MySpace Fines

[MidgardDragon]

A bulletin posted on MySpace asking you to total up your "offences". I'm posting it along with my answers and total.

Total up your offences and see what you owe

ever had sex in a funeral home -- $100 - No
Smoked pot -- $60 - No
Did acid -- $80 - No
Ever had sex at church -- $200 - Technically? Can it be $100 for getting oral in the parking lot?
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40 - No
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $155 - No

Had sex for money -- $100 - Hmm, I'm not sure if I can say no to this. I have had sex with someone in order to get dinner, a movie, and several drinks, but I enjoyed the sex just for the sex as well. I'll say $50 on this one because it's half right.
Ever had sex with the love of your life -- $100 - No
Vandalized something -- $20 - No

Had sex on your parents bed -- $124 - Yes, more than once. *blushes*
Beat up someone -- $20 - No

Been jumped -- $10 - No
Crossed dressed -- $10 - No

Given money to stripper -- $25 - No
Been in love with a stripper -- $20 - No
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10 - No
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15 - Yes
Ever drive drunk -- $20 - Massively ashamed of this one, but yes. I got lucky in that I and my companion arrived home safely, but I would never condone it.
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50 - No

Used toys while having sex -- $30 - Yes
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20 - No

Went skinny dipping -- $5 - No

Had sex in a pool -- $20 - No
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10 - No

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20 - No
Cheated on your significant other -- $10 - Yes, in high school, only once. She never found out, but I would never do it again simply because it made me feel so bad.
Masturbated -- $10 - I'm gonna charge myself $20 for this one, just to be safe.

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20 - No
Done oral -- $5 - Yes

Got oral -- $5 - Yes

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25 - Yes, fun times, but it's not an easy thing to do!

Stole something -- $10 - Yes

Had sex with someone in jail -- $25 - No
Made a nasty home video -- $15 - Yes

Had a threesome -- $50 - No
Had sex in the wild -- $20 - If by in the wild this means outdoors, then yes, or at least gotten head outside.
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25 - No

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20 - No
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20 - No
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25 - No
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50 - Yes, *sigh*. No further comment.
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25 - Yes

Went streaking -- $5 - No

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15 - No
Been arrested -- $5 - No
Spent time in jail -- $15 - No

Played spin the bottle -- $5 - No

Done something you regret -- $20 - Yes

Had sex with your best friend -- $20 - Yes
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25 - Yes (I worked with my now ex-wife at a few different jobs. Actually, now I'm not sure on this one. If it means "done it at work" then no. If it just means "had sex with a coworker, then yes.

Had anal s ex -- $80 - No
Lied to your mate -- $5 - Yes

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25 - No

Not sure if it's right or not, but I'm not willing to check my math on something this stupid: 594

[Cervus]

ever had sex in a funeral home -- $100 - No
Smoked pot -- $60 - Yes
Did acid -- $80 - No
Ever had sex at church -- $200 - No
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40 - No
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $155 - No

Had sex for money -- $100 - No
Ever had sex with the love of your life -- $100 - No
Vandalized something -- $20 - Yes

Had sex on your parents bed -- $124 - No
Beat up someone -- $20 - To what extent? I've never sent anyone to the ER, but I've been in some fistfights, so I'll say Yes.

Been jumped -- $10 - No
Crossed dressed -- $10 - Yes, although this wouldn't be as odd for a woman, I think.

Given money to stripper -- $25 - No
Been in love with a stripper -- $20 - No
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10 - Yes
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15 - No
Ever drive drunk -- $20 - Yes. While underage, no less. Very stupid.
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50 - Yes Ashamed to admit it, but I accidentally went to work drunk once. I'd forgotten I had to work that day.

