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  #41  
Old 14 May 2013, 02:54 PM
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Sue Sue is offline
 
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Wedding tradition for me was an afternoon wedding followed by a dinner reception with open bar. I think I was in my 30s before I went to a wedding that differed in any way from that - and that wedding ramped it up (it was an Italian wedding, my god do you eat at an Italian wedding!!)
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  #42  
Old 14 May 2013, 03:16 PM
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When I was growing up all the weddings I attended were Jehovah's Witness weddings (I had non-JW relatives but JWs don't attend weddings in churches). Weddings held in the Kingdom Hall had to be open to anyone who attended that KH -- the couple would post an invitation on the bulletin board. Receptions were in rented halls (KHs don't have social halls) and the meals were potluck. It wasn't taboo to serve alcohol at a reception, but it was discouraged because it could encourage drunkenness and a "wordly" atmosphere.

I think I was an adult before I attended a catered wedding. When I was teenager, one young woman's non-JW father put his foot down and refused to do the potluck thing, so they just had cake and punch.
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  #43  
Old 14 May 2013, 03:30 PM
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musicgeek musicgeek is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alarm View Post
Wear a cape, with anything. Capes always scream "superhero"....
or "vampire"
or "Musketeer"

Ok, so maybe skip the cape...
NO CAPES!

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  #44  
Old 14 May 2013, 03:49 PM
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Beachlife! Beachlife! is offline
 
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What's wrong with capes? I have one that wear at least one day each year.
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  #45  
Old 14 May 2013, 04:21 PM
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Simply Madeline Simply Madeline is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gayle View Post
My friend N sent me M & D's registry at Target: I don't think there was an item on the list under $300. 50-something " plasma tv, high end appliances, arcade quality video games.
You might want to do some digging; maybe they're not expecting those gifts at all. Target allows you to buy any "unpurchased" registry items for either 10% or 15% off up to 6 months after the wedding. They might have registered with the idea that they would buy all that stuff themselves at a later date.
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  #46  
Old 14 May 2013, 05:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beachlife! View Post
What's wrong with capes? I have one that wear at least one day each year.
I can't see the clip musicgeek posted, but I'm guessing it's a clip from the Incredibles about how capes are hazardous to Supers.
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  #47  
Old 14 May 2013, 06:00 PM
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A Turtle Named Mack A Turtle Named Mack is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
When I was growing up all the weddings I attended were Jehovah's Witness weddings (I had non-JW relatives but JWs don't attend weddings in churches).
How is a Kingdom Hall not a church!? Is it the pentagrams, blood sacrifices and orgies?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
I think I was an adult before I attended a catered wedding. When I was teenager, one young woman's non-JW father put his foot down and refused to do the potluck thing, so they just had cake and punch.
What's wrong with potlucks? I love potlucks. You get a few duds, but you get to try so many yummy dishes that you can't get at your own home or a restaurant.
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  #48  
Old 14 May 2013, 06:12 PM
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Lainie Lainie is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A Turtle Named Mack View Post
How is a Kingdom Hall not a church!? Is it the pentagrams, blood sacrifices and orgies?
The same way a synagogue or a mosque or a Quaker meeting house is not a church: that's not what the members of that faith call the places where they worship.

To re-state, JWs do not attend weddings, or any other services, in the worship places of other faiths.

Quote:
What's wrong with potlucks? I love potlucks. You get a few duds, but you get to try so many yummy dishes that you can't get at your own home or a restaurant.
I don't know for sure what the bride's father's objections were, but my WAG is that he thought it was in poor taste to expect invited guests at a wedding reception to bring a dish as well as a gift.

ETA: He also wasn't thrilled about his wife and daughters having become JWs, was very unhappy with his daughter's decision to skip college and get married at 19 or 20, and probably (rightfully, IMO) blamed the latter on the former. So he likely wasn't in any mood to adopt JW wedding customs, or for that matter to pay for a catered reception at a wedding he didn't approve of.
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  #49  
Old 14 May 2013, 07:01 PM
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They did respond and confirmed that they are wearing suits, not tuxes, and that several friends are attending dressed as superheroes. So the style is "relaxed, but eclectic"and I should feel free to "be bold."
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  #50  
Old 14 May 2013, 11:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avril View Post
Culturally, I come from a place where people are not expected to travel for weddings. If you can't go, you send a gift.
Your experiences are pretty much the same as mine. I have to admit that prior to this thread I hadn't even heard of destination weddings. I wouldn't mind a reasonable expenditure but if it was more than I could comfortably afford I'd send a gift instead.

