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  #21  
Old 11 June 2016, 04:24 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Ambulance

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrRocket View Post
I feel your pain.

That was 18 years ago this month.

DH and I have been in our house for 24 years. We did think of moving a few years ago, but thankfully I got a job. Whew! Massive Clean Up of Junk averted!

Dear left ankle: are you still sore at me for spraining you a few times in my younger days? OK more than a few times, one of which required a cast because I broke you as well. Stop hurting when I try to walk!

The Management
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  #22  
Old 14 June 2016, 11:45 PM
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Keket Keket is offline
 
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Dear clients of Former Vet:

I'm glad you like me enough to request me since Former Vet retired. But we need to set some rules. Firstly, I may not agree with everything Former Vet did as FV was a little old school. So you need to trust me. I don't get paid on commission, so I promise if I'm recommending test A or medication B, it's because I think its the best choice even if FV wouldn't have done it. Secondly, I will require rechecks for refills and whatnot. Thirdly, and this is important, I'm not a talker. I'm wickedly socially awkward and small talk makes me want to fake an emergency so I have a reason to leave the room. So let's deal with your pet's problem and avoid the chitchat and we'll get along just fine.

Dr K
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  #23  
Old 14 June 2016, 11:51 PM
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Sylvanz Sylvanz is offline
 
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Dear Republican presump tive nom. who seems addicted to passive sentence structure, innuendo, obfuscation and of course twitter:
For the sake of everyone everywhere. Shut Up.
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  #24  
Old 14 June 2016, 11:53 PM
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DrRocket DrRocket is offline
 
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Icon84

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keket View Post
...Thirdly, and this is important, I'm not a talker. I'm wickedly socially awkward and small talk makes me want to fake an emergency so I have a reason to leave the room. So let's deal with your pet's problem and avoid the chitchat and we'll get along just fine.

Dr K
Perhaps your could stick a thermometer in their mouths during the visit???
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  #25  
Old 14 June 2016, 11:58 PM
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Morning Morning is offline
 
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Glasses

That's not where Dr. Keket puts thermometers........

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  #26  
Old 15 June 2016, 12:00 AM
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I know...

Last edited by DrRocket; 15 June 2016 at 12:07 AM.
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  #27  
Old 15 June 2016, 02:37 PM
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Glasses

Then, DrR, I feel fairly certain that your suggestion would work.
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  #28  
Old 16 June 2016, 02:05 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Keket, you could always put a treat in a chatty patient's mouth!

Dear Gov Hogan: Kudos to you for concentrating on running the state and staying out of national politics!!

Fellow Marylander
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  #29  
Old 18 June 2016, 01:07 AM
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Mouse

Dear snopes and Barbara,

Once again, have to compose a letter of praise, because judging by the kind of legends you have to debunk, so many "Obvious Fake News Article is Obvious and Fake" articles, you guys have the patience and fortitude of a saint. Though there are probably saints who are like, "Y'know flogging people and flipping over tables are always options, right? I mean, Jesus did it."

Because the stupid is honestly painful to behold. So much so, I wonder how soon until you guys snap and start mass-murdering while naked because you two are from the Beowulf School of Combat: figure if the monster fights without clothes, so should you. At least, that's how I picture you in my head canon.

But seriously, great website. Thanks for giving me many happy time-sucks.

Love,

A Satisfied Rodent
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  #30  
Old 22 June 2016, 03:01 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Dear Geico: regarding one of your "life tips" radio ads: if you say a woman has peanut butter legs, it's not a compliment! Might want to review that ad!

Bemused listener
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  #31  
Old 22 June 2016, 03:25 PM
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Sylvanz Sylvanz is offline
 
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Uhhh, I have never heard that ad. I can't fathom what context they would say that in and how anyone ever thought it was a good idea.
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  #32  
Old 22 June 2016, 03:34 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylvanz View Post
Uhhh, I have never heard that ad. I can't fathom what context they would say that in and how anyone ever thought it was a good idea.
The ad has someone giving "life tips" and someone else giving a snarky response. One of the tips is: ladies, you can use peanut butter to shave your legs". Snarky response: "then you won't have to wear perfume; everybody will just call you peanut butter legs!" Uh yeah.
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  #33  
Old 24 June 2016, 07:44 PM
Magdalene Magdalene is offline
 
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Dear UK Snopesters,

I have seen Trump referred to as a "Weapons-Grade Plum". I am laughing hysterically at this, but admit I am not entirely sure why. Would one of you be kind enough to translate this?

Much love,
Magdalene
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  #34  
Old 24 June 2016, 08:09 PM
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GenYus234 GenYus234 is offline
 
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In the UK a plum is a testicle. British testicles are somehow especially ridiculous, so they are used to call something nonsense (like bullocks). And making uranium weapons-grade usually means stuffing more into it. So he's an idiot that has had more bullpoop stuffed into him.
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  #35  
Old 25 June 2016, 08:12 PM
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Glasses

Dear West Virginia snopesters,

I sincerely hope that you are all safe and well after the horrible flooding in your state on Thursday and Friday.

I will be thinking good thoughts your way,

Your close Ohio neighbor*

Morning


*I can see WV from my front porch.
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  #36  
Old 25 June 2016, 09:57 PM
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Cervus Cervus is offline
 
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Dear gardeners:

In the middle of a Florida summer, maybe don't use a fish-based fertilizer. I literally thought a possum or armadillo had crawled into the garden to die. Damn, that stuff stinks.
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  #37  
Old 28 June 2016, 11:57 AM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Shout

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cervus View Post
Dear gardeners:

In the middle of a Florida summer, maybe don't use a fish-based fertilizer. I literally thought a possum or armadillo had crawled into the garden to die. Damn, that stuff stinks.
Ugh!


Dear Kiosk Guy at the Mall:
Are you that desperate for a sale? You called to me even though I was on the other side of the mall! You have something for me? Whoopie. I don't need any lotion, hand cream or fingernail buffer. Sorry to disappoint you.

Bemused shopper.
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  #38  
Old 29 June 2016, 02:21 AM
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queen of the caramels queen of the caramels is online now
 
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Goldfish

Dear fly
Thank you for your valuable contribution of fly eggs to tonight's supper.
Gratefully yours
The fish..
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  #39  
Old 30 June 2016, 11:42 AM
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Dutch Angua Dutch Angua is offline
 
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To the moron that left an old car battery in my client's pasture,

Your stupidity has cost 3 calves their lives and 2 more are now blind. One of the blind calves had been named Trooper, because he survived a broken leg.
Also, in 16 weeks all calves in the field need to be tested for lead before they are allowed to be moved, costing the farmer a heckload of money.
Al because you just decided to dump your s*** where it doesn't belong.

F*** you,

The royally p*ssed-off vet.
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  #40  
Old 30 June 2016, 12:24 PM
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Dutch Angua,

Can you get that into the local news, so that at least the dumper might find out the consequences?
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