Did I read that sign right?

[Floater]

Got these gems from a friend yesterday:

In a London Store
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

[Scout]

They made me giggle. Got quite a few funny looks from the people who happened to be walking past my office at the time.

Scout.

[Tarquin Farquart]

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

I think this one is a deliberate pun. Pretty funny though.

[Eddylizard]

From our work break room, posted by the cantten manageress Carol.

PLEASE RETURN ALL CUPS AND PLATES TO THE CANTEEN CAROL!

To which someone added

YES CAROL YOU SLACKER.

[Andrew of Ware]

Often seen in remote villages and farms: DEAD SLOW CHILDREN.

[Eddylizard]

I like those signs as you exit a village:

THANK YOU FOR DRIVING CAREFULLY.

Ho-ho suckers, I didn't.

[forcadragons]

Originally Posted by Andrew of Ware

Often seen in remote villages and farms: DEAD SLOW CHILDREN.

Jimmy Carr Joke :

I saw a sign outside a special needs school that said SLOW CHILDREN. That's not going to do much for their self-confidence.

[jw]

Similar, Andrew. As seen on a entrance road to the golf club in Co. Wicklow.

Caution
Slow
Children

I was going to use this for last weeks photo challenge, but I couldn't get down in time.

[JessBoo]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

From our work break room, posted by the cantten manageress Carol.

PLEASE RETURN ALL CUPS AND PLATES TO THE CANTEEN CAROL!

To which someone added

YES CAROL YOU SLACKER.

blahblahblah

[Dr. Winston O'Boogie]

Originally Posted by Floater

Got these gems from a friend yesterday:

A number of years ago, National Lampoon published a picture of a corral with a sign on it reading:

If you jump this fence, you had better be able to cross this field in 9.9 seconds.
The bull can do it in 10.

[amorrison50]

There are a number of guard dog signs like that too: "The (insert dog breed here) can make it to the fence in 3 seconds. Can you?"

They usually include a drawing of the dog with blood on its mouth for dramatic effect.

[nancyfancypants]

Okay, so should I just stay in this spot?

[Silas Sparkhammer]

Every time I see the phrase, "Void Where Prohibited," my mental response is: "I often do."

That is also my mental response to "Slow Trucks."

Silas

[Chloe]

The restroom near my office at my old job had a handwritten sign that said "Please remove unwanted hair from sink." Someone added, "Leave wanted hair."

It's not the only reason I took the job, but it helped.

[Roadie]

There's a road in my town that is a dead end, and it is signed "Dead End".

At the end of the road is the cemetary.

[Eddylizard]

Sign erected anonymously in our work toilet.

WILL THE DIRTY BASTARD WHO KEEPS LEAVING THIS TOILET IN SUCH A MESS PLEASE CLEAN UP AFTER HIMSELF. ALTERNATIVELY CAN WE REQUEST THAT HE GOES AND SHITS DOWN BY THE RAILWAY LINE.

I saw a van once in London, on which was painted:

PATEL & PATEL, BUILDERS. YOU'VE TRIED THE COWBOYS, NOW TRY THE INDIANS.

On one of those tanker lorries that empty septic tanks

XYZ LTD - WE SHIFT **IT

Originally Posted by nancyfancypants

Okay, so should I just stay in this spot?

For about 2 months the next street over from me featured two one way arrows at opposite ends of the block. They both pointed outwards.

[Jay Temple]

Originally Posted by forcadragons

Jimmy Carr Joke :

I saw a sign outside a special needs school that said SLOW CHILDREN. That's not going to do much for their self-confidence.

I don't know whether this is the same comedian, but I recall someone saying that it was nice to know that those children found work, because he sees signs that say SLOW MEN AT WORK.

[imjustasteph]

At the dump, there are these plastic carts, or perhaps more like bins on wheels, for recyclables. A sign says "Place recyclables in bin and leave here."

We have discussed many times whether they think that a person was going to put them in the bin and take the bin with them, or if 'leave here' means 'and when you're done, get the heck out!!"

[damian]

I saw a sign that said "Wet Paint", so I did.