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  #1  
Old 04 November 2018, 12:24 PM
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Default Unhijackable

It's that time again.
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  #2  
Old 04 November 2018, 01:59 PM
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Reset the clocks!
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  #3  
Old 04 November 2018, 03:01 PM
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Actually, I meant time to start a new thread. But also time for you all to change your clocks.

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Would you say you’ve... hijacked this thread?
I am the captain now.
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  #4  
Old 04 November 2018, 03:04 PM
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Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
Actually, I meant time to start a new thread.
I almost put in my post that I knew what you meant --
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  #5  
Old 04 November 2018, 11:02 PM
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ASL ASL is offline
 
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Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
I am the captain now.
That’s nothing. I am the Third Revelation.
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  #6  
Old 05 November 2018, 02:55 AM
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I am just a poor man, though my story's seldom told.
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  #7  
Old 05 November 2018, 03:57 AM
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I am... tired of being stuck in Norfolk.

And if anyone claims to be a rock, an island, a bridge over troubled waters, a walrus, an egg-man, or anything like that, I assure you I WILL drink your milkshake, goo-goo-ga-choo.

But mostly I just hate being stuck in Norfolk. I’d leave it on the weekends, but then I’d probably end up getting stuck in an hour-long backup just trying to get over or through one of the g-damn bridges or tunnels you need to take to get into and out of this place.

And yes I know those are two different musical acts!

In conclusion, I am ASL's simmering rage at approaching three years in Norfolk.
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  #8  
Old 05 November 2018, 12:21 PM
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errr...

I am Spartacus..?
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  #9  
Old 05 November 2018, 01:16 PM
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You don't have to drive out of Norfolk, you can:

You can reach there by railway
You can reach there by trail-way
You can reach there on an airplane
You can reach there by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
You can reach there by sailboat
Climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down slow
You can jump on a speedy colt
Cross the border in a blaze of hope

You can windsurf
Take a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon
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  #10  
Old 05 November 2018, 02:25 PM
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Seaboe Muffinchucker Seaboe Muffinchucker is offline
 
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ASL, how much longer will you be stuck in Norfolk?

Seaboe
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  #11  
Old 05 November 2018, 02:34 PM
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ASL's stuck in Norfolk with the Memphis blues again --


(sorry, ASL! and sorry that you're stuck there. Is there an end in sight?)
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  #12  
Old 05 November 2018, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by GenYus234 View Post
You don't have to drive out of Norfolk, you can:

You can reach there by railway
I don't know what song that is, but I actually took the train from Newport News to Texas via Washington DC and Chicago a couple months ago. It was fine going out, but then the train ride back roughly coincided with one hurricane and one "almost hurricane." Oddly, it was the almost hurricane that did the biggest number on the rail services along my route. There was flash flooding and thunderstorms all through central Texas. The train started out 30 minutes late pulling into my station, then 45, then 60, then... and on it went. The most infuriating thing was that they probably could have guessed that it wasn't going to be moving anytime soon, but instead of making a realistic projection early, every 15 minutes they just kept adding 15 minutes to the ETA, as if it was surely about to start moving any minute now. When it got to around 12+ hours late, I just said screw it, cancelled my reservation, stayed another night with the people I was visiting, and then rented a car the next morning.

I started from a town just west of Forth Worth at about 0800 on Friday and drove through to Norfolk by 0700 Saturday morning--beat the train home. Because I'm crazy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker View Post
ASL, how much longer will you be stuck in Norfolk?
I was supposed to be out by May (six months ago), but apparently I'm SO crazy that they kept me around longer to evaluate whether or not I'm fit to continue serving in the reserves once I leave active duty (I'm not). So the process has been dragging on for a while and I should be getting new orders "any day now" but no one seems to really know what's going on and as an added bonus I have some serious trust issues with the Navy (so I don't put much faith in their assurances). I have so much vacation time saved up that I actually lost days at the end of the fiscal year (I have for a couple years now) and I can't/won't take more because I have to keep showing up for these stupid appointments and I'm afraid that if I'm not personally checking on things like my orders then I'll end up getting overlooked (I've had to personally manage my last two extensions, and I actually do have separation orders for November, but the trouble is those are for a non-medical separation and if I go out on those I suspect I would have a hard time getting the appropriate benefits following this "unfit" finding, which should result in some sort of medical retirement).

Oh, plus the navy's got this stupid transition assistance program to teach me how to write a resume and get into college and not pick my nose in front of strangers (it's mandatory for all separating personnel, from Seaman Recruit to Admiral, only the Admirals get an "executive" level course, which means that mere Lieutenant Commanders like me get a "seaman" level course). Anyways, it's pretty useless and I haven't been able to bring myself to go. Supposedly, they'll withhold my DD-214 if I don't, but... I just cna't bring myself ot go and sit there like an E-1 (no offense to any prior E-1s) and learn about how to write a g-damn resume and apply for college and all the other completely worthless information they put out as a check in the box so that the Navy can claim it's doing something when really it isn't.

Anyways... I'd happily leave Norfolk right now--never mind about the furniture--if I didn't have to worry about the Navy and it's administrivia, but as it stands I'm just kind of marking time until whenever. The hardest thing about leaving Norfolk is knowing I'll have to come back.

