Was I rude?

[jw]

On my recent trip to the South of France, we went on an excursion down over the Spanish border. When we stopped at a small seaside village, I needed to go to the loo badly, but couldn't find any public toilets. I went in to a bar, and gesticulated to the bartender who was on the phone, that I was going to the toilet. But on exiting the toilet room I was accosted by the bartender, whom I now assume was the owner and he was very, very angry.

Whilst constantly berating me, he proceeded to push me and tried to slap me, but I raised my hands and wouldn't allow him to continue. I offered to buy a drink, but I suppose by then it was too late. Then some of his customers started shouting what must have been insults at me. I gave up offering excuses as he almost shoved me on the ground out of his bar. There was a Spanish policeman up the street who turned to see what the commotion was, but ignored it.

I speak very little Spanish, other than the basics, so I've no idea how wrong I was to assume it was ok to use his toilets.
In Ireland, bars are legally obliged to allow you to use their facilities and I've not experienced any such behaviour in France or the UK either. I can't recall being caught short before, having to use toilets in bars in other countries. So was it bad manners on my behalf or was the bar owner completely out of line? What's the normal protocol elsewhere?

[ElectricBarbarella]

I don't know about this particular place, but I know here, most places have signs that say "restrooms for customers only". I couldn't just walk into a bar and be expected to be allowed to use their restroom. Most restaurants are okay with it, even if they don't like the idea. It's even easier to use a restroom in a restaurant if it is in a place that is generally a touristy type location (like the highway or Orlando).

But a good number of the bars I have ever been to all have "restroom for customers only" signs on them.

As for you being rude, I don't think you were rude. He was out of line, but the again, it could be a culture clash type thing.

[Lainie]

Hijack: When traveing by road in the US, the best place to use the restroom without buying anything is McDonald's. In most cases, you don't even have to walk past the counter to get to the restrooms. And they're usually nice and clean.

[Jay Tea]

I can't speak for Spain, but I have witnessed a few pissed off publicans/bar owners when it comes to people using their facilities, and dozens, mostly in the US/UK, with signs saying the facilities are for customers only. For myself, i've bought a drink before using a pub toilet plenty of times, regarding this as the done thing.

I can't imagine your Spanish friend had much 'else' to be annoyed at, maybe you bore a striking resemblance to somebody he barred for shagging his wife?

For future reference, i'd certainly memorise the Spanish for 'take your hands off me or i'll break your f*cking neck'

[jw]

Originally Posted by Jay Tea

mostly in the US/UK, with signs saying the facilities are for customers only.

They chance their arm with this guff here too, but as I said, legally they can't stop you, so if you persist they'll back down.

I can't imagine your Spanish friend had much 'else' to be annoyed at, maybe you bore a striking resemblance to somebody he barred for shagging his wife?

That wasn't me, that was Juan.

For future reference, i'd certainly memorise the Spanish for 'take your hands off me or i'll break your f*cking neck'

Note to self*.
Brush up on local insults before visiting bars in other countries with strange language and customs.

[Dondi]

Originally Posted by Lainie

Hijack: When traveing by road in the US, the best place to use the restroom without buying anything is McDonald's. In most cases, you don't even have to walk past the counter to get to the restrooms. And they're usually nice and clean.

\

I beg to differ. Nine out of ten times seems I'm greeted with a nice loaf floating in the bowl, wet toilet seats (and it's not water), and TP strewn all about.

[Jay Tea]

Originally Posted by jw

Note to self*.
Brush up on local insults before visiting bars in other countries with strange language and customs.

If you start man-handling me for no reason I can discern then you're going to get it, whatever your local customs may be

[Starla]

Even if the restroom is for customers only, why couldn't you pee first and order later? I think it's pretty ridiculous that the guy was yelling at you as soon as you came out, without even giving you a chance to buy something.

[Christie]

Originally Posted by Dondi

\

I beg to differ. Nine out of ten times seems I'm greeted with a nice loaf floating in the bowl, wet toilet seats (and it's not water), and TP strewn all about.

