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  #1  
Old 16 March 2009, 05:21 PM
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hambubba hambubba is offline
 
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Default Children's Bill of Rights (Poem)

Poem to MOM




My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D."

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D .
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. "

I said "No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?"

Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers,
Or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents
someday OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH ...I love this One!! !

MOM (Mean Old Mother.)
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  #2  
Old 16 March 2009, 05:26 PM
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AnglRdr AnglRdr is offline
 
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It isn't the fact that the child was a teenager that is the problem; it's really the fact that you are raising a maroon.
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  #3  
Old 16 March 2009, 05:29 PM
Ryda Wong, EBfCo. Ryda Wong, EBfCo. is offline
 
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Hmmm. So the writer of this glurge believes that beating your kid and forcing religion down their throats are appropriate parenting techniques?
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  #4  
Old 16 March 2009, 05:45 PM
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Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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Who watches anything on a VCR anymore?
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  #5  
Old 16 March 2009, 06:09 PM
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BringTheNoise BringTheNoise is offline
 
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To paraphrase:

Kid: "I did Civics today, but I wasn't paying attention, so here's a list of baseless demands!"
Mom: "As punishment for this minor infraction, I'm going to get as close to child abuse as the law allows, because I can!"

Inspiring, I'm sure you'll agree.
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  #6  
Old 16 March 2009, 06:48 PM
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Mama Duck Mama Duck is offline
 
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He's clearly a teenager and you're still having to pack his lunch and cook all his meals? And apparently you haven't taught him anything about family budgets. You get no points for raising a mama's boy.

All that said, I have seen a "Children's Bill of Rights". But it concerned itself more with "right to an education" and "stable and loving home", clean clothes, enough food.That sort of thing. Found it
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  #7  
Old 16 March 2009, 06:51 PM
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lyra_silvertongue lyra_silvertongue is offline
 
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Quote:
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
I'm pretty sure that almost every state in the US requires one to be 18 (or have parental permission) before getting pierced or tattooed. So either you weren't listening well in class or your teacher is a liar.
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  #8  
Old 16 March 2009, 07:37 PM
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Fantine Fantine is offline
 
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So the point is that the OP mom is raising a spoiled brat, right? (Seriously, how many kids have a jet ski?)

Further, I never got an allowance as child, but most of my friends who did said they were expected to do certain household chores and might not get the allowance if they misbehaved.

I think the kid and his mother are both maroons. Also, they speak in rhyme, and that's just weird.
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  #9  
Old 16 March 2009, 10:52 PM
Natalie Natalie is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lyra_silvertongue View Post
I'm pretty sure that almost every state in the US requires one to be 18 (or have parental permission) before getting pierced or tattooed. So either you weren't listening well in class or your teacher is a liar.
Not usually for ear piercings. The state is sitting idly by while our boys catch teh ghey through ear piercings!
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  #10  
Old 16 March 2009, 10:57 PM
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Barbara Barbara is offline
 
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Whalephant

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo. View Post
Hmmm. So the writer of this glurge believes that beating your kid and forcing religion down their throats are appropriate parenting techniques?
It worked for centuries, didn't it?
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  #11  
Old 16 March 2009, 11:25 PM
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lynnejanet lynnejanet is offline
 
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo. View Post
Hmmm. So the writer of this glurge believes that beating your kid and forcing religion down their throats are appropriate parenting techniques?
Well, you have to do something to combat the evil librul athiest religion they get learned in them public schools.
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  #12  
Old 17 March 2009, 02:11 AM
Saint James Saint James is offline
 
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The sick thing about this is that children do have some rights. Although they loosely acknowledge some of them (freedom from abuse and neglect, essentially freedom of their own thoughts - though not from indoctrination), it seems to continue to reinforce the pCm view of children as property.

Of course, the whole glurge is nonsense, teachers practice en loco parentis enough not to start giving kids wild ideas, and tend to be fairly knowledgeable (most anyway).

So this basically comes down to the implication of how dare the state tell my kids they have a right not to be abused or neglected.
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  #13  
Old 17 March 2009, 10:55 AM
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Miki Fantastico Miki Fantastico is offline
 
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Quote:
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
Why is this bit in the poem? Doesn't it rather diminish the point that the kid is just making up ridiculous rights for himself? These ones seem OK to me.
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  #14  
Old 17 March 2009, 11:30 AM
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JoeBentley JoeBentley is offline
 
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I don't even seen the kid in the OP to be particularly spoiled. Basically outside of the backhanded and out of left field comment about him having a Jet-ski, all he's demanding is to not be beaten and to have basic right to his own thoughts and opinions.

But yeah the whole thing just reeks of the "Child as Property" bullshit.
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  #15  
Old 17 March 2009, 12:58 PM
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BringTheNoise BringTheNoise is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miki Fantastico View Post
Why is this bit in the poem? Doesn't it rather diminish the point that the kid is just making up ridiculous rights for himself? These ones seem OK to me.
To you, maybe. To the pCm asshats passing this around as divine wisdom, not so much.
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  #16  
Old 17 March 2009, 05:27 PM
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lyra_silvertongue lyra_silvertongue is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie View Post
Not usually for ear piercings. The state is sitting idly by while our boys catch teh ghey through ear piercings!
I used to work at Claire's and we always had the 18/parent's permission rule. Although now that I think about it it may have been more company policy than state law.
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  #17  
Old 17 March 2009, 08:04 PM
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smittykins smittykins is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lyra_silvertongue View Post
I used to work at Claire's and we always had the 18/parent's permission rule. Although now that I think about it it may have been more company policy than state law.
In New York, tattooing someone under 18 is illegal(even with parental consent), and I'm pretty sure we still have the under 18/parental consent law on ear piercing, but I don't know if body piercing is a whole 'nother animal.

http://www.health.state.ny.us/community/body_art/
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  #18  
Old 18 March 2009, 03:35 AM
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TrishDaDish TrishDaDish is offline
 
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Location: Portsmouth, RI
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miki Fantastico View Post
Why is this bit in the poem? Doesn't it rather diminish the point that the kid is just making up ridiculous rights for himself? These ones seem OK to me.
Because the kid learned this at school, and everyone knows religion is banennated from schools due to weird, evil hippie-types. The whole world is going to hell because there's no God in school!!!!!! Next thing you know, they want earrings and allowences!!!! Everything's gone to hell ever since...

*Tackled, put in a straightjacket*
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  #19  
Old 18 March 2009, 07:49 AM
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Chinchy Chinchy is offline
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canuckistan View Post
Who watches anything on a VCR anymore?
I actually remember hearing this poem about 12 or 13 years ago, so I suppose that would explain the VCR reference. IIRC, ChinchMom was listening to Dr. Laura Schlessinger's advice show on the radio, and Dr. Laura read the poem on-air. Course, since I was five or six at the time, I didn't understand it much, and I honestly didn't think I'd ever hear it again!

Quote:
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
[Snip]
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. "
...The guy's 15 or 16-years-old and STILL getting spanked by Mom? That made me giggle, but...only 'cause I think it sounds a bit dirty.

Quote:
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.
[Snip]
He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
[Snip]
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
[Snip]
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
So, kid doesn't make his own lunch, has his own TV and VCR, trendy clothes, an allowance, a jet ski, a dirt bike, and roller blades...and he comes home bitching to Mom and making demands? While that sounds a lot like a bunch of people I went to school with back in the day (including, oddly enough, the jet ski part), I'm gonna have to quote Tulio from The Road to El Dorado: "You know that little voice people have that tells them to quit when they're ahead? You don't have one!"
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