."

I asked her if a particular man was making her feel this way. She said no, it was just a general feeling. So I asked her if she'd be okay with my status being, "Not all women are sluts. Just most of them." But obviously her status was a joke. My suggestion? Offensive, of course. How could I compare her joke to my sexism?



snopes = facebook + awesome - stupid

[Psihala]

snopes = facebook + awesome - stupid

Spend about a week perusing the deviantART "Complaints" forum.

~Psihala

[Dancer]

I find that I see a lot of things I would rather not know about a person who is listed as my friend on facebook. I read their status and my reaction is "Whoa, really? I am seriously thinking about dropping about 5 - 10 friends if they really go by what they post in their status'.

There is an app that automatically posts a status for the 'friend' as soon as they log in. It is funny sometimes, other times something that borders as offensive appears. It seems to be a random posting and ranges from cute to OMG!!! I've toyed with the idea to send them a private message to tell them that the status posted under their name may not be what they really agree with. I'm sure I'll get a reply that it is just a joke and I should lighten up.

[Twankydillo]

I've decided that next time anybody pulls the "can't you take a joke?" line on me I'm going to answer "can't you tell one?".

[Artemis]

::Sob:: Leave Kanye alone, okay? Just leave him alone!

[TallGeekyGirl]

Originally Posted by Artemis

::Sob:: Leave Kanye alo--

Ok, I'm gonna let you finish, but Chris Crocker had the greatest celebrity-defending breakdown of all time!

[Amigone201]

Originally Posted by MapleLeaf

Case in point #1: Someone posts on their facebook status that the Nobel Peace Prize is now officially worthless 'cause Obama won it.

What is it with people and their hard-on for this phraseology? Things don't become now and forever devalued because you disagree with the way they're handled once. And it's not even that I disagree with him, or that I like Obama (I don't, and I do). It's the phrasing that peeves me. It's like s/he's saying that once it's been done badly once, it can never be done well again.

What if next year, someone singlehandledly brokers peace between the Arabs and Israelis, and India and Pakistan, and convinces Iran to give up all their nuclear weapons, and that person wins the Nobel Peace Prize? I guess it wouldn't matter, because the prize is "now officially worthless," and once something is dead, it can never be revived.

I frequently read a film reviewer who is prone to this nonsensical hyperbole also. I don't want to name names, but *ahem!* he once proclaimed the rating system "meaningless" because of the way it was applied to one film. So if the next film that comes out, and every film after that, has a rating that you 100% agree with, is it too late?

Originally Posted by Artemis

::Sob:: Leave Kanye alone, okay? Just leave him alone!

Originally Posted by TallGeekyGirl

Ok, I'm gonna let you finish, but Chris Crocker had the greatest celebrity-defending breakdown of all time!

at you two.

[Ms. K]

Oh, yeah. I know this one well.

Let's see. My FIL decided to make a passive-aggressive snide remark, in the form of a "joke" about where I come from. As in, "Kentucky: five million people, fifteen last names."

I knew what he meant. He and MIL have always made it clear that they don't like Kentucky, and think people from Kentucky are stupid and inbred. That was a straight up jab at me, and I didn't appreciate it. FIL decided to bring it up when he called after he sent that, and laughed and asked what I thought of the joke. I told him that if it wasn't funny, and was in fact rude and insulting, it wasn't a joke. He got pissy with me, and I told him that I was tired of being insulted because of where I come from, and if he didn't like that, then don't send me any more jokes.

Yeah, they think it's hilarious to make jokes about how everybody from Kentucky is inbred, and backwards, and that we don't wear shoes, got no book learnin', and so on. I think it's rude.

[moonfall]

I was actually thinking of posting a similar rant awhile back. I know people who get mad when I just don't think their jokes are funny. Sometimes the joke is old and not funny anymore, somtimes it's offensive, sometimes I just don't think it's particularly funny. The internet makes the situation worse because without seeing someone's face or hearing their voice, you don't always know if they're joking. One of my friends called me a "fembot" when I told him his jokes about why women shouldn't be allowed to vote weren't funny (the conversation came up when I linked him a really stupid political column). Same guy told me to "lighten up" when I got mad that he slapped my butt. He told me I could slap him for it. I should have done it.

[Insensible Crier]

Oh, I hate this too.

