We Need to Talk About Wizard Poop

[E. Q. Taft]

Everybody poops, including fictional wizards. But the logistics of pooping in the Harry Potter universe continues to bother the NFBSK out of me.

https://jezebel.com/we-need-to-talk-...oop-1831499771

[Phantom]

Agreed. I'm a big fan of Harry Potter but I simply can't swallow this. I know that toilet etiquette may not be what it is now, but I can't picture it being that bad. It makes me ask questions that I don't want the answers to.

This is also probably why "proper wizards" don't wear anything under their robes. I'm thinking of the Unspeakable named Archie who preferred to wear a nightgown at the Triward Tournament.

[GenYus234]

Why? (with regards to the title)

[thorny locust]

I actually don't understand the fuss about this. Why is it less sanitary to magic the stuff away than it is to flush it away? It might be more so, because the magic might remove all of it, while using a toilet bowl means that sooner or later the toilet needs cleaning.

And magic might be removing it to somewhere where it doesn't create pollution issues; which toilets often don't.

[crocoduck_hunter]

That is at most twelfth on the list of things that are completely messed up about the Potter universe.

[GenYus234]

Originally Posted by thorny locust

I actually don't understand the fuss about this. Why is it less sanitary to magic the stuff away than it is to flush it away?

I think the issue is with the "relieved themselves wherever they stood" part.

[UEL]

Originally Posted by GenYus234

I think the issue is with the "relieved themselves wherever they stood" part.

I don't buy it.

Dumbledore himself describes the "Room of Requirement" as the room he discovered when he needed a chamber pot.

So, I suspect that there was a chamber pot aspect of it and house elves cleared it up.

[Seaboe Muffinchucker]

My answer to the subject line is "No. No, we don't."

Seaboe

[GenYus234]

Originally Posted by UEL

Dumbledore himself describes the "Room of Requirement" as the room he discovered when he needed a chamber pot.

Dumbledore is not so old that he would have been at Hogwart's in the 18th century when plumbing was installed.

[thorny locust]

Originally Posted by GenYus234

I think the issue is with the "relieved themselves wherever they stood" part.

Is the problem that people are assuming they did so in the presence of others?

People used to, after all, in many places. Plus which, 'wherever they stood' doesn't seem to me to automatically imply 'whenever they felt like it and no matter whatever else was going on or who was there' (though I grant it doesn't rule that out, either.)

If the problem is that the space is presumed to be contaminated, again, if the magic cleans it up entirely and immediately, I don't see a problem.

[Alarm]

The issue might be that in the Potterverse, when a wizard dies, all he did with magic is cancelled...
so the poo would all come right back...

[Beachlife!]

Doesn't magic have a 'cost' in the Harry Potter universe? In most fantasy worlds it costs one way or another every time someone uses magic. This seems like an unnecessary expense of magic.

[GenYus234]

AFAIK, neither of those "standard" rules apply to the Potterverse.

Also, in the systems I know of, only active spells are undone when a wizard dies.

[UEL]

Originally Posted by Beachlife!

Doesn't magic have a 'cost' in the Harry Potter universe?

There is. For example, they cannot create food from nothing. It has to be grown somewhere before they can conjure it.

The limits, though, seem to be a bit arbitrary and seem to switch even between books.

[Psihala]

Originally Posted by GenYus234

I think the issue is with the "relieved themselves wherever they stood" part.

Kinda gives new meaning to being known as "the Wiz", huh?

~Psihala

[GenYus234]

Originally Posted by UEL

There is. For example, they cannot create food from nothing.

I would call that a limitation, not a cost. To me, cost means that each wizzard has a personal pool of mana or what have you that is used each time they cast a spell. If they have no mana (or no access to an outside source), they can't cast that spell.

ETA:

Originally Posted by Psihala

Kinda gives new meaning to being known as "the Wiz", huh?

Now we know what that curtained room was for.

[DawnStorm]

Originally Posted by Psihala

Kinda gives new meaning to being known as "the Wiz", huh?

~Psihala

Thank god no one at work heard the crazy half snorty sound that came out of my mouth when I saw that!

[Brad from Georgia]

Originally Posted by Beachlife!

Doesn't magic have a 'cost' in the Harry Potter universe? In most fantasy worlds it costs one way or another every time someone uses magic. This seems like an unnecessary expense of magic.

Yes. Even the greatest wizards must spend a penny every so often.