Snappy answers to difficult questions

Originally Posted by Wicked Tinkerbell

I added jokes where I could on these tests. Being the geek that I am, I knew that I was going to get an A in the class. Using puns and jokes was the challenge.

In high school Spanish, I found out I could make all sorts of rude/ironic/cynical statements as long as they were in Spanish and the only trouble I got in was if I said it incorrectly. I think the teacher realized that to make the "rude" statement, I would at least have to understand the situation AND come up with a retort, i.e., I was learning Spanish.

[Wicked Tinkerbell]

Originally Posted by Doug4.7

In high school Spanish, I found out I could make all sorts of rude/ironic/cynical statements as long as they were in Spanish and the only trouble I got in was if I said it incorrectly. I think the teacher realized that to make the "rude" statement, I would at least have to understand the situation AND come up with a retort, i.e., I was learning Spanish.

Good/smart teacher!

[videoguy]

"Find x" (slightly different) on a t-shirt, anyone?
http://www.apieceofshirt.com/images/content/math.jpg

This one is pretty good too.
http://www.awadallah.com/blog/wp-con.../samrt%203.jpg

[Alchemy]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

That was my first thought. But heat and temperature aren't the same thing. If I transfer the heat from a volume x of a fluid (completely and efficiantly, which is not possible) into volume x/2 of the same but cooler fluid would the temperature of that second fluid become double that of the first?

To get the the second fluid to a higher temperature than the first fluid, you still need to transfer heat from a low-temperature object to a high-temperature object at some point, and that requires work.

You can do that if you want, but no matter what you do you are drawing in a certain mass of heat transfer fluid at temperature T_H and putting out the same mass of fluid at temperature T_L. Even if you use refrigeration or other tactics to make some of the exhaust hotter and some of the exhaust colder, you can't destroy the matter so you still must expel all of it at an average temperature of T_L. For the heat engine to produce work that T_L must be lower than T_H

Originally Posted by Alchemy

You can do that if you want, but no matter what you do you are drawing in a certain mass of heat transfer fluid at temperature T_H and putting out the same mass of fluid at temperature T_L. Even if you use refrigeration or other tactics to make some of the exhaust hotter and some of the exhaust colder, you can't destroy the matter so you still must expel all of it at an average temperature of T_L. For the heat engine to produce work that T_L must be lower than T_H

Oh please! For the love of humanity! No More Thermo! It brings back nightmares (while I am sitting here)! It burns us! AWWWWGGGGUGSDASD!!!!!

During a Mass Communication test, I encountered the following question:

"Describe the similarities and differences between the Bessamer steel process and modern communication satellites."

I wrote, "The Bessamer process put air over the steel and moder satellites are steel over the air."

Until the prof retired, he would tell that story at least once per year.

[TwoGuyswithaHat]

A friend just sent this link to me.

Originally Posted by TwoGuyswithaHat

A friend just sent this link to me.

No more reading message boards while eating pizza. I just snorted and inhaled my pizza at the same time. It was almost the death of me.

I wish I had teachers like that.

Haha, some of those were really funny. "Find X: Here it is." and "No. There's an elephant in the way." were my favorites.

On my history test last thursday, I ran out of time on my final essay. When I went to turn it in, I realized that I'd just spent the last 30 seconds scribbling down that if I was a goodwife in 18th century america I'd have murdered my husband because he was oppressive. o_o
Here's to hoping my professor keeps a sense of humor...

When I knew I was failing a module at uni and still had half an hour before I could leave, I wrote a poem paraphrasing "I Wouln't Belive Your Radio" by the Stereophonics with extra verses detailing the time I'd spent in the pub playing pool rather than attending the lectures.

I should point out this was a pure maths test! I scored 26%

I just saw the 'find x' and nearly wet myself. Now my face hurts from laughing.

[inkrose115]

Originally Posted by TwoGuyswithaHat

A friend just sent this link to me.

One student used to draw crude doodles of the teacher on the board, sometimes on class break (we have four hour classes so we got a halfway break). Anyway, one day the teacher was annoyed at his rudeness, and drew a picture of the student falling down the chimmeny of a house. (He was our background teacher and could whip up a great background with great perspective on the whiteboard in minutes).

[Der Induktionator]

A co-worker of mine got a mail with a bunch of those, he was lauging so hard he stopped breathing, and then almost threw up from hypoxia, recovered, and then went through the whole thing all over again when he tried to draw some of the jokes on the whiteboard.

Here's how to calculate the limit of 1/(x-5) as x -> 5
http://raizam.blogspot.com/2006/12/lim-x-5.html

[STF]

I like the first one, not because it's clever, but because it's so wildly inappropriate. I mean what are you thinking that makes that seem like a good idea?

In high school chemistry my friend wrote an answer to an essay question and got this written next to the X when he got it back, "naw" or "nah." I can't remember which, but it killed me that the teacher took a moment to write that instead of just marking it wrong especially since there was no additional information.

[Toys For Big Boys]

The "find x" question had me on the floor. I've been tempted to do that on lots of occasioans.

[BlushingBride]

Originally Posted by inkrose115

One student used to draw crude doodles of the teacher on the board, sometimes on class break (we have four hour classes so we got a halfway break). Anyway, one day the teacher was annoyed at his rudeness, and drew a picture of the student falling down the chimmeny of a house. (He was our background teacher and could whip up a great background with great perspective on the whiteboard in minutes).

I used to draw frogs on the chalkboard in the writing lab of my college (I worked there). The professor that was in charge of the writing lab was one of the professors who graded my senior thesis. She returned it my paper covered in frog stickers. Had to be at least 20 different styles of frog stickers. Many of them had speech bubbles commenting on the text.

That was pretty cool.

[Ms. K]

I was the kid in my seventh grade science class, who, when told to write the essay on what state of matter I thought I was, wrote five pages of philosophy.

Yes, yes I did.

I skipped the scientific states of matter as I knew them (solid, liquid, gas), and said, "Well, I think that we can never truly know what state of matter we are. After all, as Lao Tzu said, 'Am I dreaming that I am the butterfly, or am I the butterfly, dreaming that I am me?'"

I went on in this vein for five pages. And this was all done in class, mind you. No, I didn't write big, no, I didn't skip lines, either. I just wrote, inspired by whatever imp was sitting on my shoulder, whispering in my ear.

My science teacher called my parents.

He told my dad, "I've never seen a seventh grader creative enough to turn a science essay into pure philosophy. I just wanted you to know that, and maybe tell Kate to stick to science in my class."

My dad? Giggled, and said, "She's a (FamilyLastName). We're all wiseasses."

Dad told Mom, who also giggled.

I got an A on the essay, LOL!

[Alchemy]

Originally Posted by Ms. K

I was the kid in my seventh grade science class, who, when told to write the essay on what state of matter I thought I was, wrote five pages of philosophy.

We're mostly water and electrolytes held together with amphiphilic molecules. From a state-of-matter standpoint, we're all walking Jello.

[Izzy Quigley]

I almost gave a flippant answer on a test just a little while ago. It was a Syntax exam, and we had to provide five sentences following a certain diagram. Mine were of the form "(Pronoun) discussed (pronoun) with (pronoun)." In one sentence all the pronouns had to be co-referent. The professor said that grammaticality was most important, and not to worry if they sounded strange.

Sure enough, I ended up with this: "He discussed himself with himself."

I was going to write "His family had him committed" after it, but chickened out.

[Errata]

Originally Posted by Alchemy

We're mostly water and electrolytes held together with amphiphilic molecules. From a state-of-matter standpoint, we're all walking Jello.

I'd say more like water balloons than jello. You could argue solid or liquid successfully.