They're the ones who made the annoying, lame, stupid joke but it's YOUR fault and YOUR lack of a sense of humor that made you not find it funny. I also hate how people think that since it's, "just a joke" it absolves them of any wrong doing. So they think they can make the most insensitive, heartless and mindless joke about any and all religions, genders, races, classes, sexual orientation, etc and wash it all away with, "It was just a joke."

[snoozn]

I have had the same experience on facebook, it seems especially common when differing political views are held. And I know I'm not objective, but conservatives are just not as funny as liberals. I think that's why they hide behind the "feminists/liberals can't take a joke" when the real problem is that the joke just isn't funny. (And it's not that I can't recognize conservative humor--there are jokes that are "funny" even though I don't agree with the sentiment behind them).

Of course someone with differing views may see the problem as being the exact opposite as what I've stated, and I'll agree that I may be totally wrong on this theory. It may just be that I only see it from this side of the fence. So, leaving that theory behind, I think people (bi-partisan here!) just hide behind "can't you take a joke" when they realize they have no rational arguments.

I've also seen comment threads on status updates where someone is clearly making a joke or being sarcastic, and other people take it seriously. And in my mind, in these cases it is the "serious" person who is in the wrong. So maybe it' really that we all just have our own sense of humor and these problems happen when there is some kind of "humor incongruity" between facebook friends.

[MidgardDragon]

I've ranted about much the same thing here and elsewhere. It's especially bad when the joke is "sarcasm". "I was being sarcastic!" Really? 'cause you had no tonal inflection since it's in the written word and there were no marking or otherwise identifying textual clues that it was sarcasm!

[pickle]

Ms K, I think that the perceived lack of intelligence isn't just reserved for Kentuckians. I've seen equal censure given to Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi, etc. But it does truly get old when people automatically subtract at least 15 IQ points from you, just because of the state that you are from. (And the accent really doesn't help.) They also make assumptions about your religion, political views, etc. Yeah.

[TallGeekyGirl]

Originally Posted by pickle

Ms K, I think that the perceived lack of intelligence isn't just reserved for Kentuckians. I've seen equal censure given to Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi, etc.

If it's south of Maryland, north of Florida, and east of New Mexico, it's populated by toothless, inbred hillbillies with backwards views on social norms and religion.

Says the Virginia girl who's been targeted by that stereotype more than once as well.

[pickle]

Originally Posted by TallGeekyGirl

If it's south of Maryland, north of Florida, and east of New Mexico, it's populated by toothless, inbred hillbillies with backwards views on social norms and religion.

Says the Virginia girl who's been targeted by that stereotype more than once as well.

Well now, I never said I wasn't toothless and inbred. Is that bad? () *disclaimer * I am not a toothless inbred hillbilly, nor do I play one that thar movin' picture box.

[Ms. K]

Originally Posted by pickle

Ms K, I think that the perceived lack of intelligence isn't just reserved for Kentuckians. I've seen equal censure given to Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi, etc. But it does truly get old when people automatically subtract at least 15 IQ points from you, just because of the state that you are from. (And the accent really doesn't help.) They also make assumptions about your religion, political views, etc. Yeah.

Most people I've met out here in California have thought my accent was "cute", and wanted to know what Kentucky was like.

My in-laws decided that being from Kentucky just made me that much more not what THEY wanted in a daughter-in-law. That just added to the reasons they gave for not liking me, to go along with being divorced, having a child, not being a virgin, being *gasp* Catholic.....being from Kentucky just gave them something they could latch on to and make snide remarks about.

I tried to "be the bigger person," but dammit, I refuse to apologize for being from Kentucky. There's nothing wrong with my home state. There's nothing wrong with me.

And there won't be any further jokes/snide comments about Kentucky since I basically told FIL to go NFBSK himself. I didn't come right out and say it, but I sure did pull a bless your heart on him, as in, "Of course you don't know any better, FIL, you haven't got any manners....bless your heart."

[snapdragonfly]

Originally Posted by Insensible Crier

Oh, I hate this too.

They're the ones who made the annoying, lame, stupid joke but it's YOUR fault and YOUR lack of a sense of humor that made you not find it funny. I also hate how people think that since it's, "just a joke" it absolves them of any wrong doing. So they think they can make the most insensitive, heartless and mindless joke about any and all religions, genders, races, classes, sexual orientation, etc and wash it all away with, "It was just a joke."

