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  #1  
Old 09 August 2007, 05:54 PM
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Canuckistan Canuckistan is offline
 
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Icon101 Actual 9-1-1 calls

Searched, but couldn't find. Feel free to chow as necessary.

------------------------

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No.
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police
.
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  #2  
Old 09 August 2007, 06:07 PM
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DemonWolf DemonWolf is offline
 
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Spit Take

Sadly, I could see a few of these as real. After dealing with the public for many years I can honestly say the the public can be pretty dumb.
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  #3  
Old 09 August 2007, 06:39 PM
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Seaboe Muffinchucker Seaboe Muffinchucker is offline
 
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Glasses

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canuckistan View Post
Searched, but couldn't find. Feel free to chow as necessary.

------------------------

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
I believe this caller is suffering from self-deception.

Seaboe
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  #4  
Old 10 August 2007, 12:38 AM
Bombfixer
 
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Lets not forget this classic from Detroit, Michigan circa 1997:

Dispatcher: 9-1-1..What is your emergency?

Caller: Its my friend. He is not breathing, I think he is dead.

Dispatcher: Sir, try to stay calm. We need to make sure he is dead.

Caller: Ummm, okay (moments later a loud noise is heard over the phone)

Dispatcher: Sir, is everything ok? What was that nosie?

Caller: You just told me to make sure he was dead. I just shot him

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  #5  
Old 10 August 2007, 01:43 AM
TB Tabby TB Tabby is offline
 
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These can all be found in a book called "What's the Number For 911?" Just the tip of the iceberg, too...

"911. Fire or emergency?"
"Neither. My son was bothering me. Just wanted to let you know."

"911. What's your emergency?"
"It's my old lady. She's gone crazy!"
"What's the problem, sir?"
"She's tearing through the house, throwing sh-t around. Broke out a g--d--- window with my f-----g bowling trophy. She said she's going to kill me, man. F-----g hell, I believe her too!"
"Does she have any weapons?"
"Well, she has real long fingernails."

"When is the Cinco de Mayo celebration?"
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  #6  
Old 10 August 2007, 03:53 AM
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moonlight moonlight is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonWolf View Post
Sadly, I could see a few of these as real. After dealing with the public for many years I can honestly say the the public can be pretty dumb.
Oh yeah. I used to be a 911 dispatcher...there are a lot of dumb people I can assure you!
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  #7  
Old 10 August 2007, 04:00 AM
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robbiev robbiev is offline
 
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Quote:
ispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

This one I doubt. I've seen it and heard it as a joke for years, but hey, who knows?

I'm sure they do this everywhere, but locally, there are a few billboards for 911 that show someone doing somthing (like changing a tire, or a picture of a cat in a tree) and the caption says "Problem? Yes. 911 emergency? No."

There have seen a couple of local commercials (using local celebrities) saying they really get calls for flat tires and cats in the tree and other non-emergency problems. That's not quite the same as the OP, but it's still dumb.
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  #8  
Old 10 August 2007, 04:09 AM
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Eddylizard Eddylizard is offline
 
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I thought that just happened over here.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/w...re/3349215.stm

Quote:
In the last few days WYMAS has received calls from a man who stubbed his toe, a woman who wanted an ambulance for a dead cat in the road and a child whose mother told her to ring 999 and ask if Santa was there because the child was annoying her.

Christmas calls of shame

A woman upset after an argument with a friend
A man who tried to pull his tooth out with pliers
Someone who lost their keys
Or
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/m...1/ai_n12877648

Quote:
-A woman calling 999 to ask how long she should cook her turkey - she was worried about poisoning her family

-An angry supermarket shopper who had got fed up of waiting for a taxi.
Or
http://999service.com/

Quote:
Examples of frivolous telephone calls to police include a woman reporting a cat "intruding" into her house, a man trying to find the nearest Chinese takeaway and another asking if his lost 20 note had been handed in.

Last edited by Eddylizard; 10 August 2007 at 04:15 AM.
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  #9  
Old 10 August 2007, 04:24 AM
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moonlight moonlight is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robbiev View Post
There have seen a couple of local commercials (using local celebrities) saying they really get calls for flat tires and cats in the tree and other non-emergency problems. That's not quite the same as the OP, but it's still dumb.
And that's nothing. At least they need real assistance...for the flat tire I can understand if say a woman traveling alone might want a police escort so she is not at the mercy of some creep on a dark road alone at night, not necessarily someone to change the tire...and the cat one, well I blame tv. People always call the fire dept to get their cat out of a tree in sitcoms and kid's movies.

