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  #1  
Old 18 January 2007, 12:13 AM
KateJones
 
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Icon215 Letter from God

As a newly registered user, (yay me) I give to you this......enjoy!



To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject:YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God.Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.
P.S.
And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself !! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.


Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
Now, you have a nice day,

God
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  #2  
Old 18 January 2007, 12:28 AM
lazerus the duck
 
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Quote:
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself !! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME.
OK god I can't afford my rent and coucil tax, thanks for taking care of it for me. I'll address any further problems with bills direct to you.
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  #3  
Old 18 January 2007, 12:32 AM
Fiver
 
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Dear God,
I think I'll actually try to handle things by myself, thanks.

PS
Should you be in a situation where someone won't follow your advice, think of the poor god that no one follows anymore.
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  #4  
Old 18 January 2007, 12:56 AM
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Dropbear Dropbear is offline
 
Join Date: 03 June 2005
Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Posts: 7,236
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Dear God,

thanks for the offer but I'll pass on your help - perhaps this will allow you to concentrate on other issues like say, oooh I don't know - religious wars? floods/fires/famine/snow-storms? plagues? the odd tsunami?

Have you heard of prioritisation?

So, get off the freaking computer and stop sending me dimwitted memos and do something meaningful.

Dropbear

(and I still don't want that donut)

Kate Jones - welcome!
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  #5  
Old 19 January 2007, 12:20 AM
KateJones
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dropbear View Post

Kate Jones - welcome!

Thanks
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  #6  
Old 19 January 2007, 01:22 AM
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One-Fang One-Fang is offline
 
 
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Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
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I tried the SFGTD approach one year.

My car started making a horrible sound. I didn't call a mechanic, I put it in my SFGTD box. I got made redundant, but I didn't need to worry about getting another job, I put it in my SFGTD box. After a while, since we hadn't obviously met God's time yet, I had trouble paying the rent. But I didn't despair, the trusty SFGTD box is always close! When I couldn't drive the car any more because it literally blew up one day, I didn't worry what to do about it there, in the middle of the highway. I called on my SFGTD box and just left it there. The fine duly arrived for abandoning a car on a highway, but I just stuffed the fine into my SFGTD box, since He obviously didn't do that one yet, so He could handle the fine.

I'm doing fine now. No job, no house, no car. But I don't worry about these things. That's for God to do. I'm sure He'll find me a place to stay, and a job, and then I can afford a car. I just need to wait for His Time.
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  #7  
Old 19 January 2007, 11:44 PM
Zamboni_Rodeo
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous pCm Glurger
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself !! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by One-Fang View Post
I'm doing fine now. No job, no house, no car. But I don't worry about these things. That's for God to do. I'm sure He'll find me a place to stay, and a job, and then I can afford a car. I just need to wait for His Time.
A man said to God, "What's a million years to you?" and God said, "A second."
So the man said to God, "What's a million dollars to you?" and God said, "A penny."
So the man said to God, "Will you give me a penny?" and God said, "Yes I will, in a second."

What I really want to know is, whatever happened to the old adage about God helping those who help themselves?

--Zamboni "Help! This glurge is making me spout glurge!" Rodeo
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  #8  
Old 20 January 2007, 01:03 AM
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rockland6674 rockland6674 is offline
 
Join Date: 28 December 2002
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,111
Throw Tomato

Quote:
Originally Posted by KateJones View Post
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself !!
If life hands you lemons, start a food fight.

- rock "FOOOOOD FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!" land
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  #9  
Old 20 January 2007, 04:42 AM
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MapleLeaf MapleLeaf is offline
 
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Location: Toronto, ON
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Quote:
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Lots of paraplegics have the opportunity to take a walk. It's the inability to do so that gets to them. Normally I would excuse such an error in terminology, but it's FREAKIN' GOD we're talking about here!
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  #10  
Old 20 January 2007, 05:48 PM
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DevilBunny DevilBunny is offline
 
Join Date: 20 February 2002
Location: Newbury, UK
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Quote:
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
I followed that particular piece of advice at the end of my last relationship. I envied that lucky loveless sod for days...
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  #11  
Old 23 January 2007, 04:48 PM
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zman977 zman977 is offline
 
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Location: La Salle, IL
Posts: 3,010
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Received this one in the email the other day.


