A big snake is preparing to eat you ...

[snopes]

Comment: I've heard this story twice in the last week from two different sources,
typical friend-of-a-friend preamble. since i couldn't find this story on
your site i thought you might like to hear it! in the story a boy (or in
the other version a girl) notices that their large pet snake hasn't been
eating its food. he calls the vet who tells him the snake is probably
fine but to call back if he is still worried. the snake has the run of
the house and usually sleeps curled up at the end of the owner's bed. the
owner notices that the snake is still not eating and has started to lie
full length on the bed deside him at night. he calls the vet again who
asks if there have been any changes in the snakes habits or sleeping
pattern. the owner describes how the snake is sleeping stretched out and
the vet replies, "you must bring in your snake immediately and have it
destroyed. it was starving itself because it wanted to eat you, it lay
beside to see if it was long enough to swallow you yet."
I find the story doubtful and the lack of names and other details
undermines it as well. good story though!

[greenfrog78]

Hmm, I've heard this, but instead of a snake it was a cat, and instead of lying down beside them it looked at it's "owners" with a hungry look in it's eyes.

Except with the cat story, the person wakes up to find the cat has eaten thier face.

The cat's comment was it thought it's owner was dead, but it was mistaken.

The snake one is silly, but the cat one gives me nightmares

[Artemis]

The hell? Who lets their snake have the run of the house? Think of all the snake poop!

[Brad from Georgia]

I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it
One bit.
Oh, woe,
He's up to my toe.
Oh, gee,
He's up to my knee.
Oh, my,
He's up to my thigh.
Oh, flip,
He's up to my hip.
Oh, fiddle,
He's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
He's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
He's up to mmmpffff.....
--Shel Silverstein, I think.

Originally Posted by Brad from Georgia

I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
...

Dang it! You beat me to it!

Originally Posted by Doug4.7

Dang it! You beat me to it!

yep, that would be the late, great Mr. Silverstein for you! I think that one was in "Where the Sidewalk Ends." One of my favorites!

[Mateus]

I thought it was going to be the so-called Army Field Manual instructions on being attacked by a snake:

1. If you see a constrictor approaching, lie down on the ground, keeping your body as straight as possible. DO NOT allow the snake to coil underneath you, in order to avoid being crushed.

2. The snake will begin to swallow you beginning with your feet. DO NOT PANIC. Under no circumstances will the snake be able to bite you at this point. Remain calm and keep your body straight and firm.

3. When the snake has reached your navel, remove your knife from your hip pocket. Turn the knife so that it cuts into the snake's flesh. At this point, the snake cannot reverse its digestive tract. It has no option but to continue swallowing you.

4. When the snake's jaws close around your head, finish cutting your way out of the snake's gut.

5. Don't forget your knife.

[Lunasa]

I heard this one last week, from my BIL's girlfriend. I didn't think to question it, mainly because I didn't want to think about the being-eaten-by-a-snake logic. Still gives me shivers thinking about it.

[Floater]

Originally Posted by Mateus

I thought it was going to be the so-called Army Field Manual instructions on being attacked by a snake:

1. If you see a constrictor approaching, lie down on the ground, keeping your body as straight as possible. DO NOT allow the snake to coil underneath you, in order to avoid being crushed.

2. The snake will begin to swallow you beginning with your feet. DO NOT PANIC. Under no circumstances will the snake be able to bite you at this point. Remain calm and keep your body straight and firm.

3. When the snake has reached your navel, remove your knife from your hip pocket. Turn the knife so that it cuts into the snake's flesh. At this point, the snake cannot reverse its digestive tract. It has no option but to continue swallowing you.

4. When the snake's jaws close around your head, finish cutting your way out of the snake's gut.

5. Don't forget your knife.

The problem with this is that snakes usually swallow their prey head first. I'd suggest you have your knife handy from the start so that you can cut a hole and wiggle out while being swallowed.

[granola shoes]

What a ridiculous load of...

I don't know anyone who lets their snake have the run of the house, and if they do, they're an irresponsible and unknowledgable reptile owner. It's very dangerous for the snake and temperature needs to be regulated carefully for reptiles. Also, no matter how "close" you are with a snake, they don't have it in their nature to curl up at the foot of your bed because they like you so much. It's not a dog.

Second, the way the OP says "the snake hasn't been eating its food" makes it sound like the owners put a bowl of kibble out for the snake. Not exactly how that works.

Third, I can't think of any species of snake normally kept in captivity, that at adult size, could eat a human being. Most snakes are fed chickens, rabbits, and guinea pigs at their largest size. People generally don't keep anacondas as pets.

My BS meter is going off...

[Dutch Angua]

Originally Posted by Brad from Georgia

I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor...
--Shel Silverstein, I think.

YOMANK!
Never seen/heard it before. LOVE IT!