People call for much, much dumber stuff. One of the last days I worked someone called and said he was at the mall filling out a job application and he forgot his driver's license and he wanted me to give him his driver's license number. Of course he didn't come right out and tell me this, I figured it out after questioning him for a good five minutes.
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  #10  
Old 10 August 2007, 04:41 AM
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robbiev robbiev is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlight View Post
...not necessarily someone to change the tire...
But this is what they say people call for. Not, "It's 3:00 and I'm stuck at Third and Mclemore by myself," but instead, "Please send someone out to change my tire" or "Please send someone to tow my car to the repair shop" or "Please send someone to come pick me up and take me home" or even "I'm drunk and can't drive and I need a ride home."

I don't know about other cities, but here, 911 does not provide any type of service like that. To have a tire changed, you call a tow truck or a repair shop. To get a ride home, you call a friend or a taxi. IIRC, the local police aren't allowed to give "rides." If an officer has come to the scene for some reason, they will usually wait with you, but they won't take you anywhere.


Quote:
A woman calling 999 to ask how long she should cook her turkey - she was worried about poisoning her family
We have a local service you can call for stuff like that. I can't remember what it's called, but it's provided by the County Library system. You can call and ask them just about anything.

ETA: just remembered, it's called LINC. Library INformation Center. They will answer just about any question you have, and if they don't know, they will actually go look it up (I assume now they look it up on the internet). IIRC, it's only available 9-5 or whatever time the library is open.

Last edited by robbiev; 10 August 2007 at 04:54 AM.
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  #11  
Old 10 August 2007, 04:55 AM
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Eddylizard Eddylizard is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robbiev View Post
We have a local service you can call for stuff like that. I can't remember what it's called, but it's provided by the County Library system. You can call and ask them just about anything.

ETA: just remembered, it's called LINC. Library INformation Center. They will answer just about any question you have, and if they don't know, they will actually go look it up (I assume now they look it up on the internet). IIRC, it's only available 9-5 or whatever time the library is open.
Well don't tell me, tell her!

Eddy "50 minutes per kilogramme @ 190 C plus 20-30 minutes @220 C" Lizard.
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  #12  
Old 10 August 2007, 09:07 AM
Trixie Tang
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robbiev View Post
To get a ride home, you call a friend or a taxi. IIRC, the local police aren't allowed to give "rides." If an officer has come to the scene for some reason, they will usually wait with you, but they won't take you anywhere.
I think it depends on your area. In the small college city I lived in, the cops would walk through the restaurant I worked at at about 3:00 am or so asking the drunk college kids if they needed rides. It wasn't everyday or anything, but I think it was something they did if it was a slow night.
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  #13  
Old 10 August 2007, 10:36 AM
stalker stalker is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bombfixer View Post
Lets not forget this classic from Detroit, Michigan circa 1997:

Dispatcher: 9-1-1..What is your emergency?
Caller: Its my friend. He is not breathing, I think he is dead.
Dispatcher: Sir, try to stay calm. We need to make sure he is dead.
Caller: Ummm, okay (moments later a loud noise is heard over the phone)
Dispatcher: Sir, is everything ok? What was that nosie?
Caller: You just told me to make sure he was dead. I just shot him

Well, Spike, Milligan circa 1950.
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  #14  
Old 10 August 2007, 12:20 PM
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Algae Algae is offline
 
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Location: Southeast Michigan
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Dearborn police officer after eating brownies he'd made with pot

Here
Sanchez:I think I'm having an overdose. and so is my wife.
911: Overdose of what?
Sanchez: Marijuana...
Sanchez: We made brownies. and I think we're dead. I really do...
Sanchez: Time is going by really, really, really slow...
Sanchez: What's the score in the Red Wings game?
911: I've got no clue, i don't watch the Red Wings.
Sanchez: I just wanted to make sure this isn't some kind of hallucination I'm having.
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  #15  
Old 10 August 2007, 12:37 PM
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DemonWolf DemonWolf is offline
 