I heard God is sending emails to everyone who has been good and following his word. Did you get yours ?

Me niether.
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  #12  
Old 23 January 2007, 04:51 PM
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Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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Location: Toronto, ON
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Computer

Quote:
Originally Posted by zman977 View Post
I heard God is sending emails to everyone who has been good and following his word. Did you get yours ?
I did, but I'm trying to figure out whether God is being entirely serious with the whole "forward this to 10 people and I'll pay you $245 per forward" bit at the end.

You know God: The Eternal Prankster.
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  #13  
Old 23 January 2007, 05:57 PM
methuselah
 
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Icon215

Quote:
Originally Posted by KateJones View Post
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself !! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.
I'm immediately reminded of someone's sig line: "Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give a man religion and he'll starve to death waiting for God to give him a fish."
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  #14  
Old 23 January 2007, 09:35 PM
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bufungla bufungla is offline
 
Join Date: 13 June 2001
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,288
Icon18

Quote:
Originally Posted by methuselah View Post
I'm immediately reminded of someone's sig line: "Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give a man religion and he'll starve to death waiting for God to give him a fish."
That would be rangerdog

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zamboni_Rodeo View Post
What I really want to know is, whatever happened to the old adage about God helping those who help themselves?
It's a pagan saying (specifically from Aesop's "Hercules and the Waggoner").

buf 'not that that keeps True Believers from quoting it like it was Scripture' ungla
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  #15  
Old 23 January 2007, 10:17 PM
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diddy diddy is offline
 
Join Date: 07 March 2004
Location: Plymouth, MN
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Quote:
I'm sure He'll find me a place to stay, and a job, and then I can afford a car. I just need to wait for His Time.
Well when they arrest you you will stay in jail, work at making license plates. As for the car, well that is a toughie... 2 out of three aint bad...
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  #16  
Old 23 January 2007, 10:50 PM
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ganzfeld ganzfeld is offline
 
Join Date: 05 September 2005
Location: Kyoto, Japan
Posts: 22,952
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Quote:
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
Oh yeah? Speak for yourself. I happen to be a jobless, loveless, paraplegic woman working 18 hours a day in a sweatshop only to die before I can even comprehend the meaning of the question "What is my purpose?" Who the hell am I supposed to think of? Oh, and thanks a lot, "God".
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  #17  
Old 24 January 2007, 05:18 AM
Kid Kilowatt Kid Kilowatt is offline
 
 
Join Date: 12 August 2005
Location: East Greenwich, RI
Posts: 271
Icon27

This just happened to me today. Those bastards at Wendy's put mayo on my Spicy Chicken Sandwich, when I specifically ordered it without mayo, and as I threw it away, I thought of someone who did not have a Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich. And I thought, God is awesome.
But not awesome enough to prevent mayo on my sandwich.
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  #18  
Old 24 January 2007, 07:56 PM
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TrishDaDish TrishDaDish is offline
 
Join Date: 22 February 2004
Location: Portsmouth, RI
Posts: 7,729
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Quote:
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
And when I'm stranded in a deep snow drift during a blizzard and no one can see me or knows I'm missing - just miles away! - and I'm slowly dying over a matter of days from hypothermia, I'll be sure to remember how lucky I am compared to some guy who wishes they were able to walk.
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  #19  
Old 26 January 2007, 07:40 PM
joykyleaudi
 
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thank-you...
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  #20  
Old 26 January 2007, 08:58 PM
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Jay Temple Jay Temple is offline
 
Join Date: 25 September 2003
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 9,104
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KateJones View Post
I do Not need your help.

God
Tell that to my four unborn children, seeing as how they're with You now.
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