Letters you wish you could send

[effo5231]

Continued from Previous Thread

Originally Posted by Just Jocko

Is R the ex or someone else? Either way, it's a bad idea, IMHO, especially if your emotions aren't doing what your brain says they should in the situation.

Yea... R is the ex.

On one hand I'm really happy; we're not back together as husband and wife, but we ARE a couple again for all intents and purposes. And since we've agreed to not be exclusive to one another, the lying and cheating have stopped. Well, the sleeping with other people hasn't stopped, but she doesn't lie about it and we don't call it cheating because I'm free to do the same thing... And I have met a couple of other people, one of whom I've started a physical relationship with.

I guess my problem is that right now I'm dating her and this other girl, (L,) everyone knows about each other and it's all on the up and up, but me and L are pretty much only physical. We watch movies together at her place, we NSFBSK, and we get lunch every now and then. There is no "rule" that says I can't make it anymore than that if I want to... I just don't want to.

R on the other hand, is much more emotionally intimate with her partners (both me and the bartender I mentioned in my divorce thread) and I'm just having a bit of trouble dealing with that. She actually spends WAY more time with me than she does with him, just as I spend much more time with her than L, and we both consider our relationship with each other as the primary relationship, with the side partners being exactly that; side partners. But I do have trouble dealing with the fact that she and he share a much more intimate bond than I'm really comfortable with them sharing.

One thing I should add is that our relationship has improved MASSIVELY in the day to day stuff... She's not nagging me to change certain aspects of my personality that used to bother the hell out of her... and I'm finding myself being significantly less annoyed by things that used to make me want to scream. I'm not sure why... but I think alot of it is the fact that we're seeing each other a little bit less, and when we are together, we're both usually less stressed than we used to be. Maybe variety was all our relationship really needed to make it work.

All of this sounds bizarre I'm sure... It FEELS bizarre sometimes, but I love her and I want to maintain what we have. I just need to get used to the changes.

[Kitsune27]

Dear other coven,
I will be at Mabon on Saturday, because it's M's going away party and I can't afford to go to the hot springs for the girlie party.
However:
* I feel that it's damn tacky to take the food collection that normally goes to the local food bank and give it to T's dad because he's "going through hard times" right now. Every "hard time" I've ever heard of, it's because of his own damn doing-like the purchases of expensive motorcycles, instead of paying bills or rent. It wasn't even his own money half the time-it was T's mom's, who was working her butt off to earn. I suspect this and the emotional abuse prompted her to divorce him, sending him on this spiral of "hard times.
*Speaking of food, thanks for pretty much saying I can't come unless I bring enough food to feed I have no idea how many people. R and K, my priest and priestess, offered to bring enough to cover me so I can at least get a decent meal, but sorry that apparently isn't good enough.
*I WILL NOT circle with you. Period.
I don't trust you because of all the back talking that you do. It may seem harsh, but it's true. I know that you will hold it against me, and gossip about it, but so be it. I hope you will at least hold it in until later, rather than poison M's day.
and B-saying that YOU don't trust circling with us because "we don't act like a proper coven?"
That's freaking rich coming from you, Mr. "I'm going to pull the same thing that got F kicked out, but it's okay because it was to build up her self esteem and it's not my fault it didn't work."
*S-nice way to piss off R, K, and J by giving them roles in the ritual without letting them know. You know good and well that J has almost 0 access to his personal email, so he probably wouldn't have know you wrote him in until he showed up "late" to the run through.
Hope it got resolved okay, but so help me, if you go all drama llama on Saturday, I will slap you silly.
*T, You made pathetic attempts to befriend me and put the blame on me when they failed-I would have loved to do things with you, but never wanted to do things that were free, so I couldn't go.
Then I made the mistake of dating F, who was your "back up buddy" when your husband traveled for work-you know, that thing that you couldn't do because you were "sick" (I am sorry that you turned out to have ulcerative colitus, but a lot of those sick days seemed to end up with you at the beach or hot springs).
The fact that you felt the need to "warn him" about my "faking" the blood clots in my leg, and that you needed to relate the gruesome details of what he and (other) M did, when it affected me only marginally spoke volumes.
And I put up with you banning me from circling because I knew what I did was wrong, and because you said I could still attend Sabbats as a visitor.
Imagine my surprise when I tried to attend a Sabbat and the only people who would even look at me were J, AJ, K and R.
And yet I still bled from the throat to please you, and did everything that I was asked to win back your trust.
Everything.
I have to ask-would I ever have been good enough to come back ?
It was two years before I had a coven again, and it as only because R,K, J, K and AJ were allowed to start their own coven. And (other)J wound up joining us because of you.
I don't like you. You create drama where there is none, and you make existing drama worse.
But I will be polite to you because I have to for M's sake. Don't mistake it for friendship, because it will never happen again.
*If you insist on calling me by my craft name, I will not answer you.
I am not in your coven, I do not like using my craft name for every day because I feel it cheapens it, and I have a name that my parents gave me.
It's Jennifer, Jenna if you've known me since college(and Jenna-benna if you are a dork ).
On that same note, if I don't call you by your craft name, it's probably because I don't know it anymore. I'm not part of you inner circle anymore, so I don't know when you change it or what it has been changed to.
I almost didn't come because I had no idea who it was that was moving to England because of the above mentioned issue.
Also, if I don't call you by your preferred name, don't be a raging twit about it. All you have to do is remind me how you'd like to be addressed and I will do so for the remainder of my time there.
* Rand K, thank you for offering to keep me sane. Hopefully you can get the ritual issue fixed.
~Jenna-not my craft name.

