I forward you jokes because you're just like my dog?

[Saran Wrap]

I got this from my MIL, the uber-glurge forwarder.
__________________________________________

This explains why we forward jokes.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead
for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch
that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate
looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he
got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought
right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler
asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and
continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to
a dirt road leading to a rough farm gate that looked as if it had never
been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree
and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned
hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then
he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was
standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said
that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope.
That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave
their best friends behind."

Soooo.

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without
writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you
do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you
forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how,
you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still
important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you
get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just
another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your
friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime.

[Karmyn]

Wasn't this an pisode of the Twilight Zone, except the dog wouldn't go in because he could smell the brimstone? Great episode, but it sucks as glurge.

[Artemis]

I googled it. The Twilight Zone ep was "The Hunt."

I don't understand why you get to choose whether you go to heaven or hell? What if you don't have a dog and you want to go to the Hell that seems to be heaven? No, doesn't hold up under analysis. I do kind of like the idea of a dog not going in because he can smell brimstone--that sounds deliciously and TZ-ly creepy.

[Eddylizard]

when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

That's the sort of thing you could easily overlook.

A whole explanation of why we email jokes and there is no joke included!?

This glurge has seduced and taken advantage of me. I feel so...ashamed

[DawnStorm]

"I foreward you jokes because you're like my dog?"

Well I can be a bitch at times.

[Buckle Up]

When you are very busy reading the 19 forwards and spams sent to you by others, but still want to let others know you are alive, guess what you
do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, and couldn't care less about what's going on in the recipients' lives, information that could be ascertained by, oh, I don't know, asking questions about the recipients and their families and friends, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how,
and don't know how to spell correctly, and don't know how to type, and don't trust yourself to avoid sending embarrassing pornographic attachments, and don't know how to use the computer correctly, and don't know how to tell your own jokes, you forward jokes.

When you do have something to say, and feel the pathological need to tell everyone you know and even some people you don't know, and the even worse need to make them agree with you and take action on behalf of your strange and frightening political beliefs, you forward boycott notices.

When you have nothing to say and you know logically that it's probably impossible for something good to happen to you at 3:15 today just because you forwarded an email to 11 people, and probably it's unlikely that terrible misfortune will befall you tomorrow if you fail to do so, but you're still just a tiny bit superstitious and don't want to tempt fate, and who knows, it can't hurt to try, guess what you do? You forward the email to 11 people on your contact list that you never talk to in real life or about real issues, whose main function in your life is to serve as a dumping ground for these "send this to X number of people" emails.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

Annoyed.

[One-Fang]

I don't know why it irks me so, but it does. I always water the dog first. I can wait. :/

[Bryan With a 'Y']

You know, the funny thing is, this is exactly like the end of the Mahabharata.

On the mountain peak, Indra, King of Gods, arrived to take Yudhisthira to heaven in his Golden Chariot. As Yudhisthira was about to step into the Chariot, the Deva told him to leave behind his companion dog, an unholy creature not worthy of heaven. Yudhisthira stepped back, refusing to leave behind the creature who he had taken under his protection. Indra wondered at him - "You can leave your brothers behind, not arranging proper cremations for them...and you refuse to leave behind a stray dog!"

Yudhisthira replied, "Draupadi and my brothers have left me, not me [them]." And he refused to go to heaven without the dog. At that moment the dog changed into the God Dharma, his father, who was testing him...and Yudhisthira had passed with distinction.

[Marie19]

Yunno why I hate glurges like this? As stupid as they are, they still give me goosebumps.

[Mad Jay]

Wait a minute!!! So, he drank the water from the bowl, and then the dog srank the water from the same bowl, and the next person who comes along with his dog will drink the water from the same bowl

Heaven isn't too hygenic, is it?

[Kid Kilowatt]

No, it's okay. Bacteria don't make it into heaven. They support gay marriage.

[inkrose115]

Originally Posted by Kid Kilowatt

No, it's okay. Bacteria don't make it into heaven. They support gay marriage.

Call me crazy, but... YOMANK!

[barbrainey]

I remember the "Twilight Zone" episode, "The Hunt." The man's name was Hider Simpson and his dog was a coon dog. They went raccoon hunting, but their prey jumped into a pond or lake, and the dog went in after it. Then Hider jumped in to save his dog. They both drowned. That was a good story.

But what is this part about forwarding jokes? It is just for the recipient of the email?

Barbara R.

[Canuckistan]

Originally Posted by Kid Kilowatt

No, it's okay. Bacteria don't make it into heaven. They support gay marriage.