"Can you reset the Internet for me?"

[snopes]

Computer help desks are used to fielding oddball requests but sometimes the questions leave even the best of them stumped.

Such as: "Why isn't my wireless mouse connected to the computer?"

Or: "Can you reset the Internet for me?"

http://news.yahoo.com/story//afp/200...t_080924171304

[Don Enrico]

The "reset the Internet" one was new to me, but all the others I already heard from various sources as being true because "a friend of mine knows someone who's brother is working in IT, and he told him."

Apart from that, some aren't that stupid. I'm sure there is software for tracking UFO's out there (pun intended) even for the privat user. Professional software for the tracking of flying objects (identified or not) is in constant use at every airport, missile base and navy ship.

Don Enrico

[BlueStar]

Without context I don't see what the problem is with "Why is my wireless mouse not connected to my computer." It doesn't specify "Why is it not connected by a physical cable", and a wireless mouse does indeed need to be connected to the computer to work.

[Dara bhur gCara]

My favourite is one that a colleague claims to have taken while working on the helpdesk for a large PC Manufacturer, where he tells the person on the line to boot up his computer, hears a loud crash, and then the caller complains that he thinks he might have broken his foot and it doesn't seem to have helped at all.

I do not care if that's true. It deserves to be.

[BluesScale]

I sometimes answer questions of Yahoo and one that I see over and over again is "I do X and the internet crashes".

Gorram it! Don't do it then. Some of us need the internet.

Blues "must be a blockage in the toobs" Scale

[Troberg]

-- "Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?"

I wouldn't be surprised if someone has made such a keyboard layout.

[BlueStar]

Originally Posted by Troberg

I wouldn't be surprised if someone has made such a keyboard layout.

Prepare to not be surprised
http://abckeyboard.co.uk/

[Troberg]

Prepare to not be surprised
http://abckeyboard.co.uk/

I'm not surprised.

[JoeBentley]

Originally Posted by Dara bhur gCara

My favourite is one that a colleague claims to have taken while working on the helpdesk for a large PC Manufacturer, where he tells the person on the line to boot up his computer, hears a loud crash, and then the caller complains that he thinks he might have broken his foot and it doesn't seem to have helped at all.

I do not care if that's true. It deserves to be.

For about a year I worked at a help desk for NMCI, the Navy-Marine Core Intranet, the Department of the Navy's billion dollar boondoggle of a computer network and the largest centrally administered network in the world.

Almost weekly I had this conversation:

Me: "Well Sir/M'am I made the required changes to your computer. I need you to do me a favor and reboot your computer for those changes to take effect. I'll stay on the line until your computer comes back up to make sure this fixes your issue, okay?
Customer: "Sure thing, give me a second."
*No more then 10 seconds passes.
Customer: "Okay, it's back up!"
Me: *Very long pause* "Sir/M'am... did you just turn your monitor on and off?"
Customer: "Doesn't that turn off the computer?"

Originally Posted by Don Enrico

The "reset the Internet" one was new to me, but all the others I already heard from various sources as being true because "a friend of mine knows someone who's brother is working in IT, and he told him."

A lot of government employees especially, who have been using large computer systems that were installed before the internet as we know it came about, are very bad about this. I've learned that you have to listen to context very carefully and after a while you can start to learn if they are talking about the Internet itself or "The internet" as a way to say "The program I use to get on the internet."

Usually "Reset the internet" was a request for help with their browser.

We also had several computer systems that for security or compatibility reasons couldn't directly connect to the internet and connected through virtual machines, proxy tunnels, or other such. So in those cases you really could "reset the internet" in the eyes of the end user.

"Where can I get software to track UFOs?"

Not that odd. As Don said that question probably refers to Seti@home, a popular home grid computer program to track unidentified and possibly extraterrestrial signals.

"Can you install cable TV on my PC?"

How is that weird at all? I've had cable TV going into a TV Tuner card on a computer many times in my life. It could also refer to online video services such as Hulu.com, FoxOnDemand, or such.

At worst some of these are just badly worded, not really stupid questions in and off themselves.

"A skunk ate my cable."

Shrugs. I once got a call for "A field mouse made a nest in my printer's paper tray."

[Troberg]

Shrugs. I once got a call for "A field mouse made a nest in my printer's paper tray."

