Pregnant Teen Daughter Is Victim of Sexual Ignorance

[snopes]

DEAR ABBY: Here's one for the books on parental stupidity. When my daughter, "Marissa," began to reach her teen years, her father -- in an attempt to be funny -- advised her that she could keep from becoming pregnant by putting an aspirin between her knees and keeping it there.

My stupidity was assuming that sex education and pregnancy prevention were taught in her school. I never broached the subject with her.

Marissa became pregnant at 15. The young man she was seeing told her she couldn't get pregnant in a swimming pool because the chlorine would kill the sperm. Have you heard that before? Needless to say, the inevitable result was a baby.

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20070718

[Eddylizard]

I would have thought the inevitable result would be a swift call to security and to be banned from the swimming pool.

[Astra]

Wow, great example of responsible parenting there, too.

[mags]

I think she was a victim of poor parenting. A combination of expecting the schools to parent, and a lack of attention to / interest in how their daughter was spending her time.

My stupidity was assuming that sex education and pregnancy prevention were taught in her school. I never broached the subject with her.

No,your stupidity was never talking about it to your daughter yourself. It really irks me when lazy parents think school will teach everything their kids need to know and then get surprised when said kids grow up missing important values.

[STF]

Why should I share any responsibility for my child? I mean the school has got it covered.

That seems to be the attitude of the "Marissa's" mother and it's pathetic.

she could keep from becoming pregnant by putting an aspirin between her knees and keeping it there.

She obviously followed her father's advice, she just didn't know that aspirin would dissolve in water.

[DemonWolf]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

I would have thought the inevitable result would be a swift call to security and to be banned from the swimming pool.

The pool at my house does not have security personel and I am free to have all the sex I want there.

[diddy]

Have you heard that before?

Yes and this is why we need good sex education in schools. Kids don't seem to be paying any attention to abstinence only education. When all they get is the message to keep away from "teh sexs!" they don't learn the realities of pregnancy and having sex anyway.

The idiots who promote the garbage of abstinence only education are only deluding themselves into thinking that kids will listen to that idea and feel that it will work. It doesn't work and leads kids into believing in magic pills (like chlorine kills sperm) to prevent pregnancy when they do it anyway. Parents also have to be proactive and honest with their kids too. Schools are a great resource but can only teach you so much for a certain amount of time. Parents who are hesitant about being honest are only harming their children (and parents shouldn't be re-enforcing the idea of abstinence only either)

[Tarquin Farquart]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

I would have thought the inevitable result would be a swift call to security and to be banned from the swimming pool.

I just hoped they cleaned the pool afterwards.

her father -- in an attempt to be funny -- advised her that she could keep from becoming pregnant by putting an aspirin between her knees and keeping it there.

Actually quite effective, if used properly. But like all birth control methods, improper use can cause pregnancy.



-Tim

[zman977]

Originally Posted by Tarquin Farquart

I just hoped they cleaned the pool afterwards.

Isn't there a chemical that when you have sex in a pool it makes a dark circle around you? oops wrong urban legend. That's when you pee in a pool. Have to keep my urban legends straight.

Seriously though, it would have been nice if this mother had realized she was being stupid before her daughter became pregnant. This is a case where better late than never is not the case.

[Christie]

Originally Posted by STF

Why should I share any responsibility for my child? I mean the school has got it covered.

That seems to be the attitude of the "Marissa's" mother and it's pathetic.

Perhaps, but it's hardly unusual and at least she's admitting that she messed up and isn't playing the "sex ed is the reason my kid got pregnant" card.

[imjustasteph]

OTOH, there is no way a kid grew up to teen years without hearing ANY sexual messages. Not in this decade. Not in this CENTURY. She had to have heard that so-and-so was doing so-and-so, that so-and-so was a virgin and wasn't that pitiful, and lots of my-mom-would-freak-if-she-knew.

So, while I agree that the parents ARE responsible for teaching the sex ed, and that these failed, the girl can NOT pretend she had no idea.

[ElectricBarbarella]

I hate to say this, because I wasn't ignorant when it happened--but I can tell you exactly when and where I got pregnant with my oldest--swimming pool at my grandmother's apartment complex--midnight, In August. She was born May 4th.

I've heard the "too many chemicals to get pregnant" thing too, from others. The same with a hot tub--"water's too hot, it'll kill anything"... uhh, yeah sure.

toni

[Lainie]

Originally Posted by imjustasteph

OTOH, there is no way a kid grew up to teen years without hearing ANY sexual messages. Not in this decade. Not in this CENTURY. She had to have heard that so-and-so was doing so-and-so, that so-and-so was a virgin and wasn't that pitiful, and lots of my-mom-would-freak-if-she-knew.

So, while I agree that the parents ARE responsible for teaching the sex ed, and that these failed, the girl can NOT pretend she had no idea.

Having inaccurate and inappropriate information is at least as dangerous as having no information.

[We'veBeenHad]

Originally Posted by imjustasteph

OTOH, there is no way a kid grew up to teen years without hearing ANY sexual messages. Not in this decade. Not in this CENTURY. She had to have heard that so-and-so was doing so-and-so, that so-and-so was a virgin and wasn't that pitiful, and lots of my-mom-would-freak-if-she-knew.

So, while I agree that the parents ARE responsible for teaching the sex ed, and that these failed, the girl can NOT pretend she had no idea.

Yeah, the condom message is pretty ubiquitous. I homeschooled and did teach my kids everything about sex, but my daughter always said that was one thing all her friends knew, at a young age. Some got it in school, others from MTV, but no one failed to know what causes pregnancy or how to prevent it. It would be pretty hard to miss.

[Lainie]

Originally Posted by We'veBeenHad

Yeah, the condom message is pretty ubiquitous. I homeschooled and did teach my kids everything about sex, but my daughter always said that was one thing all her friends knew, at a young age. Some got it in school, others from MTV, but no one failed to know what causes pregnancy or how to prevent it. It would be pretty hard to miss.

I think it would be quite easy to miss detailed messages about the proper use of condoms.

[Christie]

It is vitally important that parents talk to their children about sex because many schools offer only abstinence-based sex education -- which has not slowed the spread of STDs. According to the April 2005 issue of Journal of Adolescent Health, teens who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are more likely to take chances with other kinds of sex that increase the risk of STDs.

Good for Abby for including this in her column!

Which does lead me to wonder though whether this letter is legit. I find it difficult to believe that this woman would assume sex ed was taught at her daughter's schools and she would never have been aware of it. Never once? Pretty difficult to swallow that one, frankly.

[kjbrasda]

You'd be suprised what people believe if they aren't taught sex education at school or at home.
A room mate of mine who was in her early 20's thought you had to poke holes in your nipples with a needle feed a baby. When asked how animals cope, she said "Well, I guess they just gnaw the end off, don't they?"