Brian
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  #51  
Old 15 May 2013, 02:59 AM
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Morgaine Morgaine is offline
 
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My wedding experience growing up mirrors Avril & Gayles. I still can't wrap my brain around the idea of a meal after a wedding. I mean, I've gone to ones with meals now but they just seem like too much.
My pre-teen DD & I have been talking about her future wedding in a complete 'Oh wouldn't that be fun' kind of way. Right now we're at Ren Faire themed wedding with a masquerade afternoon tea. If she at any point decides she has to have a wedding with a full dinner reception I'll do it but honestly, I think it's a waste of money. I like her afternoon tea idea much better.

Of course, after all this she will probably elope to Vegas or something.
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  #52  
Old 15 May 2013, 04:00 AM
lavender blue lavender blue is offline
 
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In my culture, wedding banquets are very traditional, down to some of the food you're 'required' to have. Not many people stick to that traditional menu nowadays, but the meal itself is still the norm.

I've often said I'd prefer to have the traditional wedding banquet and skip the wedding.
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  #53  
Old 15 May 2013, 05:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue View Post
(it was an Italian wedding, my god do you eat at an Italian wedding!!)
And holidays! And baptisms*! And graduations! And- well- pretty much any excuse to celebrate. I was grown and on my own before I realized most people didn't tack a meal onto pretty much every occasion, because that's how my family and friends were all raised. A good deal of my problems with portion control when I was first trying to lose weight was my inability to wrap my mind around the idea of a chunk of meat the size of a card deck being a "serving". Heck, that's hardly the size of a decent meatball, let alone a respectable hunk of braciole or a nice, gritty sausage. Finally going home for Christmas this past year I was just floored at how much I used to consider a normal meal.

*Insert other faiths' celebrations here. Most of the folks I grew up around were Catholic, like my family, but not all of them. Friends, family, and food did not discriminate on faith.
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  #54  
Old 15 May 2013, 04:24 PM
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My experience for weddings in my own ethnic culture follows a pattern similar to the "Italian wedding" mentioned previously.

- marriage ceremony (full Catholic mass) very early on a Saturday afternoon
- wedding party goes off to a park (or if weather prevents it, a studio) for pictures
- reception starts around 6pm - sometimes late because of delays with the wedding party returning
- receiving line where you meet the wedding party, receive some kind of memorable knick-knack, and drink a shot of your beverage of choice
- open bar, introduction of the wedding party, grace, full sit-down dinner served "family style", though with fewer courses and less "delay" than an Italian wedding (in my experience, the italian wedding has a 3 hour stream of never-ending food served one course at a time - the guests don't generally know what more is coming and either eat too quickly or load up their plate and watch it grow cold)
- dinner frequently interrupted by guests ringing their glasses to get the bride and groom to kiss, though some wedding parties eschew this and institute a different rule (i.e. people have to step up and "demonstrate" how to kiss, or do something else like sing - the singing one was fun)
- as dessert/coffee are served, speeches begin - usually mercifully short though the jokes are often environmentally friendly (recycled) - on occasion the parents make a nice speech with a pleasant anecdote about their child
- after the speeches, music and dancing and the bar re-opens
- late in the evening the band takes a break, a late-night buffet is served, and the bride often changes out of her wedding dress
- another 60-90 minutes of the band playing and everyone calls it a night

Minor variations exist but generally a cash bar was seen as poor hospitality. The wedding reception was treated just the same as inviting someone to your home - the only reason the reception wasn't at one's home is that you couldn't accommodate that many guests. One would no more expect their guest to pay for their drink or meal, than if they came to your house. If people couldn't afford this, the guest list would scale down. And certainly there was an expectation of gifts - cash being king - with the hope that each person leaves a gift generous enough to cover the cost of their meal *and* leave a gift. That may be contrary to "modern" etiquette, but those "rules" worked both ways - don't invite more people than you can afford, and don't accept an invitation if you can't afford to give a gift.
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  #55  
Old 15 May 2013, 04:28 PM
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Is Italian Wedding soup served at Italian weddings?
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  #56  
Old 15 May 2013, 06:31 PM
CenTex CenTex is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Latiam View Post
They did respond and confirmed that they are wearing suits, not tuxes, and that several friends are attending dressed as superheroes. So the style is "relaxed, but eclectic"and I should feel free to "be bold."
So you could wear a nice dress with a cape!

