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  #21  
Old 06 March 2015, 11:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Esprise Me View Post
I'm sorry. It's incredibly hurtful when doctors treat you that way, especially when you're already in pain and worried about your health.

I had to deal with a doctor being rude and dismissive when I came in with a lump under my arm. He pinched the spot, hard, and when I cried out in pain, said something like, "it wouldn't hurt if it was cancer. You just have extra breast tissue growing there. Get over it." And then marched out of the office. I'd never seen him before, and he spent all of about 30 seconds with me. I'm not worried about the lump anymore, but I don't know if I'll ever get over that.
Good God, what an utter NFBSKwad.

I can't believe any decent doctor would even use the old "cancer doesn't hurt" line, especially since, you know, it probably didn't hurt until he pinched it and I'm pretty sure even a confirmed cancerous tumor would hurt if you squeezed it hard enough. I hope you're getting diagnostic mammograms...I put mine off and ended up with a bilateral mastectomy, but I consider myself pretty lucky overall.
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  #22  
Old 07 March 2015, 12:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Twankydillo View Post
How would I say "I do not think it is muscular" if that is brought up again without it being emotional language? I don't know how to say that one because what it is is for the doctor to decide, isn't it? I want to be able to say something on the lines of "if it is muscular, it's unusual for me because of the localised pain, the burning and stabbing pains and that it's been daily for nearly 3 months."
What about saying something like, "could muscular issues cause/is that consistent with burning, stabbing, localized pain lasting 3 months?" It's a little less defensive than "I don't think it's muscular." I've had really misleading symptoms, the most memorable of which was a watery eye that turned out to be caused by dry eye, of all the stupid things. I'd already WebMD'ed myself as having a blocked tear duct and the student health center doctor agreed, but the ophthalmologist he referred me to knew better. So it's worth trying to keep an open mind about diagnoses that may not make sense to you, while of course still raising your doubts and concerns.
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  #23  
Old 07 March 2015, 02:32 AM
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The book How Doctors Think is pretty good reading for people who (like me) can have trouble being assertive with doctors, and can also over think or over research. It's an excellent book.

One of the author's suggestions for your situation is to ask, "could it be anything else?", and "is there anything that doesn't fit?". It's a way to get the doctor to reexamine their own conclusions. There are more suggestions that may be relevant as well. I think the Wikipedia page has a summary. (Sorry for not linking for you I have limited time.)
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  #24  
Old 07 March 2015, 08:28 AM
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Wow I am so glad I had the Doctor I had. 15 years ago I had a funny freckle above my knee so I went to see him. Now I have freckles all over my body but this one looked different to me so I went to see him. And he took it off and sent it to be tested. It was an melanoma. He said to me later that he honestly didn't think it was anything but he thought he would take it off anyway. Thank Godness.

I agree with the others, get a third opinion.
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  #25  
Old 07 March 2015, 09:36 AM
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My wife has hypothyroid, which is not exactly a rare condition. She has so far seen 4 doctors for it. Two of them knew less than she did about the condition, and were treating it incorrectly, and were not willing to learn. One knew absolutely everything about thyroid condition - a real expert, and insisted on treating my wife exactly the same as all her other thyroid patients, which was nor right in this case. The forth didn't know much, but was willing to listen, and research. She stayed with him. I am often surprised at the poor service provided by doctors. They hate people doing their own research via the internet, but what else can you do?
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  #26  
Old 07 March 2015, 01:16 PM
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Some medical professionals can have stunningly awful bedside manner. Like the nurse who said, in regard my weight, "looks aren't everything, right?"

Yeah.

Doctors and nurses have, more than anyone else, contributed to my medical anxiety, body dysmorphic thought patterns, and disordered eating.
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  #27  
Old 07 March 2015, 05:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by me, no really View Post
They hate people doing their own research via the internet, but what else can you do?
I'm not doubting your experience at all, but most of the doctors I've encountered seemed to like the fact that I'd already read up on possible causes and treatments for my symptoms. Mostly they're rushed and want to go through the paces, so when I've had to see yet another doctor (usually because of changing insurance) for the same condition I've been dealing with, I'll usually write up a summary of everything I've already tried, so that they can't interrupt me and we can cut to the chase. But I guess I've been lucky that they all seem to be of the mindset that patients aren't idiots and medical knowledge is not some heavily-guarded secret. Even the ophthalmologist I mentioned earlier, who correctly diagnosed my dry eye, was willing to humor me by flushing out my tear duct just in case I was right.
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  #28  
Old 07 March 2015, 06:37 PM
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Yes; while I'm certainly not doubting anybody else's experience, there are plenty of doctors out there who do listen to their patients, and who do not behave like (to put it politely) jerks.

Some people luck into a good doctor at first try; others need to keep hunting. And insurance companies' practitioner lists may make things more complicated. But it really is worth trying to find a good one; and they really do exist.
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  #29  
Old 08 March 2015, 01:20 AM
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My brain doctors and therapists have all been very good, and seem to appreciate that I have done my research, know all about my particular issues, know the various treatment options and their advantages and disadvantages, and so forth. It means they don't have to spend a lot of time explaining things. We can just start working on them right away.

