CPAP hell

[Insensible Crier]

As I mentioned on another thread, I'm supposed to be using a CPAP machine now. But after over a week of trying, I'm about ready to give up. I just failed for the 10th time. I absolutely hate the NFBSKing thing. My problem is that my face seems to defy every damn mask there is. I can't get them to fit.

Right now I can get a mask to do things: move all over and around my face, trying to shear my nose off OR cling to my face so tight that I lose circulation to my brain.

Here's why I think I'm screwed:
- I have oily skin. I wash it before I go to bed but that just delays the inevitable.
- My head/face seems to swell during the night. I don't know if it has always done this or is the result of having something strapped to my head. But I went to sleep one night with the mask feeling okay only to wake up in the middle of the night because it felt like someone was trying to garrote me through the back of my neck.
- I move around a lot when I sleep. I'm also a light sleeper. This makes having a hose rattle around in bed with me a real PITA.

But I have to have this damn thing, for the rest of my life. My oxygen level drops significantly when I sleep, which makes heart work more, which makes my blood pressure go up, which can have very bad, long term effects for me. Not to mention the fact that I'm tired as hell all day long even though I've slept. Also I now feel like I'm committing suicide by going to sleep without it. The only other option is to try some very invasive surgeries which don't have very high chances of fixing anything.

God, I'm so screwed.