Used toys while having sex -- $30 - Yes
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20 - Yes

Went skinny dipping -- $5 - No

Had sex in a pool -- $20 - No
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10 - Yes

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20 - No
Cheated on your significant other -- $10 - Yes
Masturbated -- $10 - Of course

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20 - No
Done oral -- $5 - Yes

Got oral -- $5 - Yes

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25 - No
Stole something -- $10 - Yes

Had sex with someone in jail -- $25 - No
Made a nasty home video -- $15 - No

Had a threesome -- $50 - No
Had sex in the wild -- $20 - No
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25 - No

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20 - No
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20 - No
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25 - No
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50 - Yes
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25 - Yes

Went streaking -- $5 - No

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15 - No
Been arrested -- $5 - Yes
Spent time in jail -- $15 - No

Played spin the bottle -- $5 - No

Done something you regret -- $20 - Yes

Had sex with your best friend -- $20 - Yes
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25 - No (though not for lack of trying)
Had anal s ex -- $80 - No
Lied to your mate -- $5 - Yes

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25 - No

$415.

And, um, every illegal I've admitted to is something I absolutely regret and would never do again. They were indescretions of youth and I have seen the error of my ways and repented. Of course.

[Buckle Up]

This seems inconsistent...what is "ever had sex with the love of your life" doing in a list of what appear to be fine-worthy offenses?

edited to fix typo

[MidgardDragon]

Originally Posted by Buckleupp

This seems inconsistent...what is "ever had sex with the love of your life" doing in a list of what appear to be fine-worthy offenses?

edited to fix typo

I thought the same thing, but with bulletins posted on MySpace, I tend not to ask too many questions. :x

[Mad Jay]

That list forgot one thing

spending way too much time on MySpace - declare bankruptcy, go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200

[Canuckistan]

Originally Posted by Buckleupp

This seems inconsistent...what is "ever had sex with the love of your life" doing in a list of what appear to be fine-worthy offenses?

For that matter, what is getting kissed by someone of the same sex doing there?

FWIW, my fine is $825. I thought it'd be much higher.

[remarkgullabull]

Ummm... let's see here, that'd be ::: mumbles to self :::: nine, carry the one, 652 plus another ....


Oh hell, forget it. I'd be broke!

[KathyB]

This sounds like the Father Guido Sarducci routine, where he explains that

Life is a job. You get $14.50 a day, but after you die, you have to pay for your sins. Stealing a hub cap is around $100. Masturbation is 35 cents... If there's money left when you subtract what you owe from what you've earned, you can go to heaven

Imagine, he says, showing up at the Pearly Gates and discovering that you are 35 cents short.

$150. The biggest chunk came from the "had sex with the love of your life". Well duh? Who do you think my wife is?

[Fiver]

Total up your offences and see what you owe

ever had sex in a funeral home -- $100 - No
Smoked pot -- $60 - yes
Did acid -- $80 - No
Ever had sex at church -- $200 - no
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40 - No
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $155 - No

Had sex for money -- $100 - no
Ever had sex with the love of your life -- $100 - No
Vandalized something -- $20 - yes

Had sex on your parents bed -- $124 - no
Beat up someone -- $20 - No

Been jumped -- $10 - No
Crossed dressed -- $10 - yes, but it was for school.

Given money to stripper -- $25 - No
Been in love with a stripper -- $20 - No
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10 - No
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15 - no
Ever drive drunk -- $20 - no
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50 - No

Used toys while having sex -- $30 - no
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20 - yes
Went skinny dipping -- $5 - No

Had sex in a pool -- $20 - No
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10 - No, but (and this is the gayer part of me speaking) I plan on that changing on Saturday

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20 - No
Cheated on your significant other -- $10 - no
Masturbated -- $10 - but of course

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20 - No
Done oral -- $5 - no

Got oral -- $5 - no

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25 - no
Stole something -- $10 - Yes

Had sex with someone in jail -- $25 - no
Made a nasty home video -- $15 - no

Had a threesome -- $50 - no
Had sex in the wild -- $20 - no
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25 - No, but only across a door, and there were thin, thin walls. We were just watching TV, and then the sounds came...

