Frozen squirrel stabbing

[snopes]

Comment: In 1999, I worked with a fellow at Leo Burnett
Advertising who had an article framed on his desk from (I'm pretty sure) a
1992 (?) issue of the Sacramento Bee. (It was one of the "Bee" papers, I
am sure - Modesto, etc.)

This short (maybe 3 column inches) article reported that an Asian couple
in Sacramento, CA had an argument and either the husband or the wife went
to the freezer, took out "one of the frozen squirrels" stored there, and
stabbed the other person! I'm recalling this from memory and wish I'd
copied the article. We were all blown away by the fact that anyone could
use a squirrel as a weapon, but the reason the ad guy had it framed was:
The paper offered only the bare facts and no explanation of why the couple
had frozen squirrels in the freezer. (Here's to burying the lead!)

I've searched the internet, and only found vague references to this on
chat forums, and oddly, many people using the internet ID "Frozen
Squirrel".

Can you verify the story, get the details - whatever you magically do?
I'm in research and can't find anything more about it. I know it takes a
lot of searching, and I hope you have sources better than mine. This has
been driving me crazy for years.

[Cervus]

Hmm...well, when I was in 7th grade I found a squirrel fetus in my driveway. My parents and I decided it was a miscarriage or stillbirth that fell out of the nest. We put it in the freezer so I could take it to school to show my science teacher.

That's the only legitimate reason I've ever known someone to store a dead squirrel in the freezer.

[Wolf333]

I did find this.

[qualli]

there are a lot of reason to freeze squirrels.

Maybe you're going to tan the hide, or its for a science project. Maybe you like squirrel stew (granted that wouldn't require a squirrel skin and all). Maybe you're an alligator farmer and they're special treats for your animals.
Maybe you're starting a frozen squirrel collection.

[Brad from Georgia]

Another reason might be to get revenge for the squirrel's having wrecked your apartment...though now that I think about it, my cat was really more to blame.

[Eddylizard]

When I was younger I dabbled in the art of taxidermy, but before anyone jump on me I only went out looking for animals that were already dead (reasonably intact roadkill, or died for other reasons.) Depending on my good luck, or the creatures bad luck depending on your point of view, I would sometimes have several impending projects in the freezer. I gave it up after a year or two when I realised I was crap at it.

I never found a squirrel, but I did have a frozen weasel once. I'm guessing that as potential weapons they have pretty similar characteristics, and I would have found it pretty difficult to stab someone with my frozen weasel.

For amateur taxidermists - when the book says don't under any circumstances cut into the anal stink gland - believe them! The smell is indescribably foul.

[PurpleCow]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

...I would have found it pretty difficult to stab someone with my frozen weasel...

That line made me giggle way too much.

[greenfrog78]

which she would thaw, pose and refreeze so she could draw them for her books.

I always got a chuckle out of the thought of sweet looking little old Tasha Tudor exclaiming to her Corgi's "Look, we have another beautiful dead mouse to freeze!".

I never found a squirrel, but I did have a frozen weasel once. I'm guessing that as potential weapons they have pretty similar characteristics, and I would have found it pretty difficult to stab someone with my frozen weasel.

Eddylizard I think this could compete with funniest thing said on the internet, ever.

[Eddylizard]

Originally Posted by greenfrog78

Eddylizard I think this could compete with funniest thing said on the internet, ever.

Why thank you. I did put a little work into it - blame it on a childhood spent watching The Benny Hill Show. It wasn't his line, AFAIK I made it up, but the sentiment is the same.

Can you let me know what the competition is? Because right now I really need a laugh.

But back to the OP -

1: I had legitimate, if unsavoury reason for keeping small dead animals in the freezer.

2: I doubt you can stab someone to death with a frozen dead mammal.

Sadly although my weasel is no longer frozen, I have no-one to attempt to stab it with.

[Ms. Congeniality]

My sister has a racoon in her freezer saving it for the Taxidermist..

[Eddylizard]

Originally Posted by Ms. Congeniality

My sister has a racoon in her freezer saving it for the Taxidermist..

I hope you stay friendly with your sister, otherwise she could end up popping a (coonskin) cap in ya!

[Ms. Congeniality]

Originally Posted by Eddylizard

I hope you stay friendly with your sister, otherwise she could end up popping a (coonskin) cap in ya!

She lives in Indiana so I think I"m safe..

[Phaedra]

The chef at the pub my son manages had loads of frozen squirrels in the freezer for a while. He took them off the menu after a week or two because he said the "fuc*ers were a ba*tard to skin". Not sure if he got too many takers for them either.

[Troberg]

Of course you have to have a frozen squirrel. How would you otherwise defend your home? And what would you do if Saddam Hussein invaded your country? I bet not many Kuwaitis had frozen squirrels, so they had to run for help.

I for one support the right to keep and bear frozen squirrels!

[Eddylizard]

Originally Posted by Troberg

Of course you have to have a frozen squirrel. How would you otherwise defend your home? And what would you do if Saddam Hussein invaded your country? I bet not many Kuwaitis had frozen squirrels, so they had to run for help.

I for one support the right to keep and bear frozen squirrels!

From what I've been told, the Kuwaiti army did in fact have a substantial number of frozen squirrels. Sadly like some other arms it was discovered that they did not stand up well to hot desert conditions, rapidly deteriorating to a combat ineffective non-frozen state.

The Iraqi army on the other hand were equipped with the much more reliable frozen weasel, and portable refrigeration equipment.

I for one support the right to keep and arm frozen bears.