The Many Myths of the Magi

[snopes]

They came. They saw. They gifted.

That's about all we know of the foreign visitors who traveled to Bethlehem to see the infant Jesus.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...120701782.html

[Jay Temple]

Yesterday my wife and I were putting together a list of the Ten Worst Christmas Songs. I gave "We Three Kings" a Dishonorable Mention because, while I like the song on its own merit, it has led otherwise intelligent people, including me, to think that they knew not only the number but even the names of the Magi.

[p-man]

Originally Posted by Jay Temple

Yesterday my wife and I were putting together a list of the Ten Worst Christmas Songs. I gave "We Three Kings" a Dishonorable Mention because, while I like the song on its own merit, it has led otherwise intelligent people, including me, to think that they knew not only the number but even the names of the Magi.

Who could not like that song?

"We three kings of Orient are
Trying to smoke a Tampa cigar
We were loaded, it expoded
Sending us all to Mars."

It never stops going through my head this time of year.

[musicgeek]

Originally Posted by Jay Temple

Yesterday my wife and I were putting together a list of the Ten Worst Christmas Songs. I gave "We Three Kings" a Dishonorable Mention because, while I like the song on its own merit, it has led otherwise intelligent people, including me, to think that they knew not only the number but even the names of the Magi.

*Ahem.* Point of order - the carol doesn't mention the names, only the number of the magi and the nature of the gifts. (The reason we usually think of three is that someone once upon a time assumed one gift per person.) As to the names, the now-familiar Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar seem to date to the 8th century.

[Jay Temple]

Originally Posted by musicgeek

*Ahem.* Point of order - the carol doesn't mention the names, only the number of the magi and the nature of the gifts. (The reason we usually think of three is that someone once upon a time assumed one gift per person.) As to the names, the now-familiar Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar seem to date to the 8th century.

True, but the first time I saw those names was in a book of Christmas songs where each of the middle verses was attributed to one of the three by name.

[musicgeek]

Ah. Fair enough; carry on then!

[Singing in the Drizzle]

I was watching something on one of those documentary channels a year or two ago. They were going over the history of the birth of Jesus based on historical document and archaeological digs. Jesus birth and the nativity we see today is most likely noting like what really happen. Wise men/magi were likely astrologers as the artical suggest. The same type as we have running around today, just that they were usually concealers to the king. What we see as the manger of today is nothing like the manger of Jesus time. A hostel of that time had two parts the raised sleeping area in back and the ground level area in the front called a manger. The live stock you traveled with at that time stayed in the same room you and everyone else slept in. So if this was the case as achological digs suggest then Jesus was born on the ground next the animals with about 20 other people in the room with then. Three of them could easly been traveling magi that as a gift to the new born passed on some blessings.

[Andrew of Ware]

Originally Posted by p-man

Who could not like that song?

"We three kings of Orient are
Trying to smoke a Tampa cigar
We were loaded, it expoded
Sending us all to Mars."

It never stops going through my head this time of year.

Or even,

We three kings of Orient are
Selling knickers at tuppence a pair
How fantastic, no elastic,
Following yonder star.

[Tarquin Farquart]

Originally Posted by Jay Temple

Yesterday my wife and I were putting together a list of the Ten Worst Christmas Songs. I gave "We Three Kings" a Dishonorable Mention because, while I like the song on its own merit, it has led otherwise intelligent people, including me, to think that they knew not only the number but even the names of the Magi.

It gets a good mark in my book as it features the word "yonder" a much underused word.

[Brad from Georgia]

As performed by the Atlanta Radio Theatre Company, Dec. 22 and 23, 2007:

The Legend of the Poinsettia
By Brad Strickland

Characters
*
Announcer
Staffer
Biblical Narrator [Charlton Heston-like voice]
Balthasar, a wise man
Caspar, a wise man
Melchior, a wise man
Irving, a wise man
Mary
Frankincense, a Karloffian gift
*
Music: “Good King Wenceslas,” with jingle bells. FADE UNDER:

ANNOUNCER:
Really gets you in the holiday spirit, doesn’t it? Now, one of our listeners, Mrs. Louisa Phlegm of—

STAFFER:
[URGENT WHISPER] Flynn!

ANNOUNCER:
--Louisa FLYNN, of Daylonega—

STAFFER:
[URGENT WHISPER] Dahlonega!