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20 - no
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20 - No
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25 - No
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50 - no

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25 - no

Went streaking -- $5 - sort of

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15 - sort of
Been arrested -- $5 - No
Spent time in jail -- $15 - No

Played spin the bottle -- $5 - No

Done something you regret -- $20 - Yes

Had sex with your best friend -- $20 - no
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25 -no
Had anal s ex -- $80 - no
Lied to your mate -- $5 - Yes

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25 - No

$155. Mind you I'm only a naive, innocent 18 year old

[rhiandmoi]

Wow. I thought I was an innocent, but I would be fined $610.

[TheNinthSign]

I have to pay $215...

[Natiam]

989 -yikes - I did a lot of things for attention between the ages of 16 and 19.

[KaiTheInvader]

ever had sex in a funeral home -- $100 - No
Smoked pot -- $60 - yes
Did acid -- $80 - yes
Ever had sex at church -- $200 - yes
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40 - dunno, I've had trouble remembering their name though, does that count?
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $155 - not literally on it, but yes

Had sex for money -- $100 - no
Ever had sex with the love of your life -- $100 -yes
Vandalized something -- $20 - yes

Had sex on your parents bed -- $124 - Yes
Beat up someone -- $20 - yes

Been jumped -- $10 - No
Crossed dressed -- $10 - yes

Given money to stripper -- $25 - No
Been in love with a stripper -- $20 - No
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10 - yes
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15 - Yes
Ever drive drunk -- $20 - no, I don't drive anyways
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50 - No

Used toys while having sex -- $30 - Yes
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20 - yes

Went skinny dipping -- $5 - yes

Had sex in a pool -- $20 - yes, definitely wouldn't recommend it. pool water is not a good lubricant.
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10 - yes

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20 - yes
Cheated on your significant other -- $10 - Yes, but to be fair, so was he.
Masturbated -- $10 - ocassionally..........

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20 - No
Done oral -- $5 - Yes

Got oral -- $5 - Yes

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25 - Yes, that was an interesting experience on a bumpy road.

Stole something -- $10 - Yes

Had sex with someone in jail -- $25 - No
Made a nasty home video -- $15 - Yes

Had a threesome -- $50 - yes
Had sex in the wild -- $20 - yes
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25 - yes

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20 - No
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20 - yes
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25 - not over 27 yet
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50 - Yes, sadly
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25 - Yes

Went streaking -- $5 - yes

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15 - yes
Been arrested -- $5 - No
Spent time in jail -- $15 - No

Played spin the bottle -- $5 - yes

Done something you regret -- $20 - hasn't everyone?

Had sex with your best friend -- $20 - Yes
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25 - no

Had anal s ex -- $80 - fine, I'll fess up.
Lied to your mate -- $5 - Yes

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25 - yes






holy cow, I owe $1,384!!!



and does anyone else think that $124 is a rather arbitrary number for having sex on your parents' bed?

[Fiver]

Actually, mine's $160. I have actually played spin the bottle. In fact, I've played strip spin the bottle.

[DesertRat]

Well, hell. Everyone else is playing, and I'm bored, so why not. Looks like I owe $524... and yet my answers some still make my life sound so boring... *sigh*

****

ever had sex in a funeral home -- $100 - No
Smoked pot -- $60 - No
Did acid -- $80 - No
Ever had sex at church -- No
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40 - No
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $155 - No

Had sex for money -- $100 - No
Ever had sex with the love of your life -- $100 - Yes... my wife.
Vandalized something -- $20 - No

Had sex on your parents bed -- $124 - Yes
Beat up someone -- $20 - Yes

Been jumped -- $10 - No
Crossed dressed -- $10 - No

Given money to stripper -- $25 - Yes (hopefully this isn't per stripper)
Been in love with a stripper -- $20 - No
Kissed some one whose name you didn't know -- $10 - No
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15 - No
Ever drive drunk -- Nope... don't drink.
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50 - No (see above)

Used toys while having sex -- $30 - Yes
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20 - No (see above)

Went skinny dipping -- $5 - Yes

Had sex in a pool -- $20 - No (fooled around, yes; actual sex, no. Do I owe $10?)
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10 - No (not on the lips, anyway)

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20 - No
Cheated on your significant other -- $10 - No.
Masturbated -- $10 - Oh hell... hopefully not $10 per event, or I'd be in debtor's prison now.

