Getting 'Reno-Vated': The 'ring' of truth

[snopes]

"Traditionally, divorcees coming to Reno to take advantage of the city's easy divorce laws threw their wedding rings into the river," according to the Reno Gazette-Journal's "Nevada Living" supplement (April 2001). "The trend may have started -- or been fueled by -- a scene in the 1961 film 'Misfits' in which Marilyn Monroe considered tossing her ring into the Truckee."

Some writers argue that ring tossing in what was once known as "The Divorce Capital of the World" is a myth. Others claim the legendary ritual began as a publicity stunt that was imitated by divorcees. People have been debating for years whether dropping wedding rings into the Truckee River is a long-standing tradition. Any trend started long before "The Misfits," the short story and screenplay written by playwright Arthur Miller following his Reno divorce in 1956 and subsequent marriage to Marilyn Monroe.

http://www.rgj.com/article/20081228/.../NEIGHBORHOODS

[Elkhound]

Wouldn't going to the nearest pawnshop or goldsmith be more practical?

[Kallah]

Originally Posted by Elkhound

Wouldn't going to the nearest pawnshop or goldsmith be more practical?

I've always wondered about that, too. I can totally understand wanting to rid oneself of (one of) the most tangible symbols of a failed relationship, but wouldn't it be gone either way? The same thing goes for all those turned-down hopefuls in movies and books (and perhaps real life), who fling away the diamond ring that their intended denied. Why not try and return the ring to the jeweler, and if they don't have a warranty or returns policy, at least you can sell the thing on eBay or whatnot and get a little of your money back.

[Latiam]

Originally Posted by Kallah

I've always wondered about that, too. I can totally understand wanting to rid oneself of (one of) the most tangible symbols of a failed relationship, but wouldn't it be gone either way? The same thing goes for all those turned-down hopefuls in movies and books (and perhaps real life), who fling away the diamond ring that their intended denied. Why not try and return the ring to the jeweler, and if they don't have a warranty or returns policy, at least you can sell the thing on eBay or whatnot and get a little of your money back.

I thing it's more a symbolic and mental thing.

[Beachlife!]

Originally Posted by Latiam

I thing it's more a symbolic and mental thing.

I think it's more of a doesn't happen thing, but people have this romantic ideal of throwing the ring away.

The ring from my 13 year marriage is somewhere in my house, lord only knows where. Pretty much every divorced person I've talked to has a similar situation or they've sold it for scrap. I have never met anyone who actually through their ring away.

[Skeptic]

Doesn't a woman have a legal right to keep an engagement ring, even if the wedding doesn't take place.

[Latiam]

I thought it was only if it did. Unless it was also a gift, like for Christmas or your birthday, because gifts are deemed property of the person who receives them.

[snopes]

I can totally understand wanting to rid oneself of (one of) the most tangible symbols of a failed relationship, but wouldn't it be gone either way?

By the same token, shouldn't it be okay for a guy to give his fiancée an engagement ring he bought for a previous girlfriend rather than purchasing a new one especially for her? She gets a ring either way ...

[Lainie]

I pawned my wedding and engagement rings, and the diamond earrings my former husband gave me. I didn't get much for them, but it was more than nothing, and it was freeing to have them out of my house. Had they been either exceptional stones, and had my financial situation been better, I might have had the diamonds re-set. And if they'd been family heirlooms, I would have returned them. The thought of throwing them away never occurred to me, although I did throw away some less valuable things he gave me.

[lord_feldon]

Originally Posted by Skeptic

Doesn't a woman have a legal right to keep an engagement ring, even if the wedding doesn't take place.

AFAIK, it depends on the jurisdiction.

[Roadie]

Originally Posted by Beachlife!

I have never met anyone who actually through their ring away.

Today's your lucky day, then!

I hucked my first engagement ring out the car window in the middle of an argument with my SO. He couldn't find it, and eventually bought me another after we patched it all up. I now wear his wedding ring on my thumb as a reminder of where I've been, and that mistakes of the past create who I am today. I paid way too much for that ring - monetarily and emotionally - to huck it in the Truckee.

[KaiTheInvader]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Today's your lucky day, then!

I hucked my first engagement ring out the car window in the middle of an argument with my SO. He couldn't find it, and eventually bought me another after we patched it all up. I now wear his wedding ring on my thumb as a reminder of where I've been, and that mistakes of the past create who I am today. I paid way too much for that ring - monetarily and emotionally - to huck it in the Truckee.

same thing with mine... he threw both my class ring (that I had given to him as a sort of pre-engagement ring) and his wedding ring that we got in st. augustine out of his car window after an argument. replacing the wedding ring gave us an excuse to have another date trip to st. augustine, but I don't even know where to begin replacing my class ring. I didn't think of that as counting though, since we did make up.

[Horse Chestnut]

Originally Posted by snopes

By the same token, shouldn't it be okay for a guy to give his fiancée an engagement ring he bought for a previous girlfriend rather than purchasing a new one especially for her? She gets a ring either way ...

Technically he could, although it might be better to take the ring back and exchange it for another.

My niece actually kept her engagement ring - against advice - and when another man proposed to her, she brought it back out and popped it back on. The guy did have less money than the former boyfriend, but why he ever agreed to that I'll never know.

[DemonWolf]

Originally Posted by Skeptic

Doesn't a woman have a legal right to keep an engagement ring, even if the wedding doesn't take place.

Depends on the jurisdiction as well as the circumstances. If she cancelled the wedding, she should return the ring. If he did, the gift stands.

[Don Enrico]

Originally Posted by Skeptic

Doesn't a woman have a legal right to keep an engagement ring, even if the wedding doesn't take place.

For what it's worth, under German law (art. 1301 BGB), both fiancees have the right to reclaim everything they gave the other party as a sign of or because of the engagement when said engagement is cancelled.

Don Enrico

[Loyhargil]

Originally Posted by Skeptic

Doesn't a woman have a legal right to keep an engagement ring, even if the wedding doesn't take place.

Seems like in law school, we were told it was a "conditional gift." If the condition of marriage wasn't met, then the ring would have to be returned. But this would have been 13 years ago, and I don't practice in that area, so I have no idea if I'm having a faulty memory on that topic.

Originally posted by Lainie:

Had they been either exceptional stones, and had my financial situation been better, I might have had the diamonds re-set....

I held onto the ring from my first marriage, and that's what I intend to do with the diamond - re-set it into a right hand ring. Then I intend to give that ring to my daughter as a kind of double-symbol: She's the diamond that came out of our marriage, and as a right hand ring, her life is not dependent on any man - she should remember to marry because she wants to, and not because she feels like maybe she should.

The thought of throwing them away never occurred to me, although I did throw away some less valuable things he gave me.

Never occurred to me, either. Although I did have great fun taking a hammer to the cake plate that the woman he was banging while we were in marriage counselling had given us as a wedding present.