Masturbating with a test tube

[snopes]

Comment: hi, i first heard about this myth in about 98 and ive heard
numerous similar stories since about a girl who was supposedly
masterbating dury class with a test tube and when the teacher approached
her she closed her legs shattering the test tube still inside her.
probably bullsh*t but still this one keeps cropping up.

[Cervus]

She must have had Kegels of Steel, considering test tubes are generally made of Pyrex.

[ChildofMusic]

Not only that, but if this is a high school story, those test tubes are reused dozens of times. DOYC only knows what could be on that thing. Blegh.

[musicgeek]

Combining Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop" with Thomas Dolby, we get:

"She Blinded Herself With Science!"

I got it...

[Ariadne]

I was expecting the test tube to cause suction and attach to her cervix.

[Elsie]

Yeah, I know.. anecdotes and data and all that...

I enjoy penetrative sex very much, but get very little pleasure from penetrative (only) masturbation because I just don't have vaginal orgasms. I have to have clitoral stimulation. That just wouldn't happen with a test tube, while sitting in class and, presumably, trying to be as discreet as possible. Also, test tubes would be awfully skinny, dontcha' think? Frankly, I can get more pleasure just from squeezing my thighs and kegels than I would with a test tube.

[me, no really]

Given that a lot have people have heard similar stories, I suspect it has probably happened that someone has used a test tube to masturbate. Not so sure about the smashing part. I suspect though that the stories probably came first. Kind of like "hmmm, sounds like an idea, might give it a go"

me

[Cervus]

Originally Posted by me, no really

Given that a lot have people have heard similar stories, I suspect it has probably happened that someone has used a test tube to masturbate. Not so sure about the smashing part.

Or the part about doing it during class.

[Artemis]

Originally Posted by Elsie

Also, test tubes would be awfully skinny, dontcha' think? Frankly, I can get more pleasure just from squeezing my thighs and kegels than I would with a test tube.

Some of us are tighter than others. :o

[Mycroft]

We also had things called Boiling Tubes which were giant test tubes, over 1" diameter and also longer

[Banrion]

I have never heard of this particular story, but recently on one of those Discovery Health ER shows, they had a woman who was trying to hide a crack pipe from cops in her vagina and it somehow got broken, and hence she ended up in the ER.

[Ali Infree]

Given that a lot have people have heard similar stories, I suspect it has probably happened that someone has used a test tube to masturbate.

Hearing stories is not quite the same thing as a fact. Sure a test tube passes the phallic test by being longer than it is wide, but this sounds more like a legend to me.

OT: I remember a woman telling me in college about crossing her legs and masturbating by swinging her leg. It kept me from paying attention to the instructor a lot in college.

Ali "don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing" Infree

[Nick Theodorakis]

Originally Posted by Cervus

She must have had Kegels of Steel, considering test tubes are generally made of Pyrex.

There are also disposable glass tubes meant to be single use that are made from cheap, thin, easily broken glass.

Nick

[Ravenhull]

Originally Posted by Ariadne

I was expecting the test tube to cause suction and attach to her cervix.

I was expecting this to be about a guy (and hopefuly a larger than standard tube) suddenly having some suction issues.

[Silas Sparkhammer]

Mostly in response to Elsie's post: could it be that, while penetrative self-gratification is not the most effective, that, at some point, some (many?) young women experiment with it? I can only speak for myself, of course, but...er... Well, maybe I shouldn't... (A combination of personal reticence and a desire not to be the cause of a mass-nausea attack among my fellow snopesters...) Let's just say that, in the throes of adolescence, I tried a lot of things that were not efficient approaches to maximizing of sexual pleasure.

To put it a bit coarsely, if I were a teenage female, I probably would have experimented with putting all sorts of odd items up yonder, at least for a while, until I became more familiar with my sexual responses and learned what works best.

This is why this story "rings true" for me, even though it may be entirely apocryphal.

(Melons, by the way, are quite uninteresting, no matter what anyone says. I suspect that, for women, cucumbers are also more fun to talk about diddling than actually to diddle.)

Silas

[Hans Off]

Originally Posted by Silas Sparkhammer

Mostly in response to Elsie's post:
Silas

Ditto...

Some people can find science lessons very very boring...Some people may pass the time doodling, and some may try something else!!

As for "strength" required to break the tube, that is only a consideration if the tube has no flaws... A hairline crack would weaken it massivley...

Having said that, I am sure it is a UL.

[lord_feldon]

I'm leaning towards it having been true somewhere, sometime, simply because there are a lot of females in the world and a lot of schools and a lot of test tubes.

I actually thought something completely different when I read the title. Something along the lines of "Why would you put it in a test tube? What if it gets stuck?"

[SatansHobbit]

In case of emergency, break glass!

Originally Posted by Ravenhull

I was expecting this to be about a guy (and hopefuly a larger than standard tube) suddenly having some suction issues.

"It's not my bag, baby," unless they start manufacturing them ribbed and lubricated on the inside.

I've visions of a high school couple trying to use one as a condom now. It would take good timing and a decent grip on the girl's part but they'd have a ready made sample for the pathology lab.

Alas, if it shattered during the throes of passion, they could end up with a test tube baby.

[mags]

Originally Posted by Silas Sparkhammer

To put it a bit coarsely, if I were a teenage female, I probably would have experimented with putting all sorts of odd items up yonder, at least for a while, until I became more familiar with my sexual responses and learned what works best.

In class?

Yes, IME girls do try out penetration when learning about their burgeoning sexuality. But, also IME, teenagers (male and female) are way too embarrassed about most things, first and foremost their sexuality, to ever do their experimentation in class.

[candy from strangers]

Originally Posted by Elsie

Yeah, I know.. anecdotes and data and all that...

I enjoy penetrative sex very much, but get very little pleasure from penetrative (only) masturbation because I just don't have vaginal orgasms. I have to have clitoral stimulation.

I'm the same way! Sorry to get so excited about it and hijack, but I thought I must be strange for that, as when I've explained it to a few friends they didn't understand why I would like penetrative sex.