Steps in Overcoming Masturbation

[TwoGuyswithaHat]

This has been making its rounds here at work. This page claims that

even though this is "real," it is here for the purpose of ridiculing the Mormon religion

STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Mark E. Petersen
Council of the 12 Apostles

Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.

This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.

After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:


A Guide to Self-Control:
1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act."

The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.

9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.

As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.


Suggestions:
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.

2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.

4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to never again you will always be open to temptation.

5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.

6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.

13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.

15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.

16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.

17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.

19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.

20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.

21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

[Auntie Witch]

20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.

But what if the "something that delights you" is a vibrator?

[Tarquin Farquart]

I've heard this before, I'm not sure what it's got to do with Mormons.

[Aimee Evilpixie]

I think, if anything, that people should masturbate more. I think the world would be a less cranky place if everyone did.

[Towknie]

You can pry my nether regions out of my cold dead hands!

[Tarquin Farquart]

Originally Posted by Towknie

You can pry my nether regions out of my cold dead hands!

I'd suggest warming them up first...

[Silas Sparkhammer]

Originally Posted by Tarquin Farquart

I've heard this before, I'm not sure what it's got to do with Mormons.

Sexual obsession with reproduction is common among small groups, especially ones living in relatively desolate environments. This is in part why the ancient Hebrews were so finicky about sex. Every baby born slightly improved the survival chances for the entire tribe. For the Mormons, with small numbers, and living in the desert, and being scripturally inspired by the Old Testament, the emphasis would be both rational and religious/traditional.

Silas

[BringTheNoise]

Originally Posted by Aimee Evilpixie

I think, if anything, that people should masturbate more. I think the world would be a less cranky place if everyone did.

TMI WARNING!








Let's just say that I'm doing my bit...

[zephyra]

Originally Posted by Towknie

You can pry my nether regions out of my cold dead hands!

Wait, we're not still talking about kicking the meat habit? Now we're beating it?

[Jay Tea]

Hm. And here was me getting ready to publish 'Jay Tea's Seminal Guide to Cracking One Off'

Reminds me of a chat I had with a colleague once. A joke about wanking led to his simple admittance that he didn't. When politely asked 'where it all went' and following some gags about nocturnal emissions he said that he just didn't ejaculate, pure and simple.

I guess it explained why that vein in his head was always pulsing away quite visibley

[Tarquin Farquart]

Originally Posted by Jay Tea

he said that he just didn't ejaculate, pure and simple.

What, even during sex?

[Wild Redhead]

17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.

I'm going to have to get rid of my computer, TV, and phone and become a shut-in.

[Jay Tea]

Originally Posted by Tarquin Farquart

What, even during sex?

I don't think sex was an issue.

[Mama Duck]

Originally Posted by Wild Redhead

I'm going to have to get rid of my computer, TV, and phone and become a shut-in.

You think you've got it bad. I'd have to get a total lobotomy. Too many beautiful men running around in there.

[Richard W]

I don't know whether this (the OP) is a serious guide associated with the Mormons or not, but certainly the sentiment doesn't seem unusual among many groups, religious or otherwise.

I saw a letter once in a copy of The Watchtower that somebody put through my door, apparently from a teenage boy expressing thanks for an article in a previous issue about how to avoid temptations of this nature.

There's also a fairly explicit appendix in the back of the modern reprint of Scouting For Boys by Robert Baden-Powell, originally written for publication in 1908 but which his publishers made him remove. Baden-Powell says that he's already warned his readers about smoking and drinking, but that there's a "perhaps more dangerous" practice that people are often too afraid to mention, but which he is brave enough to talk about - I quote:

You all know what it is at times to have a pleasant feeling in your private parts, and there comes an inclination to work it up with your hand or otherwise. It is especially likely to happen when you see a dirty picture or hear dirty stories and jokes.

Well, lots of fellows from not knowing any better, please themselves in this way until it often becomes a sort of habit with them which they cannot get out of.

Yet I am sure that every sensible boy, if he were told in time of the danger of it, would have the strength not to do it.

So I warn you all about it.

The practice is called 'self-abuse'. And the result of self-abuse is always - mind you, always - that the boy after a time becomes weak and nervous and shy, he gets headaches and probably palpitation of the heart, and if he still carries it on too far he very often goes out of his mind and becomes an idiot.

A very large number of the lunatics in our asylums have made themselves ill by indulging in this vice although at one time they were sensible cheery boys like any one of you.

The use of your parts is not to play with when you are a boy but to enable you to get children when you are grown up and married. But if you misuse them while young you will not be able to use them when you are a man: they will not work then.

Remember too that several awful diseases come from indulgence - one especially that rots away the inside of men's mouths, their noses, and eyes etc.

So for all reasons be on the lookout against this temptation, it is easier to stop it at first than when it becomes a habit. The next time you feel the desire coming on don't give way to it; resist it. If you have the chance just wash your parts in cold water and cool them down. Wet dreams come from it especially after eating rich food, or too much meat, or from sleeping with too warm a blanket over your body or in too soft a bed or from sleeping on your back. Therefore avoid all these.

Avoid listening to stories or reading or thinking about dirty subjects.

You will soon find that the temptation will not worry you so much. Be strong and don't give way to it.

If at first you find a difficulty about it don't be afraid to go and talk openly to your officer about it and he will tell you what to do.