[Magdalene]

To coattail on yours, Kitsune....

Dear J,

I am happy about Mabon coming up, but no, I really don't care to join your rituals if I can avoid it. One, I'm not crazy about some of your other friends, and two, all these 'themes' you keep trying to incorporate into it makes it too 'fluffy bunny' for my taste.

Not to mention, I still have my doubts that you're truly pagan/wiccan/whatever.....I've seen you switch religions at the drop of a hat in the past.

Regards,
Magdalene

***************************

Dear Kitsune,

Originally Posted by Kitsune27

And yet I still bled from the throat to please you

Ummm, that has me rather worried....?

Magdalene

[katikate]

Inspired by the pagan threads....

Dear R~

I love you. I think you are one of my closest and dearest friends. You helped bring me and JC together, you're there whenever I need you just as I am for you.

However.

I have no interest in becoming a witch. None. Seriously, dont become the thing you despise in pCms-pushy about your religion when you think someone is meant to be.

If you bring it up again, I'm going to have to let JC step in and tell you to stop.

Still love you.

~Katikate

[Banrion]

Dear Big Bosses,

Seriously is the new COO even 30 yet?

Just Wondering,
The Peon

Dear Self,
Doesn't matter how cute he is, he is still your boss's boss's boss. Guess not all super-exec's are old fogies. At least those long boring all-day meetings will have a new distraction.

Your rational side.

[Cinnamon]

Originally Posted by katikate

Inspired by the pagan threads....

Dear R~

I love you. I think you are one of my closest and dearest friends. You helped bring me and JC together, you're there whenever I need you just as I am for you.

However.

I have no interest in becoming a witch. None. Seriously, dont become the thing you despise in pCms-pushy about your religion when you think someone is meant to be.

If you bring it up again, I'm going to have to let JC step in and tell you to stop.

Still love you.

~Katikate

That's interesting. Every single book I've read on Wicca (and I've been reading a lot of late) says they don't proselytise. Does R know this, do you think?

[Bettie Page Turner]

Originally Posted by katikate

Dear R~
snip- If you bring it up again, I'm going to have to let JC step in and tell you to stop.

bolding mine

Erm...wha? Let JC step in? I heartily suggest you don your big girl panties and stompin' boots and step in yourself. Move in among 'em and mix with 'em, dear. You don't need a man to step in for you. After all, you have goat poo and a match.
Bettie

[katikate]

Originally Posted by Bettie Page Turner

bolding mine

Erm...wha? Let JC step in? I heartily suggest you don your big girl panties and stompin' boots and step in yourself. Move in among 'em and mix with 'em, dear. You don't need a man to step in for you. After all, you have goat poo and a match.
Bettie

Oh I have been stepping up don't worry. I have told her flat out I don't want to be a witch. I onlyeant that about Jc becUse I've been asking him not to say anything and let me handle it. But she's not getting it. And since Jc is in the coven, maybe she will take it more seriously from him.

I wear my big girl panties thankyouverymuch!