Other medical professionals have been much more variable, ranging from gentle in manner and sympathetic, to the aforementioned "looks aren't everything" nurse.
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  #30  
Old 08 March 2015, 04:29 AM
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Curiously, the best doctor I ever saw was a neurologist. She worked in a student clinic and did urgent care, too, so I ended up seeing her for a variety of things, including a problematic tendon in my ankle that other doctors had been dismissive of. Not really her area, but she was great. She did her research and actually helped.

So I think my experience backs that up: brain doctors are good. Others not good.
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  #31  
Old 08 March 2015, 10:32 AM
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Can I third that? It was a doctor with a dual degree, one in neurology, who was able to tell me what was wrong when I had that awful chronic back pain, and give my doctor a treatment plan, when I was about to give in and ask for narcotics.
Of course I think my doctor is pretty great herself, but that was awesome.
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  #32  
Old 08 March 2015, 04:20 PM
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On the other hand, one of my negative experiences was with a neurologist who did not actually examine my mother when she came in for her appointment with him (I was there officially as her ears as she heard very poorly, and also to some extent as her memory as that was slipping); he only glanced at two of her brain scans and said that the amount of deterioration between them wasn't surprising given that they were taken ten years apart. When I pointed out that they had been taken not ten years apart but less than a year apart he didn't believe me, and said that there wouldn't have been any reason to take another that soon. The reason was because she had fallen and was complaining of symptoms, which were also why we'd been referred to him!

I wish that I'd checked in advance what a proper neurology exam consisted of; and/or that I'd insisted that he recheck the dates on the scans. It's one of the things I regret about her end-of-life care; though I don't know how much it would have helped to get a better diagnosis sooner in the process.

However, she did also have some excellent doctors at some points.

ETA: I think the best one she had, in terms of being able to actually pay attention to the patient and recognize what her problems actually were, was a family care specialist.

Last edited by thorny locust; 08 March 2015 at 04:26 PM.
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  #33  
Old 09 March 2015, 01:49 AM
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Yeah, I know Cracked isn't exactly what you'd call a scholarly source, but I thought you'd relate to this article in a "Misery loves company" sort of way: 5 Awful Lessons I Learned Living with a Mystery Illness
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  #34  
Old 09 March 2015, 05:46 AM
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oh doyc, the poor man had an esophageal manomatry done. *shudder* that was hands down the most painful medical procedure I have ever had to have done, and that includes having my spine pieced back together.
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  #35  
Old 09 March 2015, 08:19 AM
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Domperidone is illegal in the States? Huh. BTW, I take it and it just made me feel really black depressed at first. Then it kind of wore off.
Reading about it, I'm not sure I want to take it. Are the cardiac dangers just for lactating women?
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  #36  
Old 09 March 2015, 03:28 PM
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I also have had a great experience with all the specialists I've seen over the past year plus. Not a single one of them disbelieved me. I do think it helps that my GP believes me.

Sadly, I think that her GP doesn't believe her is going to cause trouble for Twankydillo.

Seaboe
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  #37  
Old 09 March 2015, 07:34 PM
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Ambulance People With 'Invisible Disabilities' Fight For Understanding

This story made my think of this thread. It wasn't included in the written article, but in the radio version I heard yesterday Ms. Medosch talked about going to the hospital and being talked down to and basically being accused of seeking prescription pain killers.

http://www.npr.org/2015/03/08/391517...-understanding

Quote:
Carly Medosch, 33, seems like any other young professional in the Washington, D.C. area busy, with a light laugh and a quick smile. She doesn't look sick. But she has suffered from Crohn's disease, an inflammatory bowel condition, since she was 13. There have been times, she says, when she's "been laying on the floor in the bathroom, kind of thinking, 'Am I going to die? Should I jump out in front of traffic so that I can die?' Because you're just in so much pain."
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  #38  
Old 10 March 2015, 04:12 AM
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That sounds something similar to what Roger Ebert wrote about. In his delightfully scathing review of The Bucket List, Roger Ebert compared what his characters did when they were cancer patients and what his activities as a cancer patient were, describing them as:

Quote:
I've never had chemo, as Edward and Carter must endure, but I have had cancer, and believe me, during convalescence after surgery the last item on your bucket list is climbing a Himalaya. Your list is more likely to be topped by keeping down a full meal, having a triumphant bowel movement, keeping your energy up in the afternoon, letting your loved ones know you love them, and convincing the doc your reports of pain are real and not merely disguising your desire to become a drug addict.
Yeah, I know nobody wants to give painkillers to a scam artist, but it's still mind-boggling that even though Ebert had nfbsking cancer, he still had to go to all this trouble to convince his doctor that he was in actual pain. I don't claim any medical knowledge beyond "Cancer is bad" but last time I checked, it is very painful as well, so chances are when a cancer patient is saying they're in pain, they probably aren't lying.
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  #39  
Old 10 March 2015, 03:30 PM
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Most people don't lie about pain. It's probably one of the most under medicated conditions there is. The Western ideal of the stoic hero, combined with an unfounded fear of addiction (IIRC, there are studies that show if you really need the narcotic, you're much less likely to become addicted), make doctors extremely reluctant to actually treat pain.

Seaboe
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  #40  
Old 10 March 2015, 04:32 PM
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I'm reading the replies and articles but haven't been replying because I was still quite lost and confused. Wondering if I wasn't just imagining it somehow. Trying to just ignore the pain and the situation and hope it somehow goes away.

But it is oddly reassuring to know it happens quite often.
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