Wet Pants

[TrishDaDish]

WET PANTS

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and
inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!"

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good.


Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.


Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

My instructions were to pick four (4) people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you. Please pass this to at least four (4) people you want to be blessed.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.


The prayer:

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.

[Artemis]

Ah, but what about the poor dead goldfish?

[Canuckistan]

My instructions were to pick four (4) people that I wanted God to bless

The rest can go to hell for all I care. What have they done for me lately?

[Johnny Slick]

Originally Posted by Artemis

Ah, but what about the poor dead goldfish?

Goldfish go to hell. The Bible told me so.

[One-Fang]

What is it with this "God is getting ready" crap I've been reading so much lately? God is omnipotent. He's always ready. It makes it sound like God wants to help, but he needs some time to prepare first, he can't do anything for me Right Now. Kinda weak god these people have.

[Dropbear]

All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk.

In the puddle of diluted urine - thinking its just water. And the teacher lets them..

Dropbear

[Hyper Squirrel]

Originally Posted by Dropbear

In the puddle of diluted urine - thinking its just water. And the teacher lets them..

Dropbear

Also, real third graders wouldn't do a damn thing--they'd wait for the janitor to show up. Trust me, I remember

[Amigone201]

Originally Posted by Hyper Squirrel

Also, real third graders wouldn't do a damn thing--they'd wait for the janitor to show up. Trust me, I remember

I bet you do, it wasn't all that long ago!

Here, wait, I deserve this.

[MapleLeaf]

Sorry - why is a third grader walking around the classroom with the goldfish bowl?

[Hyper Squirrel]

Originally Posted by Amigone201

I bet you do, it wasn't all that long ago!

Here, wait, I deserve this.

Only seven years ago... I hate how young I am!

Originally Posted by MapleLeaf

Sorry - why is a third grader walking around the classroom with the goldfish bowl?

Since when does glurge make sense? I half expected for angels and puppies to show up.

[Stoneage Dinosaur]

Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat!

I notice he doesn't actually ask God in his prayer, yet God immediately grants his demand, leaving poor Susie to take all the flak.

[Amigone201]

Originally Posted by Hyper Squirrel

Only seven years ago... I hate how young I am!

That's a whole 'nother story. This isn't the place for it, but there are both good and bad things. The trick is to figure out which ones you can exploit

Originally Posted by Stoneage Dinosaur

I notice he doesn't actually ask God in his prayer, yet God immediately grants his demand, leaving poor Susie to take all the flak.

Oh, that's because Susie wasn't as pious as this kid. Or, maybe she was, and this was God testing Susie. Or something.

[vison]

Originally Posted by Stoneage Dinosaur

I notice he doesn't actually ask God in his prayer, yet God immediately grants his demand, leaving poor Susie to take all the flak.

I'm not sure what kind of language is allowed here in Snopesia, so I won't use the words that spring to mind. Evidently Susie was on someone's s**tlist, cuz she took the fall. Nice god.

Is there, like, a farm or a secret factory somewhere where they make this stuff? Has anyone ever been there and lived to tell the tale? I think, myself, that David Icke and the 12 foot Evil Alien Reptiles have a lot to answer for . . . . .

Whatever else I could say, I have to note that I like this line:

Originally Posted by TrishDaDish

Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

[Spamamander]

Originally Posted by Amigone201

I bet you do, it wasn't all that long ago!

Here, wait, I deserve this.

Well, at least now we know who the evil bastard was who picked up the dying goldfish...

[Mickey Blue]

Of course God couldn't be bothered to help the millions suffering from starvation, the hundreds of thousands of homless, the countless people dying of incurable disease.. But some punk kid wets his pants and BAM, Gods there to help sort it all out.. Sorta like that woman who's car was "running on Jesus".

Maybe thats the reason the world is in the state its in, our diety is too busy covering up urine and filling up gas tanks to get any real work done..

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good.

So the next time I see somebody wet themselves I should throw a bucket of water on em?

[Canuckistan]

Originally Posted by Mickey Blue

Of course God couldn't be bothered to help the millions suffering from starvation, the hundreds of thousands of homless, the countless people dying of incurable disease.. But some punk kid wets his pants and BAM, Gods there to help sort it all out..

Of course He is, Mickey. It's the world's number 1 problem.

[marrya]

Originally Posted by trollface

Whatever else I could say, I have to note that I like this line:

So, what, if you stand in your garage, and really really mean it....

[marrya]

waffley waffles with wafflishness

[Mint Crisps]

I guess I must keep a goldfish bowl full of water near me at all times, lest I wet my pants or bed. I'll just dump the water into the bed/pants and say,
"Oh, I was drinking in my sleep and spilt the water all over me."