[glass papaya]

Dear Extremely Friendly Stray Grey Skinny Cat With Snow White Feet,

I will stop looking out the window to see if you are in my yard anymore. I will not feed you when I see you in my yard anymore. I will not pet you when I feed you, and I will not call you Boots when I pet you anymore. Ummm...yeah.

glass "big old softie" papaya

[Minstrel]

Dear self,

Yes, you are going back to A-B for homecoming. You booked the hotel and it's nonrefundable, so you're going. You are not going to flake out and you are not going to panic. Even if you see R's parents, so what? It's not like you don't deal with awkward social moments every day with CG and his cronies. So you're going and it's going to be fun. It's okay that you're skipping the alumni banquet and just going to the less formal stuff. But you are going and you're not going to have a social freakout. You know these people already.

Just have on hand some good ways to change the subject in case political discussion breaks out. And do try to find something interesting to do with your hair before then.

With tough love,
The Self

[LizzyBean]

Dear gentleman I saw on the side of the road,

I hope you're okay. I'm still feeling guilty for not stopping to see if you needed help.

The gal in the red Escort.


He was an older man, probably 70's at least, walking up the on ramp in the grassy area. I swung back around but I didn't see him. I hope he's okay.

[Magdalene]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon

That's interesting. Every single book I've read on Wicca (and I've been reading a lot of late) says they don't proselytise. Does R know this, do you think?

Cinnamon,

Since Wicca isn't really an organized religion, then no, there's no official proselytizing going on in the way that Christians might have.

However, my experience has been there's been those who 'find the path' and then doing the (ahem) "More Catholic than the Pope" bit....where they talk on and on about about their newfound faith and try to get others involved too. My friend J was one of those, and at times, still is. She's made it her mission to 'bring me out of the closet', not understand that I've kind of reached a point of "Eh, I don't care. Whatever." Meaning, if somebody asks, I'll tell them, but I don't really care much whether people know or not. I figure I've said or done enough things that most people have either picked up, or not, and don't feel the need to beat 'em over the head with it.

Magdalene

[Kitsune27]

Originally Posted by Magdalene

Ummm, that has me rather worried....?

Magdalene

Not literally silly (that makes the working knife all sticky).
I just used it to mean that I went above and beyond.
More confusingly, I also use 'I'd rather bleed from the throat" to express distaste with doing something.

Originally Posted by glass papaya

Dear Extremely Friendly Stray Grey Skinny Cat With Snow White Feet,

I will stop looking out the window to see if you are in my yard anymore. I will not feed you when I see you in my yard anymore. I will not pet you when I feed you, and I will not call you Boots when I pet you anymore. Ummm...yeah.

glass "big old softie" papaya

Hee, sucker!
I do the same thing with the wandering kitties here.
I still worry about Little Cross-Eyed Kitty and Parking Lot Kitty when I haven't seen them (although I think Little Cross-eyed Kitty got a home and moved when his people did).

Originally Posted by Magdalene

Cinnamon,

Since Wicca isn't really an organized religion, then no, there's no official proselytizing going on in the way that Christians might have.

However, my experience has been there's been those who 'find the path' and then doing the (ahem) "More Catholic than the Pope" bit....where they talk on and on about about their newfound faith and try to get others involved too. My friend J was one of those, and at times, still is. She's made it her mission to 'bring me out of the closet', not understand that I've kind of reached a point of "Eh, I don't care. Whatever." Meaning, if somebody asks, I'll tell them, but I don't really care much whether people know or not. I figure I've said or done enough things that most people have either picked up, or not, and don't feel the need to beat 'em over the head with it.

Magdalene

There's not official organization, but there are traditions, like Alexandrian, Gardenerian, Rosicrution, etc. that lays down ways of decorum (for lack of a better word) within a coven (I also don't know if I spelled them right either).
Part of the "Wicca is so awesome and everyone needs to experience it" is an issue I have with the other coven.
Not all of them, mind you, but a great number will do anything they can to get people to join, and rarely take no for an answer.
And of course, they also play the "witchier than thou" a great deal.
My coven get such guff about doing one thing that may or may not be Alexandrian tradition, to the point that we can't call ourselves Alexandrian anymore (by decree of T of course, as she is our Head Priestess).
But THEY can pull in Sufi teachings if they want, or use other names for the Lord and Lady, and that's okay.
It gets very tiring very fast.

[Cat Grey]

Originally Posted by Kitsune27

There's not official organization, but there are traditions, like Alexandrian, Gardenerian, Rosicrution, etc. that lays down ways of decorum (for lack of a better word) within a coven (I also don't know if I spelled them right either).

Part of the "Wicca is so awesome and everyone needs to experience it" is an issue I have with the other coven.