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Wolf

Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlight View Post
And that's nothing. At least they need real assistance...for the flat tire I can understand if say a woman traveling alone might want a police escort so she is not at the mercy of some creep on a dark road alone at night, not necessarily someone to change the tire...and the cat one, well I blame tv. People always call the fire dept to get their cat out of a tree in sitcoms and kid's movies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robbiev View Post
But this is what they say people call for. Not, "It's 3:00 and I'm stuck at Third and Mclemore by myself," but instead, "Please send someone out to change my tire" or "Please send someone to tow my car to the repair shop" or "Please send someone to come pick me up and take me home" or even "I'm drunk and can't drive and I need a ride home."
Unless you are in immediate danger of life and limb, you should not be calling 911 (or the local equivelant in your area). It's 3am and I'm scared is a matter for you to report on a non-emergency number. Since you obviously have a phone (or esle you couldn't dial 911), call information and ask to the non-emergency number for the local police. But wanting a police escort because it is late and you are scared is not an emergency.

OTOH, it's 3am, I'm all alone, and there's a guy following me, could be an emergency and it is ok to call 911 to get help.

You can call the fire department to get your cat out of a tree, but you must call the non-emergency number and it is up to their discretion where they help you.

Sadly, way too many people do not understand the difference between "personal crisis" and "life and limb emergency." To put it short, if you cannot identify an immediate threat, then you do not need 911 and you are wasting resources that could be better spent saving a person's life.
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  #16  
Old 10 August 2007, 12:47 PM
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glass papaya glass papaya is offline
 
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This thread reminds me of the weekly police reports in my small town newspaper back when my town actually was a small town.

"Responded to a complaint that the residence had been broken into and a mess was found on the floor. Mess was determined to have been caused by new puppy in the residence."

"Responded to a complaint that woman's ex-husband had broken into house, fried eggs, and left the kitchen dirty. Ex-husband was contacted, stated it wasn't him as he doesn't even like eggs."

I really miss those reports.
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  #17  
Old 10 August 2007, 02:12 PM
inkiemouse
 
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Frying Pan

Figure this one out:

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  #18  
Old 10 August 2007, 02:38 PM
lollypopkin
 
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My Aunt was a 911 dispatcher and she used to get the stupidest calls ever that she'd tell us all about. My favorite was the call she got from a residence of some guy who was under the influence, of what I'm not sure, but anyway this guy was lost. He said he was lost and couldn't find his way to his house. He was rather upset convinced he'd be lost forever. She tried to establish if he'd broken in to the residence he was calling from. He said that he didn't remember, and just wanted to go home, but was really lost and needed help. Finally the police show up thinking they're going to have a Robert Downey Jr. breaking into someone else's house while high moment. Turned out to be the guy's house. He'd not recognized his own house and was "lost". So yep people make stupid 911 calls. People also say stupid things while freaking out during their 911 calls. I think if it's a true emergency or even something someone thinks is a true emergency sometimes their brain shuts off and they say things that might not make sense or answer the 911 operator's question in a stupid manner.
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  #19  
Old 10 August 2007, 03:31 PM
smackmac smackmac is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonWolf View Post
Unless you are in immediate danger of life and limb, you should not be calling 911 (or the local equivelant in your area). It's 3am and I'm scared is a matter for you to report on a non-emergency number. Since you obviously have a phone (or esle you couldn't dial 911), call information and ask to the non-emergency number for the local police. But wanting a police escort because it is late and you are scared is not an emergency.

OTOH, it's 3am, I'm all alone, and there's a guy following me, could be an emergency and it is ok to call 911 to get help.

You can call the fire department to get your cat out of a tree, but you must call the non-emergency number and it is up to their discretion where they help you.

Sadly, way too many people do not understand the difference between "personal crisis" and "life and limb emergency." To put it short, if you cannot identify an immediate threat, then you do not need 911 and you are wasting resources that could be better spent saving a person's life.
I work for a non-profit agency that has a no-parking zone in front of the building. When we have a car parked out front, we were told by the off-duty police that were serving as security guards to call 911. When I told him it wasn't an emergency, he told me that was the only way to get an officer out to ticket the car so that we could then have it towed.

That's a call that makes you feel like an idiot:

911 operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Me: "Uh, there's a car parked in front of my building..."

I learned to say where I was calling from and that the off-duty police/security guard told me to call. That way the operator didn't think I was a moron.
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  #20  
Old 10 August 2007, 05:41 PM
Grendel
 
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Of course, 911 operators can sometimes do stupid things too.

The woman who called 911 there did so for an inappropriate reason, but that doesn't excuse what the 911 operator did.
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