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20 - No
Done oral -- $5 - Yes

Got oral -- $5 - Yes

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25 - Yes... ah, memories. Nearly caused an accident more than once, so we don't do that anymore.
Stole something -- $10 - Yes

Had sex with someone in jail -- $25 - No
Made a nasty home video -- $15 - Yes

Had a threesome -- $50 - No
Had sex in the wild -- $20 - No
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25 - Yes

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20 - No
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20 - No
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25 - No
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25 - Yes

Went streaking -- $5 - No

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15 - No
Been arrested -- $5 - No
Spent time in jail -- $15 - No

Played spin the bottle -- $5 - No

Done something you regret -- $20 - Yes

Had sex with your best friend -- $20 - Yes (and now we're married. )
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25 - No
Had anal sex -- $80 - Yes (giving, not recieving)
Lied to your mate -- $5 - Yes

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25 - No

[Ana Ng]

$890- I thought it would be lower. Damn you, MySpace, and your morally oppressive ways!

[DaGuyWitBluGlasses]

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40 -

By morning, does that mean anything after midnight, and does it include, people who nothing happened with, like falling asllep with a group of people in an allnight marathon where you know many of the people there, but there's one stranger that's a friend of a friend that's there?

Had sex with someone on MySpace -- 155$

Posted Videos of having Sex on Myspace?
Had sex with someone met through Myspace?
Had sex with someone who had a Myspace profile at the time?
Nope, or do i have to look up the ex to see if she's signed up for myspace since?

Vandalized something -- $20 -

Sort of, but nothing that would be difficult to repair, (e.g. just wait til it rains and then it will be gone)

Beat up someone -- $20 -

I'd assume that mean like punch someone repeatedly, then no,
Given someone a good stern violent warning that i'm no weakling, like throwing someone some distance, then yes...

Crossed dressed -- $10

Does dressing ambiguosly (purposely) count?

Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10

What about if I knew her last name only? (No she wasn't my teacher!)
Or letting them kiss me, but not kissing back?

Used toys while having sex -- $30

Nope, though we've certainly used toys of a sexual nature in a sexual manner... is that what it means?

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20

-

no, not from alcohol, or anything i consumed consensually...

Masturbated -- $10 -

Is it still a fine if you don't give yourself an orgasm?

Done oral -- $5
Got Oral -5$

Can i weasel out of this one if i say it was part of an consummate encounter, and not just going down on someone

Stole something -- $10

hmm, nothing that was ever missed by the owner,

Spent time in jail -- $15

Twice, on a tour of an actual courthouse,
On a "ghost" tour of new orleans, but it wasn't being used as a jail anymore, so i think i can weasel out of this one two.

Played spin the bottle -- $5

I've played games of an intimate nature that involved spinning a bottle, but never the spin the bottle game you see on TV.

Done something you regret -- $20

Of course, Darn I was doing so well. Oh wait i can argue that the present tense of "regret" means did i do something as i felt regret over it, and not something i regretted later...

Had sex with your best friend -- $20

Yes i considered her my bestfriend, but if i argue that i was in error.. ?

Lied to your mate -- $5

Not at the time she was my "mate".


So i guess that's 250 with the most pessimistic answers (except the myspace one, since i don't have a myspace myself can't exactly search effectively)

[Lady Moon]

550.

Nuff said.

Lady Moon

[FullMetal]

why is this so cheap?

Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25 -
Had sex with your best friend -- $20 -
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25

When
Ever had sex with the love of your life -- $100

I would have assumed that the fine for having sex with the love of your life would be less. but this is a myspace thing so probabally most people on it consider their "love of their life" to be someone whom they're crushing on and never recieved love back.

$555 is my fine...