Don't close your blinds

[amorrison50]

Don't Close Your Blinds

The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation. My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window.

He said "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"

"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses," he replied.

"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush."

Our son giggled and said "OK."

"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.

"OK Dad, I'm pretending."

"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and s hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death. Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this, son....what do you do?"

"Dad?"

"What do you do son?"

"I'd call the police, Dad."

"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call. They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?"

"Dad......... but the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine.

"They don't want to, son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.

"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.

"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children"

"Daddy...he kills them?"

"Yes, son, he does. What do you do?"

"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him," our son says.

"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.

"But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can't stop him by myself!!"

"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry.

"OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next, son?"

"What Daddy?"

"He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"

"Daddy..."

"WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, “I'd close the blinds, Daddy."

My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him. "Why?"

"Because, Daddy.....the police are supposed to help people who need them...and they won't help..... You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself, Daddy.....I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and.do nothing...so....I'm just going to close the blinds.... so I can't see what he's doing........and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening.”

I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says... "Son"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Open the blinds because that man.... He's at your front door... "WHAT DO YOU DO?"

My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in t he eyes, without hesitation he says: " I DEFEND MY FAMILY, DAD!! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD!!! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!"

I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his chest and hugs him tight, and says... " It's too late to fight him, he's too strong and he's already at YOUR front door son.....you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady across the way. You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it alone, before its too late," my husband whispers.

THAT scenario I just gave you is WHY we are at war with Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen, son, THAT is the greatest atrocity in the world. "YOU MUST NEVE R BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!" BE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! BE PROUD OF OUR TROOPS!! SUPPORT THEM!!! SUPPORT AMERICA SO THAT IN THE FUTURE OUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER HAVE TO CLOSE THEIR BLINDS..."

This should be printed in every newspaper and posted in every school in America. Of course that won't happen so we'll use the Internet. If your blinds are closed, do nothing with this email. If they are open I do not need to tell you what to do.

GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!

If my newspaper printed that crap, I'd cancel my subscription.

[Bryan With a 'Y']

Blind chow

And yeah, ick.

Obviously the right thing to do is get rid of the dad AND the Mom (who had to be a Ba'athist to get into that position of authority.) Then, now that you've liberated little Kurt, Sunny, and Sheela to shift for themselves, wonder why they haven't stepped forward to lead the household and seem to spend all their time fighting.

Alternatively:

"But I see Mr. Mugabwe beating his wife and kids."
"Mr. Mugabwe doesn't have any oil in his yard."

This is probably the sickest glurge that I have ever read. Wouldn't telling a kid a story like that in such graphic detail and yelling at him constitute child abuse? ...just a thought...

[Sunny Lea]

Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father.

Way to infantilize the Iraqi people.

I want to make more comments, but I just can't. Reading this made me a little sick to my stomach. I don't think I can even laugh at it.

[vison]

Beings like that only exist on Glurgiana. They impinge upon our world now and again, sadly enough. There is a rip in the Space/Time Continuum through which Glurgites can enter our world.

I am, in cahoots with other like-minded Earthlings, mounting a 3 pronged campaign to stop this horrid invasion.

Those interested in aiding us can send donations, preferably in large numbers of unmarked American $50 bills, to my Post Office Box.

Meantime, when you come across Glurgites and their foul spawn (often in the form of messages such as the one above, but not always!) remember that any Canadian Tire or Walmart or many other fine emporiums will gladly sell you a Flame Thrower and the requisite fuel.

There is SUCH satisfaction in watching the Glurgites and their effluvia wriggle, squirm, turn black and vanish before the flames!

[amorrison50]

One of my recurring thoughts as I read this was that the boy sounded rather immature for 9, but it could be the result of a lifetime of emotional torture.

I also wondered why it was e-mailed to every member of my dog training group. Somehow, I'm not seeing the connection.

[Deepfrydegg]

While I would love to spend the page or two picking out the flaws in the "letter," I trust those reading will be able to make their own determinations and conclusions.

Such banal junk makes me ill. Not in itself, but the fact that people out there will believe it.

[jimmy101_again]

Of course, the ending of the story is that the kid goes out and wacks Abdullah, who lives next door to Saddam ...

[vanilla]

Originally Posted by amorrison50

One of my recurring thoughts as I read this was that the boy sounded rather immature for 9, but it could be the result of a lifetime of emotional torture.

Mostly caused by the fact that his name apparently is Son.

[TrishDaDish]

I think they're gonna have to edit this piece of crap if they keep wanting to spam it, what with Saddam being dead and all. Time to find a new scapegoat...

[Mouse]

I must ask how exactly does wife-beating make you stronger?

God - I almost nevr respond to glurge related stuff, but that was some pretty sh**y stuff. The good news is that I know a LOT of miltiary people and I have yet to meet any that stupid... All I can say is that if those two got our, the military is beeter off... aside from all the other obvious comments about this crap and glugiana in general!

Warlok

[Amigone201]

Don't Close Your Blinds

The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation.

Boy were you wrong.

My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window.

