Electron imbalance affects Internet

[snopes]

Comment: I've recieved this email from two of my less-tech-savvy friends
and immediately knew it was a joke. However, I can see how people who
don't really follow technology could fall for it. here it is:

****Please read this message carefully, it could even
save lives****

There is a phenomenon cropping up lately that is
coming perilously close to bringing down the internet
permanently and harming many people. It is called
"Electron Imbalance" and is caused by large masses of
people accessing the same internet sites within a
short period of time. The result is that billions of
volts of electricity are drained from the electrical
grid that powers the website as electrons carrying
that site's data are sent off to other places around
the world. Dr. Raymond Herschel of Rutgers University
explains that this global imbalance of electricity in
the internet can have dangerous consequences. "Imagine
the electricity of a million lighting bolts snapping
from internet users back to the electron-drained
internet servers. The outcome would be disasterous as
data lines would sizzle and melt under the shock.
Personal computers would be fried and people standing
nearby would almost certainly be injured or even
killed."

Barbara Mikkelson, editor of the popular fact-checking
website snopes.com, has reported that negative
balances of electron are already affecting her site.
"My site is particularly vulnerable as there are often
huge waves of people visiting whenever they hear a
piece of information that they want to verify. The
brown-outs during these information rushes are bad,
but the real challenge is dealing with the power
surges after the interest dies down and all those
electrons spark back causing all kinds of problems."

The solution, proposed by the Department of
Telecommunications director, Mark Eddings, is
two-fold. First, use restraint and patience when
wishing to confirm those e-mails that get passed from
person to person. This will spread out the electron
imbalance, giving time for electrons to naturally and
gradually move to areas of low concentration. Second,
pass this e-mail on to as many people as possible.
This will not only inform others of this grave issue,
but it will also disperse pockets of built-up
electrons in your own computer by sending some of them
off to other people; leveling out the global
imbalance.

Please forward this email to everyone you know!

[hambubba]

A new entry for TROLL?

It's good.

[Ieuan ab Arthur]

Hi All:

Talk about a lost opportunity. This would have been the perfect setup for an internet version of the old "steam cleaning the telephone lines" prank.

Ta ra 'wan,

Ieuan "there's one born every minute" ab Arthur

[Troberg]

Well, even if one ignores the need for an electric circuit, it still don't make sense.

The importance of not bending cables is very real though. The zeroes slip through easily enough, they are nice and round, but the straight ones tend to get stuck in the bends.

[trlkly]

I think this would actually make a cool "Lost Legend."

[Arriah]

There ARE a limited amount of electrons in the world (and universe) but the number is so big there is no danger of running out. Kindof like mosquitos or dog hairs that end up under my desk...

[FullMetal]

what's funny is the vast majority of the internet backplane isn't electrical impulses over copper, but light impulses over fibre optic cabling.

[RichardM]

Originally Posted by FullMetal

what's funny is the vast majority of the internet backplane isn't electrical impulses over copper, but light impulses over fibre optic cabling.

No wonder most computer users are in the dark.