ANNOUNCER:
--of DUHLONEGA, has wroten in to ask—

STAFFER:
[URGENT WHISPER] Written, you idiot!

ANNOUNCER:
--has WRITTEN YOU IDIOT in to ask—

STAFFER:
[ANGRY] Oh, give me that!

SFX: RUSTLE OF PAPER AS STAFFER GRABS THE SCRIPT

ANNOUNCER:
Not in the face! Not in the face!

SFX: ANNOUNCER THWACKED WITH SCRIPT

STAFFER:
Mrs. Flynn asks “Can you tell us how the poinsettia came to be associated with Christmas?” Well, of course we can, Mrs. Louisa Flynn. We will tell you in a radio drama, “The Legend of the Poinsettia.” Music, please.

SFX: “DECK THE HALLS” PLAYED ON KAZOOS, FADING UNDER:

BIBLICAL NARRATOR:
Now, it came to pass in the days when the Wise Men were journeying, yea, even unto Bethlehem, that they came bearing gifts. Balthasar bore unto the babe a gift of gold; and Caspar bore unto the babe a gift of frankincense; and Melchior bore unto the babe a gift of myrrh…and Irving bore unto the babe a gift of a poinsettia.

BALTHASAR:
Iriving, yea, verily, I ask unto thee, what’s with the plant? Don’t you know those things are poison? What, you want the Messiah to drop dead at the age of twelve days? What are you thinking?

IRVING:
Look, Balthasar, will you shut up about the plant already? Look, excuse me, we can’t all just go, “Have some gold, here’s a couple ingots for the kid.” Besides, I think it’s very attractive. It’s a plant. It’s nice! It’s red.

MELCHIOR:
Brother, hast thou thought this through? Is thy gift appropriate?

IRVING:
Appropriate? How appropriate is freakin’ MYRRH, Melchior? In fact, what the heck IS myrrh? Do you even know? Besides, I’m talkin’ a good-looking plant here. It’s RED. I mean, after the holidays they can maybe set it out in the yard.

CASPAR:
Yea, verily, and poison all the neighbors’ dogs? Oh, that will make him REAL popular.

IRVING:
Excuse me, Caspar, but I happen to think my gift is MORE appropriate than your stupid frankincense. I mean, you’re gonna scare the kid, that thing with the bolts in his neck.

BALTHASAR:
Lo, I say unto thee, that gift is poisonous! And anyway, it’s cheap.

CASPAR:
I don’t get that bolts-in-the-neck crack.

IRVING:
Cheap? CHEAP? Oh, great, kick a guy because he got rushed and had to pick out the gift in a hurry. Look, YOU were the one told me we couldn’t all bring gold! Besides, I was GONNA bring Godiva chocolates before Mr. He-might-be-allergic here got his undies in a knot—

MELCHIOR:
Verily, we do not want the babe to break out in hives.

CASPAR:
Little scar on the forehead, you can hardly see it, couple bolts, he makes it a Federal case or something—

IRVING:
Look, for a plant, this is a NICE plant. It’s RED!

BALTHASAR:
Irving, verily, ditch the stupid plant.

WISE MEN SQUABBLE AD LIB FOR A FEW SECONDS

BIBLICAL NARRATOR:
[OVERRIDING THEM]: And lo, their contention did last far into the night, when the Angel of the Lord appeared unto them, and they were sore and afraid. And behold, the Angel spake unto them and did say,

ANGEL:
[COULD BE BROOKLYNESE]: Yo! Let’s get a MOVE on, gentlemen, these people have to catch an ass to Egypt, and you know what security’s like these days!

BIBLICAL NARRATOR:
And verily, Balthasar did wax wroth, and Irving did wax miffed—

IRVING:
Mightily miffed.

BIBLICAL NARRATOR:
--and great was the miffage thereof. And yea, in the end, Irving did refuse to go at all. But the other three Wise Men did bring unto the babe their gifts of gold—

MARY:
Oh, how nice. Thank you.

BIBLICAL NARRATOR:
--and frankincense—

MARY:
[NONPLUSSED]: Why, um, thank you. You really shouldn’t have. Um. Thank you.

FRANKINCENSE:
GRRRR….Manger….gooood!

BIBLICAL NARRATOR:
--and myrrh.

MARY:
Oh, we were HOPING that someone would give us some murp.

MELCHIOR:
Well, you’re welcome. Enjoy your MYRRH.

MARY:
…myrrh, I meant, of course. Thank you.