Count me as among those who don't "get" the joke because it's not a joke, it's a nasty, mean, passive aggressive, stupid remark. Oh, wait, that's a joke? okaaaaay. Except, it's not.

My dad used to say "that's about as funny as a rubber crutch in a polio ward." Which would be really not funny as polio is a tragedy, not funny, and playing jokes on someone with polio would total douchebaggery, not humor. So that's how I feel about it when people say crap that is just idiotic and mean and try to pass it off as humor. So not funny. If it were I would laugh, because I fall off the couch in tears of laughter when someone really funny (like Rowan Atkins) is doing something, you know, funny. I really don't think it's that I don't have a sense of humor. I think it's that they are just Not Clear On The Concept.

[Insensible Crier]

Originally Posted by Ms. K

Most people I've met out here in California have thought my accent was "cute", and wanted to know what Kentucky was like.

Most people treated my South Carolina accent like it was an aberration and I was constantly picked on about it, even by teachers. And if I wasn't actively picked on, as soon as they heard my accent, they'd treat me like I had the IQ of a dead hamster. As a result I put a large amount of effort into erasing my accent. It worked and now people are bloody amazed when I tell them I from South Carolina ("How come you don't have an accent?") and act like I performed a magic trick.

Originally Posted by Ms. K

My in-laws decided that being from Kentucky just made me that much more not what THEY wanted in a daughter-in-law. That just added to the reasons they gave for not liking me, to go along with being divorced, having a child, not being a virgin, being *gasp* Catholic.....being from Kentucky just gave them something they could latch on to and make snide remarks about.

I tried to "be the bigger person," but dammit, I refuse to apologize for being from Kentucky. There's nothing wrong with my home state. There's nothing wrong with me.

And there won't be any further jokes/snide comments about Kentucky since I basically told FIL to go NFBSK himself. I didn't come right out and say it, but I sure did pull a bless your heart on him, as in, "Of course you don't know any better, FIL, you haven't got any manners....bless your heart."

My brother's in-laws didn't like him because he was 1) not from Alabama, 2) not a college graduate, 3) Italian, 4) Catholic, 5) didn't look like a Calvin Klein model

When I mentioned to his mother-in-law that I lived in Pittsburgh she said, "I guess somebody has to live there." Bitch. I'd be amazed if she's even seen a picture of Pittsburgh. NFBSK you and your lame ass, unoriginal joke. I could have said something rude about Alabama but I've actually been there and think it's nice, as long as it's not in the summer.

[DawnStorm]

Originally Posted by pickle

Ms K, I think that the perceived lack of intelligence isn't just reserved for Kentuckians. I've seen equal censure given to Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi, etc. But it does truly get old when people automatically subtract at least 15 IQ points from you, just because of the state that you are from. (And the accent really doesn't help.) They also make assumptions about your religion, political views, etc. Yeah.

I get tired of hearing jokes about West Virginia and I don't even live there. It just gets tiresome after a while.
Now I have a Jeff Foxworthy (You Might be a Redneck If..)calendar on my desk at work, but I've never seen a redneck joke that specifies one region of the country, and some of them (...there were dogs in your wedding) can be certainly be applied to people in this area. Hell, I may even qualify for some of them.

Dawn--yes, whether or not my clothes get dried does depend on the weather!--Storm

[Ramblin' Dave]

Originally Posted by Ms. K

I tried to "be the bigger person," but dammit, I refuse to apologize for being from Kentucky. There's nothing wrong with my home state. There's nothing wrong with me.

My ex from Minnesota was a constant spout of anti-East Coast stereotypes, but she believed the fact that she never said those things about me was a get-out-of-jail-free card of some sort. On the rare occasion when I managed to get through to her that nasty comments about where I'm from are hurtful, she always argued, "You should be flattered that people feel okay about saying those things - it means they don't think that about you!"

After she said it to me one time too many, I finally responded, "So if I said 'overweight women are a pain in the ass and they smell funny,' would you be flattered?" She called me a name I can't repeat here and hung up the phone, but she never whined about people from the East Coast being ignorant about the rest of the country again. (This was after we'd broken up, hence my willingness to be that nasty with her.)

Incidentally, even if I agreed with her argument (and I don't), the fact is, most people who say anti-East Coast things around me probably don't realize I'm from there. I also lived in Iowa for several years and I sound like it.