Then you've been very unlucky. On road trips through 5 different provinces and at least 8 states (including Maryland) I'd vouch for the cleanliness of McDonalds bathrooms everytime.

[Lainie]

Originally Posted by Dondi

\

I beg to differ. Nine out of ten times seems I'm greeted with a nice loaf floating in the bowl, wet toilet seats (and it's not water), and TP strewn all about.

Originally Posted by Christie

Then you've been very unlucky. On road trips through 5 different provinces and at least 8 states (including Maryland) I'd vouch for the cleanliness of McDonalds bathrooms everytime.

Ditto. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, Dondi, but in years of traveling, I don't think I've ever encountered a dirty McDonald's bathroom.

[PatYoung]

I think this was a cross-cultural perception problem.

In Spain it is considered welcoming to beat up anyone coming out of a toilet in a tavern, unless tapas are served.

[Canuckistan]

What an odd reaction. I mean, if all you did was use the bathroom, the reaction was exceptionally over the line. I'd be wary of small-town Spanish officials (police, government, whatever) -- they're generally useless. And I speak of personal experience in dealing with the Spanish bureaucracy.

Originally Posted by Lainie

Ditto. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, Dondi, but in years of traveling, I don't think I've ever encountered a dirty McDonald's bathroom.

This includes in Europe for me, as well.

[Canuckistan]

Originally Posted by PatYoung

In Spain it is considered welcoming to beat up anyone coming out of a toilet in a tavern, unless tapas are served.

Then you have to run with the bulls!

[Jay Tea]

Originally Posted by Lainie

Ditto. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, Dondi, but in years of traveling, I don't think I've ever encountered a dirty McDonald's bathroom.

Maybe it's just the Gents?

Last time I was in a McDonalds toilet it 'was' pretty clean, but it was also lit with UV, which took away from the ambiance a little

[Gayle]

Ambiance? Well, it's not like they want you to hang around or anything. You were expecting maybe violins?

There's a place here that lines the sink with ice and roses, but that's pretty fancy to me.

[Jay Tea]

Originally Posted by Gayle

Ambiance? Well, it's not like they want you to hang around or anything.

Well indeed, hence the UV. Fast food bathrooms are/were a typical haunt of intravenous drug users in the UK, UV makes it very hard to find a vein. My use of the word 'ambiance' was a wee touch of irony.

[Cyrano]

Originally Posted by jw

So was it bad manners on my behalf or was the bar owner completely out of line? What's the normal protocol elsewhere?

In every country I know, it's polite (if not obligaotry, I don't know, as I always do it) to buy a drink when you want to use the toilet. In an emergency, I'd enter the place and order on my way to the place where even the king goes alone.

But in your case, I'd say you had the misfortune to meet the rudest bartender in Spain... or maybe it was the kind of bar where they hate people who are not from the neighbourhood, or where you'd better not go if you have no business there.

Anyway, I've never seen or heard of such a brutish behavior.

[jw]

Originally Posted by Jay Tea

If you start man-handling me for no reason I can discern then you're going to get it, whatever your local customs may be

Not if you'd seen the obvious baiting and goading that the half dozen or so Spanish men were indugling in. I'm still not sure whether they were encouraging him or me to fisticuffs!

Originally Posted by PatYoung

I think this was a cross-cultural perception problem.
In Spain it is considered welcoming to beat up anyone coming out of a toilet in a tavern, unless tapas are served.

I have to assume this is a joke and another cross-cultural perception problem, because I assure you this was no joke to me. I was pretty shaken.

Originally Posted by Canuckistan

I'd be wary of small-town Spanish officials (police, government, whatever) -- they're generally useless. And I speak of personal experience in dealing with the Spanish bureaucracy.

Indeed. I'd no intention of taking this any further. The reaction of the policeman on the street corner was enough for me to know that there was little point in complaining.

[Artemis]

Can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.

Heh. If you offered to buy something after, I see no big deal.

[Chloe]

I had to pop into a pub somewhere in the West Country this summer as I was bursting. I apologized and said I would buy something on the way out; the barmaid suggested I put something in the collection box instead. Very civilized. Of course, we both spoke English.