BIBLICAL NARRATOR:
And on the third day did Mary exchange the Frankenstein for frankincense, and everyone was happy. But Irving, to prove a point, did eat of the poinsettia, and lo, he did not surely die—
IRVING:
[NAUSEATED]: But I wouldn’t do it again on a bet. [RETCHES PITIFULLY]

BIBLICAL NARRATOR:
And great was the ralphage thereof. And so today, the poinsettia has come to represent the spirit of a Christmas family get-together. And now, may it be said of all of us, as Irving himself observed—

IRVING:
Myrrh? The heck IS myrrh, anyway? I’ll tell you one thing, it ain’t red! But what IS it? Anybody know? Anybody?

MUSIC: “JINGLE BELLS” ON SEAL HORNS

[Ali Infree]

Then there is the story about holiday travellers in southern West Virginia seeing various manger scenes in yards, churches, etc and noticing three firemen being a part of each creche--Mary, Joseph, BJ, a couple of shepherds, 3 firemen, a camel, a sheep,etc.

Finally, they stop ask about the scene. And they are told that the creche is Biblically accurate. "Teh Bible says that three men came from a fire" (add the appropriate Appalachian accent to make this work.)

Merry Solistice! No, no, here:
It's so much better when it stops.

Ali "rite shere in River City" Infree

[E. Q. Taft]

Right now I'm in the midst of reading Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christs's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore. This is a hilarious account of the years between the nativity and Jesus' baptism by John the Baptist, which is not covered by the other gospels; the plot largely deals with a journey by Joshua (Jesus' real name) and Levi (who is called Biff) to track down the three wise men and learn from them. (Biff goes along basically to keep Joshua out of trouble: "You can't tell lies, so you need me to do it for you.") While I'm sure many serious Christians (and probably Jews) would take offense at some parts, it's actually showing Christ in a pretty darned good light, though it suggests that many of his teachings are derived from sources such as Taoism and Bhuddism (though with Christ's own interpretations). (And some of the teaching goes both ways: when Joshua doesn't want to learn Kung Fu because he refuses to harm anyone, the monks they are staying with invent a new, more purely defensive martial art, which they name Jew-do, the way of the Jew...)

I only mention it here because it does come up with some interesting backstories for the Magi, though nothing, I am quite sure, with any historical basis whatsoever. And because so far it's a terrific read.

[Nonny Mouse]

Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle

concealers to the king.

Because one never knows when the king might need help hiding....

Nonny

[pob14]

Originally Posted by E. Q. Taft

(And some of the teaching goes both ways: when Joshua doesn't want to learn Kung Fu because he refuses to harm anyone, the monks they are staying with invent a new, more purely defensive martial art, which they name Jew-do, the way of the Jew...)

Okay, I need to read this book.

[pob14]

Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle

A hostel of that time had two parts the raised sleeping area in back and the ground level area in the front called a manger. The live stock you traveled with at that time stayed in the same room you and everyone else slept in.

I thought it was fairly well settled that a "manger" is, or was, a feeding trough for the animals - am I wrong?

[Joostik]

For centuries the three Magi or Kings were represented as the three ages: young, middle aged and old. Then, reputedly after a visit to the Pope by envoys of the Emperor of Ethiopia, artists started to depict one of them as Black. This became increasingly popular around 1480. Hence they were seen as representing the continents of Asia, Europe and Africa (the African King is mostly given as Balthazar, sometimes as Caspar; the Asian King usually the older Melchior).

[Avril]

Originally Posted by Tarquin Farquart

It gets a good mark in my book as it features the word "yonder" a much underused word.

"Yonder" is underused? Depends on your part of the world, I suppose. My mother says "yonder" a lot.

Avril

[Chloe]

Originally Posted by Andrew of Ware

Or even,

We three kings of Orient are
Selling knickers at tuppence a pair
How fantastic, no elastic,
Following yonder star.

No, no:

So fantastic, no elastic,
Falling down everywhere.

[Hero_Mike]

On the feast of 3 kings, it is Polish tradition to use a piece of blessed chalk to write "K+M+B+yyyy", where 'yyyy' is the year, on every outside door in your house. It is, I believe, to bring a blessing (and good fortune) to everyone passing through the door. I'm sure it has its roots in some other doorway marking (like the one for Passover), but it's been around for a long, long time.

And in Polish, "Kaspar" is spelled with a "K".