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Old 14 December 2015, 10:58 PM
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Default Trump's Medical Report Is More Insane Than His Campaign, Somehow

Donald Trump’s doctor released a medical report so silly that when we asked the American Medical Association about its language, their spokesman started to laugh.

Donald Trump’s doctor appears to be just as bombastic as he is.

It’s the only conclusion to be drawn from a hilariously bizarre letter that the mogul’s doctor—Harold Bornstein—wrote about his yuuuugely terrific health. And the letter raises as many questions as it answers.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...al-report.html
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Old 14 December 2015, 11:08 PM
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That letter really is something. My lab results are never "astonishingly excellent," just "normal" or "very good" or something.
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Old 14 December 2015, 11:14 PM
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Someone has got to use this as the basis of a new comic strip.

"His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary." Well, yeah, that sounds appropriate for a circus sideshow.
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Old 15 December 2015, 12:28 AM
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In the doctor's defense, Trump probably only lets people who see him as the second coming of Jesus hang around him. You don't develop Trump's ego without surrounding yourself with a lot of yes men, I'm just saying.
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Old 15 December 2015, 01:43 PM
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Here he is. Looks like your average "Joe Doctor" to me.
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  #6  
Old 15 December 2015, 06:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avril View Post
That letter really is something. My lab results are never "astonishingly excellent," just "normal" or "very good" or something.
A lab would get into trouble for writing "astonishingly excellent" since it is subjective. Typical lab assays have defined words for the results, they have to since the lab is responsible if they use unusual words and the MD (or patient) misinterprets the result.
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Old 15 December 2015, 11:29 PM
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In all honesty, now I'm amusing myself by imagining how even more hyperbolic the doctor's report could have been. C'mon, Snopesters, let's make a game out of this and really go nuts. I'll start: "Donald Trump's sperm could power a city bus." Or "His hair does a better job of blocking bullets than Kevlar." C'mon, someone take this idea and run with it.
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  #8  
Old 16 December 2015, 01:10 AM
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Really, the only word to describe Trump's health is "groin-grabbingly transcendent."

Last edited by musicgeek; 16 December 2015 at 01:17 AM.
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Old 16 December 2015, 02:36 AM
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He has classy arteries? Don't know. I get the feeling Trump dictated this letter and the doctor just signed it. But who can say. Ben Carson is a doctor and he says all kinds of weird things.
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  #10  
Old 16 December 2015, 06:08 AM
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"Mr. Trump is the most astonishingly attractive example of the American male that I have ever seen in my thirty years of practicing medicine. In fact, if he weren't my patient, I would probably be dating him."
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  #11  
Old 16 December 2015, 01:50 PM
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"Chuck Norris is taking notes."
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  #12  
Old 16 December 2015, 01:52 PM
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Whenever I see Donald Trump all I can think of is the Halloween episode of the Simpsons where they transplant Snake's hair onto Homer's head. Donald Trump has epically, killer hair.
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Old 16 December 2015, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cervus View Post
"His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary." Well, yeah, that sounds appropriate for a circus sideshow.
Nailed it!!! That perfectly describes him!
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Old 16 December 2015, 04:42 PM
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What’s even more interesting is the following points:

1) Harold Bornstein is a gastroenterological specialist - which seems like an unusual choice as a personal physician to speak about a whole range of issues.

2) No mention of his bone spurs that lead to his 4H classification from Vietnam. Odd thing to omit.
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Old 16 December 2015, 04:45 PM
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4F, I think you mean. Although I got a giggle from the mental image of young men being sent to raise calves because they didn't physically qualify for military service.
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Old 16 December 2015, 05:37 PM
Bobcat Warrior Bobcat Warrior is offline
 
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Lainie:

YOMANK!

BW
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  #17  
Old 16 December 2015, 05:42 PM
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It's especially funny to imagine it happening to Trump, aka Richie Rich minus the charm and kindness.
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  #18  
Old 16 December 2015, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
4F, I think you mean. Although I got a giggle from the mental image of young men being sent to raise calves because they didn't physically qualify for military service.
Well the F key is reaaaal close to the H key so I will go with that (yes you are right). But I have to admit the idea of Trump being forced to work with cattle is quite appropriate due to all of the bull that trump peddles...
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  #19  
Old 16 December 2015, 06:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
4F, I think you mean. Although I got a giggle from the mental image of young men being sent to raise calves because they didn't physically qualify for military service.
Hey, if we're going to imagine Trump in 4-H (which makes me shudder, since I was a 4-H-er), let's imagine him in the swine barn. Closer to his real life experience, anyway.
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  #20  
Old 16 December 2015, 06:30 PM
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Frying Pan

For shame! Why would you lower a pig by comparing him to Donald Trump, Horse Chestnut???

Of course....
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