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  #1  
Old 11 July 2009, 02:28 AM
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Icon97 1st grade proverbs

Already posted on the old board.

Comment: A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.
She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known
proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's
hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight
may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are
first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!


1.
Don't change horses
until they stop running.

2.
Strike while the
bug is close.

3.
It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.

4.
Never underestimate the power of
termites.

5.
You can lead a horse to water but
How?

6.
Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.

7.
No news is
impossible

8.
A miss is as good as a
Mr.

9.
You can't teach an old dog new
Math

10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.

11.
Love all, trust
Me.

12.
The pen is mightier than the
pigs.

13.
An idle mind is
the best way to relax.

14.
Where there's smoke there's
pollution.

15.
Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.

16.
A penny saved is
not much.

17.
Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.

18.
Don't put off till tomorrow what
you put on to go to bed.

19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
You have to blow your nose.

20.
There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.

21.
Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.

22.
If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.

23.
You get out of something only what you

See in the picture on the box

24.
When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.

25.
A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.


And the WINNER and last one!

26.
Better late than
Pregnant
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  #2  
Old 11 July 2009, 02:15 PM
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MapleLeaf MapleLeaf is offline
 
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Quote:
26.
Better late than
Pregnant
Way to kill any lingering sense of believeablilty.
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  #3  
Old 13 July 2009, 04:24 PM
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Dr. Winston O'Boogie Dr. Winston O'Boogie is offline
 
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Actually, I could see this as coming from a bunch of 1st graders. I seriously doubt that this "assignment" was given one-proverb-per-child and this was the result; it would be more like all the kids got all of the proverbs, and the best answers were put together, or all of the kids for 5 years got all of the proverbs and the best were put together.

My mother was a grade school teacher, and one year they put together a cookbook (I believe it was 1st graders; it was definitely lower grades). Now, it wouldn't do to have the kids go home and get their favorite recipes from their parents; they asked them to just write down how they thought it was cooked. You ended up with things like "add one cup of salt", "put oven on at 50 degrees for 15 hours", etc. The results were sent home. Very very funny.
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  #4  
Old 07 September 2010, 07:02 AM
Katerina
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MapleLeaf View Post
Way to kill any lingering sense of believeablilty.
Agreed. Even first-graders with some knowledge of the facts of life are probably not going to associate delinquent periods with pregnancy. I am a little dubious on the Stevie Wonder one, too.
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  #5  
Old 07 September 2010, 10:06 AM
Jaime Vargas Jaime Vargas is offline
 
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I am too, but because Stevie Wonder is not as relevant today. I mean, when I was in school, everybody would have associated blindness with Stevie Wonder, so this feels more like something the author remembers from, or would have said in, his/her school days.
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  #6  
Old 20 July 2011, 03:13 PM
Graywriter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaime Vargas View Post
I am too, but because Stevie Wonder is not as relevant today. I mean, when I was in school, everybody would have associated blindness with Stevie Wonder...
Don't forget that these things have often been in circulation for decades, since the earliest days of message boards and even earlier as faxed jokes.
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  #7  
Old 03 September 2011, 02:59 AM
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I don't know about schoolkids, but there is a show on BBC Radio 4 in which (among other things) a bunch of old comedians get given the beginnings of proverbs and come up with their own endings. These mostly sound like they could be from that, and I'm almost certain Barry Cryer came out with that last one on the show. Other examples:

There's nowt as queer as
Julian Clary.

Too many cooks
on television.
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  #8  
Old 14 February 2012, 01:12 AM
Not R
 
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Default previously published

This list was published without attribution in "Inspirational Wit and Wisdom from the Internet, Volume One" by Dave Balsiger and Chris Strong in 2006. Many of them were in a 2004 online collection "You can teach an old dog new adages" by Bob Karolevitz, with no silliness about being produced by first-graders. He says: "Through the years Išve collected new versions of old adages. Some I even thought up myself."
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  #9  
Old 15 February 2012, 12:30 AM
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In a similar vein, my favorite re- worked advice was always "Don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. If they get mad you're a mile away, and, hey, you've got their shoes."
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Old 15 February 2012, 04:05 AM
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I have to agree while I can except some of them coming from first graders most of them seem too witty. They only way I can see some of them as coming from this age group is if they were repeating a joke they have heard an adult saying without realising that they are not the real proverb.
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  #11  
Old 15 February 2012, 09:23 AM
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Mister Ed

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
The other end is where the enemy soldiers are hiding.
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  #12  
Old 15 February 2012, 12:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NobodyAtAll View Post
In a similar vein, my favorite re- worked advice was always "Don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. If they get mad you're a mile away, and, hey, you've got their shoes."
I'm almost positive that's from SNL's "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" - some pretty funny stuff in there.

ETA:Oh, and Not R - welcome to the boards, and a nice bit of detective work there!
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  #13  
Old 15 February 2012, 01:33 PM
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One of my colleagues always used to say "he who laughs last .... didn't get the joke"
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  #14  
Old 29 May 2012, 11:50 PM
Right U R Ken Right U R Ken is offline
 
 
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Anyone else remember Johnny Carson doing these? I would think the early 80's?

Anyone else willing to admitt they only know about half of these and would have given the same answers as the kids to the other half?
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