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Old 15 September 2008, 05:36 PM
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Blow Your Top I married my sibling!

I think we've seen variants of this before:

--------------------------------------------------

Comment: Date: 08/28/2008

Good Morning Steve and the Morning show family, I actually do not know
where to start with my letter. I guess I will start will saying I have
been in tears everyday for the last 4 months. I guess I will also start by
giving you a little history. First of all, my husband and I have been
married for almost 2 years. We met in college when I was a freshman and he
was a junior.

When we met, we realized we had a lot in common. We both grew up in the
same city just on different sides of town. So we didn't know each other.
We were raised by strong single black women that made sure we had the
best, we were raised in the church, and we both wanted to get legal
degrees. We got married shortly after I graduated college and we relocated
to Chicago in hopes of attending law school. When we got to Chicago, I
became a nurse instead and my husband got a position at a legal firm (long
story short, we didn't make it to law school). We both are devout
Christians and we have been for most of our life. We decided that in order
to really move forward in our spiritual life, that we needed to forgive
all the people we had problems with including our fathers.

We didn't realize how much that unforgiveness impacted our own lives. I
made it a point to forgive my father in my heart because I knew it would
be difficult to find him. My husband, however, got in touch
with his father and made arrangements to meet up with him when we went
home for our family reunion. They decided to meet up at the park where the
reunion was to be held because they felt that was a neutral spot. We went
home for the family reunion in May.. To my surprise, my father was there.
Even though I hadn't seen him in almost 16 yrs, I knew it was him. I
remembered the goal me and my husband had set for ourselves so I agreed to
go somewhere and talk with him as long as we remained in the park.

After about 45 minutes of catching up, I finally asked him what he was
doing at the park on that day of all days. He mentioned that he was there
to meet someone special in his life. I figured it was probably just
another woman.

Just then, my husband walked up and said, I see you met my father. At that
point, I did pass out (literally). I woke up in the hospital a couple of
hours later. After a week, my husband went back to Chicago. I remained in
our hometown with my mother. I was not ready to face all the
issues on my plate and I couldn't just go back to Chicago with my
husband/brother.

After 3 months, I am absolutely confused about what to do. Even though we
have only been married for 2 years, we have been together for almost 5. I
can't imagine my life without him. However, I get sick to my stomach when
I think about the fact that I have been sleeping with my
brother for so long. I know deep down it isn't really our fault. I mean
we did everything right.

I Know the obvious thing to do is divorce him. But that is easier said
than done. I am not torn between divorce and my religious beliefs because
we got married under false pretenses. My problem is, I am torn between
doing the obvious thing and dealing with all these emotions at
the same time. Please tell me what to do. I don't think I have anymore
tears left to cry.

***IS THIS TRUE OR FALSE?***
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  #2  
Old 15 September 2008, 06:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
***IS THIS TRUE OR FALSE?***
False. Obviously shock does nothing to cut off the tear duct supply.
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  #3  
Old 15 September 2008, 06:15 PM
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I'm surprised it hasn't been updated so that the young Chicago couple is Michelle and Barack Obama...
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Old 15 September 2008, 06:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simply Madeline View Post
I'm surprised it hasn't been updated so that the young Chicago couple is Michelle and Barack Obama...
omg that's the best laugh I've had in a while!
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Old 15 September 2008, 06:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simply Madeline View Post
I'm surprised it hasn't been updated so that the young Chicago couple is Michelle and Barack Obama...
I am so glad that I'm not the only one who wondered if that's how it was going to end!

Magdalene
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  #6  
Old 15 September 2008, 07:21 PM
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Nothing but shame and scandal in the family...
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  #7  
Old 16 September 2008, 09:40 AM
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your daddy aint your daddy but your daddy don't know
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  #8  
Old 17 September 2008, 01:06 AM
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Icon95

As to whether or not it's true, I can't say. Of course, the right thing to do is divorce the husband/brother. (Half-brother perhaps? The letter writer doesn't say whether or not she and her husband also have the same mother.)

This reminds me of something far more sordid. About 35 years ago, I read a letter in "Dear Abby" column. A woman wrote to Abby stating that she and her husband were also brother and sister. Only their situation wasn't anything like the one in the OP letter. She claimed that they were married knowing full well that they were brother and sister! They had grown up together, and were both traumatized by the sudden and untimely death of their parents. This brought them closer together so that they became lovers. They got married in a state where first-cousins marriage is legal. The writer ended her letter by mentioned that she and her husband/brother had children, only these offspring of incest would never know the truth about their parents.