Not all of them, mind you, but a great number will do anything they can to get people to join, and rarely take no for an answer.

And of course, they also play the "witchier than thou" a great deal. My coven get such guff about doing one thing that may or may not be Alexandrian tradition, to the point that we can't call ourselves Alexandrian anymore (by decree of T of course, as she is our Head Priestess). But THEY can pull in Sufi teachings if they want, or use other names for the Lord and Lady, and that's okay.

It gets very tiring very fast.

I'm still confused. What's to stop you from splitting off completely? T will tell people you're not real Wiccans? So what? (In my experience, that's likely to affect her more than it will you, though there are always exceptions.) Or is there enough of a hierarchy in the Alexandrian tradition that you could actually be excommunicated? (In which case, why not just say, "We're Wiccans, working mostly out of the Alexandrian tradition.")

I'm not intimately familiar with any of the more formal Wiccan traditions - I haven't been around the neo-pagan community in years, and when I was it was mostly with a bunch of Celtic reconstructionists - but my general impression of Wiccans (and neo-pagans in general) was that the whole thing was... free-form? ...enough that when someone got fed up, they just went their own way. There weren't any sort of enforcement mechanisms to prevent it.

And, on a lighter note:
This seems strangely appropriate. (Safe for work, unless your manager can see your screen.)

Cat "stirring the cauldron" Grey

[Kitsune27]

Originally Posted by Cat Grey

I'm still confused. What's to stop you from splitting off completely? T will tell people you're not real Wiccans? So what? (In my experience, that's likely to affect her more than it will you, though there are always exceptions.) Or is there enough of a hierarchy in the Alexandrian tradition that you could actually be excommunicated? (In which case, why not just say, "We're Wiccans, working mostly out of the Alexandrian tradition.")

I'm not intimately familiar with any of the more formal Wiccan traditions - I haven't been around the neo-pagan community in years, and when I was it was mostly with a bunch of Celtic reconstructionists - but my general impression of Wiccans (and neo-pagans in general) was that the whole thing was... free-form? ...enough that when someone got fed up, they just went their own way. There weren't any sort of enforcement mechanisms to prevent it.

And, on a lighter note:
This seems strangely appropriate. (Safe for work, unless your manager can see your screen.)

Cat "stirring the cauldron" Grey

I loved that arc in Something Positive.
As for breaking off with the other coven, it's...complicated.
Easiest way to explain is because we hived off of the main coven, we've got "heart ties" to them, so we're always going to be connected in some way.
If our coven breaks clean, we in essence, lose our community and our connection to the the tradition, and would have to start at ground zero, which we don't want to do because we've worked our asses off to get where we are and don't want to lose that.
We (and I) like the tradition, just not some of the practitioners.
We have been trying to figure put what we can do to put some more distance between us and them with out completely severing ourselves, but I'm not privy to the details.

[Cat Grey]

Well, I'm still not entirely sure I understand how breaking off could really isolate you from the tradition-at-large, but I can certainly see where personal connections (friendships and such) would complicate the situation more than a little.

...Good luck, then. I hope your group finds a workable solution.

Cat "No new tale to tell" Grey

[A Turtle Named Mack]

Dear self,

Please remember to make sure your mug is not half-full of coffee before pouring tea into it.

ATNM

[Kitsune27]

Originally Posted by Cat Grey

Well, I'm still not entirely sure I understand how breaking off could really isolate you from the tradition-at-large, but I can certainly see where personal connections (friendships and such) would complicate the situation more than a little.

...Good luck, then. I hope your group finds a workable solution.

Cat "No new tale to tell" Grey

It really is hard to explain without giving away secrets and delving into the woo-woo.
Thanks for the well wishes.

[Magdalene]

Dear Dazzle and Summer,

You two are really working my nerves this week, and I'm just really fed up right now.

First off, I'm on a budget. The dog bed that you two so happily ripped apart? Cost me $30 that I was scraping for. You're not getting another one anytime soon.

Dazzle--I didn't need you tearing up the carpet.

Summer--I'm really sick of you stepping on my feet. Back off.

Dazzle--last straw of the day, you somehow losing your dog tags.

I love you both, but whatever's gotten into you two this week needs to stop RIGHT NOW.

Annoyed
The Human Mama

[Kitsune27]

Dear Dazzle and Summer,
Teh ebil mind control is wearing off!
Do something friggin' cute to get her under control again!
~The human who got indoctrinated at the vets.