Well, my rats snipped the cable to the mouse.

[Graham2001]

Originally Posted by BlueStar

Prepare to not be surprised
http://abckeyboard.co.uk/

I can vaguely remember seeing pictures of a keyboard that went one better than that. Each key had a LCD display built into it. Each key could be programmed to represent any other character on the keyboard.

I don't think it sold well for some reason...

[Banrion]

Originally Posted by Graham2001

I can vaguely remember seeing pictures of a keyboard that went one better than that. Each key had a LCD display built into it. Each key could be programmed to represent any other character on the keyboard.

I don't think it sold well for some reason...

Probably the nearly $2000 price tag. AFAIK there has never been a mass marketed affordable version. Though I do know plenty of people to covet the Optimus Maximus.

[JoeBentley]

Originally Posted by Graham2001

I can vaguely remember seeing pictures of a keyboard that went one better than that. Each key had a LCD display built into it. Each key could be programmed to represent any other character on the keyboard.

Oh yes the Optimus Maximus Keyboard. Eye key is faced with a tiny 48x48 pixel OLED screen.

I don't think it sold well for some reason...

The 1,500+ dollar MSRP might have something to do with that...

However the company has recentley announced they are going to start selling individual OLED keys. Now I can imagine it might be worth it to replace a few context sensitive keys, say the Functions keys, for certain users.

[Graham2001]

Originally Posted by Banrion

Probably the nearly $2000 price tag. AFAIK there has never been a mass marketed affordable version. Though I do know plenty of people to covet the Optimus Maximus.

I don't think it was that, the one I can remember dated from the 80's.

[Nick Theodorakis]

The identity of each key is not determined in the hardware, so it's relatively simple to remap each key to something else. Windows will let you reset the keyboard to a number of other different settings (such as language-specific ones, or the Dvorak); for oddball layouts, there are a number of third party applications that let you customize your keyboard. After that, you can just pop the keys off and put them in a different place.

Nick

[Vanilla Gorilla]

While taking a programming class(work paid class not college course) I talked with this group of guys from another company. Tech story humor came up, i.e. "Borken CD drawer mistaken as drink tray", and they mentioned how they had a group of secretaries whom most were 50s to 60s. Well the company replaced their typewriters with PCs. Well after setting the systems up these guys had come back to check on the secretaries to wonder what happened to the mice. After asking one of the secretaries where they were at turned out they had them on the floor using them like foot pedals on a sewing machine.

One of my coworkers took a tech call once trying to help this person set up a printer. He asked her, "Can your computer see the printer?". Well he worded that wrong for she left the desk and physically moved the shared network printer up onto a shelf so that her computer could "See it" from her cube.

But I agree, some of these are not really that bizarre of requests...worded wrong but not that strange.

[Psihala]

Everyone can have accidents... right?

http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=536690

~Psihala

[Troberg]

I don't think it was that, the one I can remember dated from the 80's.

Yep, there was another one around then, with a tiny LCD in the key top. It cost even more.

Probably the nearly $2000 price tag. AFAIK there has never been a mass marketed affordable version. Though I do know plenty of people to covet the Optimus Maximus.

Too bad they don't have an API for programming against it. I would like to make a program that made ripples on the keys, much like raindrops in a puddle, when I typed.

[lord_feldon]

Originally Posted by BlueStar

Prepare to not be surprised
http://abckeyboard.co.uk/

The typewriter's Q-W-E-R-T-Y layout is a limited skill for keyboards only; we strongly recommend beginners don't spend time learning Qwerty, which is a decaying and unnecessary complication.

But new technologies such as voice input have shown "qwerty" will soon be obsolete, whereas the alphabet is timeless.

Why go through the pain of learning a dying skill, "qwerty' when you can use the ABC you know right now?

Uh huh. That's why I see this alphabet keyboard everywhere and I have to search high and low for that dying layout.

But I can't have one anyway because I'm on the American continent, so maybe I'm just jealous.

[OmmeLise]

Originally Posted by JoeBentley

Shrugs. I once got a call for "A field mouse made a nest in my printer's paper tray."

Maybe this is why Killer the Krazy Bionicat stares intensely into my printer whenever i print something. He may have heard this story!

OmmeLise