Apart from Baden-Powell's encouragement to talk to scoutmasters if you're having trouble resisting masturbation, I especially like the implication that "indulgence" in this form will give you syphillis. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

He then goes on to say what a "disgrace and a danger to England" it is that there was so much unemployment at the time, although people apparently wanted to work. Apparently this is because "want of self-restraint among men and women" causes overpopulation. Again, he doesn't explain how masturbation rather than other forms of release are to blame...

I actually just read another great conversation about masturbation earlier tonight, but I'll put it in a separate post.

[Towknie]

Ah, good ole' religion. I recall some writings on masturbation from the matriarch "prophet" of the Seventh Day Adventist church on the subject. It's been a while since I read it, but I believe it was along the lines of the act itself not being particularly bad, but rather the fantasies that one conjured up in one's mind to accomplish the task at "hand" (pun intended). Apparently, if one came up with all kinds of deviant fantasies to aid in masturbation, it would make one's expectations of sanctified sex within marriage unrealistic and could lead to more serious crimes against God like adultery.

Here are a couple interesting things she had to say on the subject:

"If the practice [self-indulgence] is continued from the age of fifteen and upward, nature will protest against the abuse she has suffered, and continues to suffer, and will make them pay the penalty for the transgression of her laws, especially from the ages of thirty to forty-five, by numerous pains in the system, and various diseases, such as affection of the liver and lungs, neuralgia, rheumatism, affection of the spine, diseased kidneys, and cancerous humors. Some of nature's fine machinery gives way, leaving a heavier task for the remaining to perform, which disorders nature's fine arrangement, and there is often a sudden breaking down of the constitution; and death is the result." [42]

Females possess less vital force than the other sex, and are deprived very much of the bracing, invigorating air, by their in-door life. The result of self-abuse in them is seen in various diseases, such as catarrh, dropsy, headache, loss of memory and sight, great weakness in the back and loins, affections of the spine, and frequently, inward decay of the head. Cancerous humor, which would lie dormant in the system their lifetime, is inflamed, and commences its eating, destructive work. The mind is often utterly ruined, and insanity supervenes."[43]

My two favorites are death and inward decay of the head. Nice. So apparently, whack it all you want 'ti you're 15, then instantly stop.

[RobDBlackwolf]

For me the best way to not wank is simply to have sex with my wife.

Unfortunately that doesn't work every day so I simply shake and shimmy on the other days.

And I doubt that I have experienced any negative sides from it, even though I was quite active in my youth in that matter. But my palms are just as hairy as any other mans palm and the green scales that cover my nether region aren't that rough and brittle. And just half of my nose fell off, so there!

[Richard W]

OK, I swear I don't make a habit of collecting amusing anecdotes about masturbation, but I'm reading (the abridged Penguin Classics version of) Giacomo Casanova's Story Of My Life at the moment, and he recounts a long conversation with a Turkish (hence Islamic) "philosopher" called Yusuf Ali that he met while visiting Constantinople, aged 19 (around 1744).

The whole conversation is really interesting, and I was thinking of adding various parts to other threads, but this thread is perfect for one section. This follows on from a conversation as to how a vow of celibacy, in the sense used by the Knights of Malta to mean "not marrying" (which I believe is a standard sense), could possibly be a good thing from any point of view.

I'll put Casanova in italics; the other voice is Yusuf Ali. Casanova is representing his brand of Christianity.

"Masturbation is also a sin for you."

"Even more than illicit intercourse."

"I know; and this has always surprised me, for any legislator who makes a law that cannot be enforced is a fool. A man who has no wife, and who is healthy, must absolutely masturbate when imperious nature makes him feel the need. Anyone who, for fear of soiling his soul, could find the strength to abstain would become mortally ill."

"We believe exactly the opposite. We believe that young people spoil their health and shorten their lives by this practice. In many communities, they are carefully watched and not given any time to commit this sin upon themselves."

"Those who watch them are imbeciles, and those who pay for the service are fools, for prohibition itself must augment the desire to break a law so despotic and so contrary to nature."

"Nonetheless, it seems to me that in excess this abuse must harm the health, for it leads to over-excitation and weakens the body."

"Agreed; but there would be no abuse if there were no cause for it, and those who forbid the thing provoke it. If you do not worry about these matters with girls, I do not understand why you see fit to bother the boys."

"Girls do not run so great a risk, for they can only lose very little substance, which does not even come from the same source as that whence springs the seeds of life in men."

"I know nothing about that, but we have doctors who maintain that it causes pale complexion in girls."

(Trans. Stephen Sartarelli and Sophie Hawkes)

I'm not sure how well Casanova holds his end up in this conversation - throughout most of it, not just this part, Yusuf Ali definitely has the upper hand even by Casanova's account - but still... interesting I thought.

I'm glad this thread popped up - I came across this passage only a few hours ago...

[Towknie]

Originally Posted by Richard W

I'm glad this thread popped up - I came across this passage only a few hours ago...

Subconscious coming out to play, is it?

[Richard W]

Originally Posted by Towknie

Subconscious coming out to play, is it?

Oi! That was deliberate... (and you missed "holding his end up" and "the upper hand"). I like to indulge my literary masturbatory instincts too. None of us want to see the mess that would be created if I didn't.