[shivaskeeper]

Wow. Just, wow. Not anywhere close to how the big snakes hunt or eat. But you all knew that already.

But Granola Shoes, there are large constrictors in private collections that can kill an adult human, and kill and eat children. They are not that uncommon. I have a Burmese Python and a Reticulated Python in my collection. The burm is a bit over 15ft and the retic is pushing 12ft and starting to bulk up a bit. Both are still growing. Anacondas are a bit more rare in private collections, but they are still there. As for the normal meals, scratch the guinea pigs from the list. They don't get much larger than rats and their nutritional value isn't that good. Chicken, duck, turkey, goose, rabbit, pig and goat are more more likely for the biggest pet snakes.

As for letting a snakes have run of the house, in a purely anecdotal statement, it used to be more common than it is now, but it still happens. We responsible owners try to stop things like than when we find about about it. If for no other reason than it's bad publicity for the hobby when someone gets attacked or killed by a pet snake. Bad publicity ends up with more and more restrictions on the hobby.

shivaskeeper

[granola shoes]

Hey, I said "normally"

I know that Burmese and Retics can get up in the 20-foot neighborhood, but even the full grown ones I've seen don't look like they could handle something as large and girthy* as a human. And I'm not doubting it could happen, but this telling in particular isn't normal behavior for the snake (i.e. lying next to the human to see if it could fit...snakes don't have quite that level of intelligence!! "Hmm...nope, just a hair too short. Better wait another month 'til I eat Jim."), as you already acknowledged.




*hee hee

[Izzy Quigley]

I've heard that snakes are rarely able to swallow a whole human because with the way our shoulders stick out, they can't swallow much beyond the head and neck. (Of course if they get that far it probably wouldn't be much of a comfort that they can't swallow all of you.) Does anybody else know whether this is true?

Slightly OT: One of my profs told a story about a friend who kept a large python in her (the friend's) apartment. One day the python escaped, and she couldn't find it anywhere.

So she moved.

[Broken Sword]

Originally Posted by Izzy Quigley

I've heard that snakes are rarely able to swallow a whole human because with the way our shoulders stick out, they can't swallow much beyond the head and neck. (Of course if they get that far it probably wouldn't be much of a comfort that they can't swallow all of you.) Does anybody else know whether this is true?

That's basically true. The absolutely largest snakes (maybe a 25'+ retic or a 20'+ anaconda) might have a chance of swallowing the average adult man. A small man or woman might be able to be taken by slightly smaller anacondas, retics, burmese, or african rock pythons. And, of course, children could be taken by smaller pythons. Boa constrictors have little heads and it would take a pretty big boa to even eat a baby.

Never forget, though, that big snakes don't kill by swallowing. I wouldn't personally handle a 15' python by myself because of the outside chance that it could constrict me, even if there was no way that it would ever swallow me.

[Broken Sword]

Originally Posted by Izzy Quigley

Slightly OT: One of my profs told a story about a friend who kept a large python in her (the friend's) apartment. One day the python escaped, and she couldn't find it anywhere.

So she moved.

Unless it escaped outside or into the walls somewhere, I can't think of how you possibly "couldn't find" a large python in an apartment. I've had a few escapees (and have been called over to find other people's escapees), but while I did lose a 2' long ringneck snake once, I have a hard time believing it possible that someone couldn't find their python. And it would need an open window/door or a fairly decent sized hole to get into walls/outdoors.

[Izzy Quigley]

Originally Posted by Broken Sword

Unless it escaped outside or into the walls somewhere, I can't think of how you possibly "couldn't find" a large python in an apartment. I've had a few escapees (and have been called over to find other people's escapees), but while I did lose a 2' long ringneck snake once, I have a hard time believing it possible that someone couldn't find their python. And it would need an open window/door or a fairly decent sized hole to get into walls/outdoors.

I assumed that it got into the walls somehow. It's possible she was exaggerating.

[Artemis]

And she just moved? Seriously? Wouldn't someone in that situation call animal control--if not for herself, at least for the other people in the building.

[franjava]

Originally Posted by Brad from Georgia

I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it
One bit.
Oh, woe,
He's up to my toe.
Oh, gee,
He's up to my knee.
Oh, my,
He's up to my thigh.
Oh, flip,
He's up to my hip.
Oh, fiddle,
He's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
He's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
He's up to mmmpffff.....
--Shel Silverstein, I think.

And "sung" by Roger Whittaker.
I think the OP is bull-puckey.

[damian]

Originally Posted by snopes

it lay beside to see if it was long enough to swallow you yet

It was starving itself longer ???

No snake I've ever seen or heard about would pass up the chance of a feed. They would never go hungry if there were any food around.

The story doesn't mention what type of snake it is, but if it is only around 6 foot long, it is hardly big enough to eat a person.

Also, most snakes would be more likely to curl up under the blankets.

There is so much wrong with this story.........