Heavenly Voice Mail

[Elkhound]

I don't know if this should be here or under Religion, but:

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy with worship and praises right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy Spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial code 666