Whew!

Barb Rainey
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  #9  
Old 17 September 2008, 01:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by barbrainey View Post
As to whether or not it's true, I can't say. Of course, the right thing to do is divorce the husband/brother.
If they are no longer comfortable being husband and wife, of course. But what harm would it do if they stayed married? I wouldn't recommend they have children.

Quote:
(Half-brother perhaps? The letter writer doesn't say whether or not she and her husband also have the same mother.)
I thought the article made it pretty clear that they did not have the same mother.
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  #10  
Old 17 September 2008, 01:55 AM
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I seem to recall a discussion some time back about a pair of seperated, fraternal twins that wound up marrying each other. Am I hallucinating?
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  #11  
Old 17 September 2008, 01:59 AM
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Auntie Witch, do you mean this?
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  #12  
Old 17 September 2008, 02:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AniMajor View Post
Auntie Witch, do you mean this?
Yup, that was it! Thanks!

I imagine this sort of thing is a lot more common than people realize. After all, hasn't that been the fear for decades about sperm banks?
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  #13  
Old 17 September 2008, 02:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by barbrainey View Post
As to whether or not it's true, I can't say. Of course, the right thing to do is divorce the husband/brother.
Why?
Quote:
(Half-brother perhaps? The letter writer doesn't say whether or not she and her husband also have the same mother.)
Not did she mention her mother having houses on both sides of town and being mysteriously absent half the time.

Quote:
This reminds me of something far more sordid. About 35 years ago, I read a letter in "Dear Abby" column. A woman wrote to Abby stating that she and her husband were also brother and sister. Only their situation wasn't anything like the one in the OP letter. She claimed that they were married knowing full well that they were brother and sister! They had grown up together, and were both traumatized by the sudden and untimely death of their parents. This brought them closer together so that they became lovers. They got married in a state where first-cousins marriage is legal. The writer ended her letter by mentioned that she and her husband/brother had children, only these offspring of incest would never know the truth about their parents.

Whew!
How sad that they have to keep the truth of their relationship hidden. I suppose if they didn't, though, some people would attack them.
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  #14  
Old 17 September 2008, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by barbrainey View Post
This reminds me of something far more sordid. About 35 years ago, I read a letter in "Dear Abby" column. A woman wrote to Abby stating that she and her husband were also brother and sister. Only their situation wasn't anything like the one in the OP letter. She claimed that they were married knowing full well that they were brother and sister! They had grown up together, and were both traumatized by the sudden and untimely death of their parents. This brought them closer together so that they became lovers. They got married in a state where first-cousins marriage is legal. The writer ended her letter by mentioned that she and her husband/brother had children, only these offspring of incest would never know the truth about their parents.

Whew!

Barb Rainey
That sounds exactly like a major portion of Middlesex. Which is a really good book BTW.
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  #15  
Old 17 September 2008, 04:51 PM
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First, why not start with a paternity test? After all, they only have their respective mothers word for it. Both were conceived out of wedlock, in what must have been pretty loose relations if (aparently) neither mother knew of the other siblings.

Then, if they really share the same father, they are genetically half-brother/sister: not ideal, perhaps, but the risk of birth defects in future children should not be exagerated either. Anyway, they can choose to have no children.

More importantly, both socially and emotionally they are not brother and sister: they are husband and wife.
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  #16  
Old 17 September 2008, 05:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joostik View Post
More importantly, both socially and emotionally they are not brother and sister: they are husband and wife.
Precisely. The reasons for the taboo against incest -- the disruption of normal familial relationships, the potential abuse of power and sexualization of children, etc. -- simply do not exist in this case.
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  #17  
Old 17 September 2008, 06:01 PM
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The fear of having children with genetic problems applies to small communities where everyone has been related for several generations, but a single consanguinous pairing in a generally heterogenous community isn't especially likely to produce children with genetic defects. The couple would be smart to get tested for some of the more common problems, like cystic fibrosis, and if they know of a specific defect that has appeared anywhere in their ancestry, getting a test for that would be good too, if a test exists.

Wasn't this an episode of House?
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  #18  
Old 18 September 2008, 07:57 PM
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Thread reminds me of this:
Apollo Justice spoilers
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  #19  
Old 19 September 2008, 12:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snopes View Post
We were raised by strong single black women [snip]
I wonder why the writer thought mentioning race would be relevant From what I can tell, it doesn't seem to make any difference to the story.
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  #20  
Old 19 September 2008, 12:17 AM
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I thought this might be a Bel Air, which would have been a lot funnier.
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