Guys could wear a a suit with a superhero tie.
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  #57  
Old 17 May 2013, 05:54 AM
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Aw MusicGeek beat me to the NO CAPES! scene! lol First thing I thought of.

Interesting thread. I went to 3 weddings last year. Each of them were quite different in their own way and I've been to/in many other weddings over the years too.

last year-
Wedding #1- was a formal wedding- I was in this wedding. All of the bridesmaids/maid of honor were in the same state I think. All of the groomsmen and best man were from out of state. We actually had to be fitted for our suits 2 days before the wedding (sizes were sent to him previously). I paid for the rental (wasn't too happy about that...). Rehearsal, rehearsal dinner (potluck) then next day wedding ceremony- then reception- like what someone described upthread. The dinner was buffet style- not too bad. Their wedding cake was actually tiers made up of cupcakes. I think there was a small groom's cake.

Wedding #2 was in Washington. Very small wedding. Just the bride and groom- no attendants- way too many people would have butt hurt feelings if they were not 'chosen'. They did have witnesses though. Very casual; All I wore was khakis, blue oxford shirt and yes.. a ducky tie somebody sent me lol. Bride had a very low cost dress- the first one she has ever had, this was the third marriage for both of them. Ironically, they had altered it but between then and the wedding she broke her ankle and due to issues & healing she lost quite a bit of weight- no time to fix it either oops. Groom did rent his suit- that was about it. Casual reception- BBQ style- guests brought booze as gifts- I think they still have some of it too lol.

Wedding #3 was in Utah. This one was actually somewhere in between the other two. Formal but the reception was more of a hors d'oeuvres kind of thing with water,lemonade etc and beer (paid for by the couple). What was unique was that they married on New Year's Eve- evening wedding- and at midnight we did those sparkler things and waved those as they walked down- akin to the couple going through rice or bubbles. That was fun as it was also snowing that day too :P
It just fascinates me how weddings can vary so much including clothing style, colors, trinkets/favors and all that. I've heard of destination weddings but have never been to one unless you count me traveling to all but 1 wedding as an adult.
I hope there are no weddings this year. I know there's one in 2014 so planning on that one lol.
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  #58  
Old 17 May 2013, 07:03 AM
Barbara
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
Is Italian Wedding soup served at Italian weddings?
Well, it's possible but not a requirement. Here's my article about Italian Wedding Soup.
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  #59  
Old 17 May 2013, 05:37 PM
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nonnieyrissa nonnieyrissa is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kallah View Post
And holidays! And baptisms*! And graduations! And- well- pretty much any excuse to celebrate.
When you're Italian everything is a excuse to celebrate... and eat! I'm okay with this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
Is Italian Wedding soup served at Italian weddings?
Barbara answered this, so just seconding that it's likely to be included, especially in families that have a favorite recipe, but not a given. I would prefer all weddings have pasta fagioli personally...
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  #60  
Old 19 May 2013, 06:04 PM
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Latiam Latiam is offline
 
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So, the wedding was last night. I had ordered a Darla Deville tie and was planning on wearing it with a tailored women's shirt, but couldn't find an appropriate one in the stores, so my brother wore it. I did wear a necklace that said KAPOW with one of those bursts coming out under it. I had earrings too but they were left on the lowboy in the hall by accident. The women on my family's side of the wedding party and a few others had similar things saying things like BLAM on barrettes, so that was good.

All the groomsmen (and the grooms) wore little X-Men Lego men on their boutonnieres, and we were in a theatre, which had their pictures and names (Tonight only X vs Y in 3D) outside. We got popcorn and had to put on those old school paper 3D glasses for the vows. They had their top 5 comic book quotes (which included the Doctor Who timey wimey one as an anachronism). It was just the right mix of relaxed, sincere, serious, and fun, and short as well. It was the best ceremony I've been to. The reception was not quite as well organized, but they threw it together in 3 months, so that was OK. It did have cute parts, like straws with stuff like POW glued on them (they were cardboard), Spiderman cookies, and a place where you could have your pictures taken as a group, with a ton of props.

As I was leaving I made my littlest cousin very happy. I asked for a hug and she grabbed my KAPOW necklace, so I had my brother take it off and I put it on her. She was so happy and asked me, "When do I get to keep it?" and I said, "You get to keep it for ever and ever and ever," and she was jumping up and down with excitement and babbling to her mom as we left.

It was a great ceremony and they're great guys and I'm glad I went. I just wish I could have worn my tie! My brother got tons of compliments on it.

And since I drove there and my brother drove back, I even got to drink!
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