How to Fight Monkeys

[Tarquin Farquart]

The deputy mayor of New Delhi, India, fell off his balcony and died Sunday after being attacked by monkeys, his family members say. The city has around 10,000 monkeys, some of which have taken to roaming through government buildings as they steal food and rip apart documents. What should you do if monkeys are picking on you?

http://www.slate.com/id/2176419/nav/fix/

[Jay Tea]

I've only ever had one dangerous encounter with monkeys and that was solved with a rifle. We 'saw' monkeys in Dehli but had no truck with them, I would not want to find myself on the wrong end of those gits, though I have to confess i'd be more inclined to carry mace and a collapsible baton that give them my lunch - I don't think that approach would go down well with those that hold these wee muggers sacred

[Morrigan]

I'm more worried about velociraptors, personally.

Morrigan

[SatansHobbit]

Primatologists will sometimes send a macaque warning signal called the open-mouth threat. Basically, form an "O" with your mouth, lean toward them with your body and head, and raise your eyebrows.

"We get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet."

Aggressive city monkeys will give you lots of warnings before an actual fight breaks out.

I considered putting this in my signature, but taken out of context this could really get somebody into trouble...

[Skeptic]

I saw several signs in Indian hotels which said, "Please keep windows closed to keep out the monkeys".

[Bryan With a 'Y']

Originally Posted by Rowsdower!

I considered putting this in my signature, but taken out of context this could really get somebody into trouble...

But what do you call them if they're on your porch?


Hey, I'm takin' it back!

[Tasmanian Devil]

Originally Posted by SatansHobbit

"We get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet."

Dammit, you beat me to it...

By quite a few months too, I see... d'oh!