Oh, plus it's been a while since I got my last oil change. I should probably do something about that...

Last edited by ASL; 05 November 2018 at 04:14 PM.
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  #13  
Old 05 November 2018, 05:33 PM
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Esprise Me Esprise Me is offline
 
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Yesterday I witnessed the most egregious man-splaining I've ever seen in person.

I was taking my final exam for open water scuba certification along with seven other students in a local dive shop. (This is a written exam; there are also practical skills portions in the pool and the ocean.) Our instructor that day was a middle-aged woman; there was another employee of the shop in the back filling tanks when a middle-aged white guy came in. Our instructor went to help him since we were all just filling out our exams. What followed was a 1-minute conversation in which he correctly deduced that she was teaching a scuba class, then a 10-minute lecture from him about how the Frenzel maneuver is better than the Valsalva maneuver to equalize your ears when diving and she should be teaching us that. (Except he didn't seem to know those terms, or assumed she didn't, because instead of calling them by name he explained them in painstaking detail.) I didn't catch all of it because I was trying to finish my exam, but every time I tuned out, did a few more questions, and then started overhearing again, he was still going at it.

It turned out he isn't even a scuba diver himself; he's a skin diver, meaning he doesn't use any of our breathing equipment. Which, our instructor later explained to us changes things as far as which technique is optimal. The Valsalva maneuver, which new scuba divers most often use, is easy to do (hold your nose and blow) while focusing on all the other details you have to keep track of as you descend (repeatedly adjusting your buoyancy so you sink at the right speed, keeping an eye on your buddy, and most importantly, not holding your breath for even a second--which you tend to do when you're concentrating!) and it's also plenty effective for the relatively shallow depths we reach and the feet- first descent we use. The Frenzel maneuver is a bit more challenging, especially with a regulator in your mouth and while breathing continuously, but many skin divers, who descend head-first while holding their breath, find it easier and more effective. Advanced recreational scuba divers who get certified to go deeper than 60 feet usually learn it eventually too, but it's really not a priority on your first couple of dives.

So this smug bastard, who obviously knows enough about PADI to recognize a scuba class even when the instructor wasn't teaching at that moment (and knows enough to have a chip on his shoulder about the equalizing technique they teach), didn't stop to consider that an instructor is not merely a diver but someone five certification levels up from the basic here's-how-to-breathe-through-a-regulator level he hasn't even completed himself, MIGHT know something he doesn't about which technique will work for us students. Nope, what she clearly needs to round out her 30 years of experience and dual NAUI-PADI instructor certifications is some glorified snorkeler with dangly bits to tell her how it's done.

What's it like, I wonder, to walk around with that kind of unearned confidence? What keeps you from jumping off tall buildings or wandering into traffic on the strength of your own self-assurance that you know exactly what you're doing all the time? Would any of these dudes make it to middle age if the only people they had to guide them through life were women?
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  #14  
Old 05 November 2018, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Esprise Me View Post
Would any of these dudes make it to middle age if the only people they had to guide them through life were women?
IME, when the only people guiding dudes through life are women, they don't act like the glorified snorkler with dangly bits you describe.

Yesterday, I got up at 6 am to feed and walk the dog. After I fed him but before we started our walk I remembered it was fall back day, and that it was only 5 am when I got up, not 6. So after we walked and after I ate my breakfast, I went back to bed. Ferdinand did not approve of this. He tried to climb on top of me (ending up with his front half draped across my ribs), and then tried to use the power of the doggish stare to make me get up. Much to his disappointment, it didn't work.

Seaboe
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  #15  
Old 07 November 2018, 12:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thorny locust View Post
ASL's stuck in Norfolk with the Memphis blues again --
But how does it compare to being stuck in Lodi(again)?

There's a blink-and-you-miss-it town called Lodi in my area, and according to my mom, you don't want to get stuck there, either.
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  #16  
Old 07 November 2018, 12:18 AM
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Hey, while it's not as prestigious as Napa or Sonoma, Lodi is starting to become known for its wine production. So if you were stuck there you could go wine tasting, and then you would no longer care that you were stuck there.
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  #17  
Old 07 November 2018, 12:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smittykins View Post
But how does it compare to being stuck in Lodi(again)?

There's a blink-and-you-miss-it town called Lodi in my area, and according to my mom, you don't want to get stuck there, either.
I'd say the same of the Lodi in Ohio. The only reason I know it exists is because it's where I76 and I71 meet.
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  #18  
Old 07 November 2018, 02:29 AM
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I know people who live in Lodi, NY. It's full of wineries, other farms organic and conventional, gorgeous views, lakefront. Tourists go a long way to come there.

Where one doesn't want to get stuck usually has as much to do with the stuck person as with the place. Neither of them needs to actually be terrible -- they're probably just a bad fit together.
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  #19  
Old 07 November 2018, 03:02 AM
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I had no idea the one in New York was also full of wineries. I was of course talking about the one in California, the one that the song was actually about. It was probably clear probably clear from my location, but just in case it wasn't.
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  #20  
Old 07 November 2018, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WildaBeast View Post
I had no idea the one in New York was also full of wineries. I was of course talking about the one in California, the one that the song was actually about. It was probably clear probably clear from my location, but just in case it wasn't.
too much wine too much wine?

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