"And don't come back till you learn to stop questioning our magnificent government, you dirty, rotten, tree-hugging America-hating terrorist!"

He said "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"

"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses," he replied.

No shit, really?

"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush."

Our son giggled and said "OK."

Then he giggled some more, and rocked back and forth without dropping for a second that chimpy smile.

"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.

"OK Dad, I'm pretending."

He made a gun with his thumb and forefinger, and began aiming it at the houses.

"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife. He has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death. Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this, son....what do you do?"

"Dad?"

You decide that's not what's happening at all, make up a colossal lie instead, and use it to whip everyone I know into a frenzy so we can all go over there and wreak vigilante justice.

"What do you do son?"

"I'd call the police, Dad."

"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call. They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?"

I'd probably ask them why they refuse to help and then see if we can reach some kind of agreement.

"Dad......... but the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine.

And can I come back from the window now? This is starting to creep out the neighbors.

"They don't want to, son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.

"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.

Not to mention, that's a giant stawman, Dad!!!

"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children"

"Daddy...he kills them?"

I don't like this game anymore, Dad. Can we stop now? I can feel myself being traumatized!

"Yes, son, he does. What do you do?"

"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him," our son says.

"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.

But DAD, what if my next door neighbor is a weapons inspector, who agrees to go over there and check the place out, but I get trigger happy and I don't want to wait for him to do his job anymore!

"But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can't stop him by myself!!"

"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry.

This makes Dad immeasurably pleased with himself.

"OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next, son?"

"What Daddy?"

He comes to your front door in a trench coat and flashes you.

"He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"

YOU YELL REALLY LOUD AT YOUR NINE YEAR OLD SON!

"Daddy..."

But Daddy, Saddam didn't do that!

"WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, “I'd close the blinds, Daddy."

My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him. "Why?"

Because I'm only 9 years old, I know nothing about international relations, treaties, or war, and you've just reduced me to tears even though I haven't done anything wrong.

"Because, Daddy.....the police are supposed to help people who need them...and they won't help..... You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself, Daddy.....I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and.do nothing...so....I'm just going to close the blinds.... so I can't see what he's doing........and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening.”

But Daddy isn't done yet!

I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says... "Son"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Open the blinds because that man.... He's at your front door... "WHAT DO YOU DO?"

I don't know. That hasn't happened yet.

My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in t he eyes, without hesitation he says: " I DEFEND MY FAMILY, DAD!! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD!!! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!"

Ha ha ha. Good thing for Saddam, he didn't make a single move to attack us, huh?

I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his chest and hugs him tight, and says... " It's too late to fight him, he's too strong and he's already at YOUR front door son.....you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady across the way. You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it alone, before its too late," my husband whispers.

Of course, if you DO do it alone, you're probably just going to mess up his house for generations to come, create no discernible benefit, cost yourself enormously, and leave the whole thing ripe for someone even worse to move in.

THAT scenario I just gave you is WHY we are at war with Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen, son, THAT is the greatest atrocity in the world. "YOU MUST NEVE R BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!" BE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! BE PROUD OF OUR TROOPS!! SUPPORT THEM!!! SUPPORT AMERICA SO THAT IN THE FUTURE OUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER HAVE TO CLOSE THEIR BLINDS..."

What is this "closing their blinds" nonsense? Do these morons really think when Saddam was killing Kurds that everyone else was just ignoring him?

This should be printed in every newspaper and posted in every school in America. Of course that won't happen...

Because it's a giant piece of badly-analogized, strawman-laden garbage.

...so we'll use the Internet.

What makes you think anyone will be more receptive there?

If your blinds are closed, do nothing with this email.

Thanks for your permission. I will.

If they are open I do not need to tell you what to do.

Yeah, close them. Whatever that means.

GOD BLESS!!!!!!

Yeah, God loves preemptive wars.

[Ezri]

THis glurge made me want to reglurge-itate....I know

[vison]

I gotta say, this is pretty near the worst one yet.

I wish someone would smite those Glurgites. They are taking over the world.

Or, at any rate, annoying me no end.

[DaGuyWitBluGlasses]

Wheres the part about Kuw-- i mean your neighbour... paying for the financial burden of you saving them?

[Mouse]

Originally Posted by Amigone201

What is this "closing their blinds" nonsense? Do these morons really think when Saddam was killing Kurds that everyone else was just ignoring him?

For the most part, yes. I mean occasionally, we'd speak up and denounce him but during that time we kept selling him weapons and funding his regime.

The son then turned to his father. "Wait a minute, Dad. Didn't you place our neighbour at that house and teach him how to beat his wife? Everyone's known for quite some time that he beats his kids and his wife yet you continue to call him a good neighbour and support him and keep him out of trouble, all the while ignoring what he does. So doesn't that make you as guilty as he?"

*sits back and waits for the flame war.*

[TB Tabby]

And don't forget the part about the neigbor who threw a brick threw a winshield, and you fought a different neighbor whom you supect of supplying the first neightbor with bricks, even through the two of them despise each other.