Awww

I searched to see if anyone made a thread about this particular post before but it failed to yield any results.


There was once a guy named Jack who
had a
girlfriend
named
Ashley.

Ashley was the most popular girl in school.
The three most
popular
guys were
Tom, Jack, and Marcus. Ashley
thought of
Jack as
OKAY,
but
she REALLy
liked Marcus. Marcus liked Ashley also.
Well of
course
he
did, everyone
did!

Marcus and Jack were worst enemies.
Marcus tried to
steal
Ashley away
everytime he had a chance to. One day,
Marcus asked
Ashley
if
she wanted
to
go to the movies. Jack heard
everything....what
movie
theatre
and what
time.

Jack approached the movies that night
and
followed Ashley
and
Marcus.
Jack sat right behind them. he
watched them
get close
to
each
other and
kiss....not only kiss, but practically get it
on in the
theatre.
Marcus
told ashley "Do you want to come to my
place and
skip this
boring
movie?" She
replied "hell yeah."

Jack had peeked through Marcus'
window.
Ashely and
him
were
messing
around and then they had sex.
Jack watched the whole
thing.

The next day at school Jack wasn't
there. For
the next
few
days Jack
wasn't there. A week later his mother
found him in
his
closet
dead... he
commited suicide because he had loved
Ashley so
much.
Next
to
Jack's dead
body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Ashley, I
watched you
at the
movie
and at
Marcus' house and I will continue to
watch you.
I never
thought you
would
do something like this to me. I really
loved you
ashley. I
died
for you just
like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Jack

Please foward this or Jack will
haunt
you and try
to kill you because he wants everyone to
know
about
Marcus.

Thank you.


My best friend's sister posted this gem on my myspace (under the title "Awww" of course) a few days ago. Normally crappy posts like this make me confused and angry, but I was actually laughing when they threw in that Jesus reference for absolutely no reason. I may not be the most theistically knowledgeable, but I am fairly certain the bible doesn't state that Jesus killed himself in a closet because his first girlfriend cheated on him . Maybe I skipped that part.


These glurges seem to be getting more and more insane.