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  #1  
Old 12 June 2013, 06:18 AM
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Canada The Crotch Shot Revenge

A man sends a woman an unsolicited photo of his penis and she responds by contacting his mother:

Quote:
When an Internet charmer by the name of Trevor sent a young woman an unsolicited dick pic, she responded with the situational equivalent of, “Would you speak to your mother with that mouth?” That is to say: She sent their correspondence to his mom. Then she posted screen captures of their conversation on her blog
http://www.salon.com/2013/06/11/the_..._shot_revenge/

I'm torn on this. While I certainly agree that the woman in question didn't deserve the unsolicited peen pic (or the accompanying abuse), I'm not entirely convinced that the harasser's mother did either. In fact, on further consideration, I'd say it was a bad move on the woman's part in that regard. Thoughts?
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  #2  
Old 12 June 2013, 06:33 AM
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Could she have gone to the police with it? I don't know what the law is with unsolicited digital images, but he basically flashed her, and when she tried to discourage him, he taunted her. So if she had no legal recourse, I don't think I have a problem with exposing someone who exposed themselves in a clearly unwelcome manner.

If the police could have helped, though, maybe it would have been kinder for the mother if she had spared her the photo. Also, if he's the creep he appears to be, it may have been a safer recourse.
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  #3  
Old 12 June 2013, 12:52 PM
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I'm a little torn on it, too. I have no problem with her publicly shaming this jerk, and I don't feel the least bit bad for him as far as his mother concerned, but I feel bad for his mother herself for getting dragged into this. He's an adult (technically) and what he does isn't on her.
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  #4  
Old 12 June 2013, 08:26 PM
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I'm not the least bit torn. As the article states:

Quote:
Technology has empowered creeps in countless ways, but it’s also given their victims new power.
While I'm sorry Trevor's mother had to found out her son is a creep (if she didn't already know) it may be just as well that she finds out this way rather than the day a police officer shows up at the door.
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  #5  
Old 12 June 2013, 08:37 PM
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Why would police show up at her door when he is not a minor? Unless they are looking for him on a warrant or such, the police generally don't start telling family of a perpetrator about possible crimes.
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  #6  
Old 13 June 2013, 03:57 AM
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I guess I was thinking in terms of an escalating scale of creepiness. Sooner or later the Trevors of the world usually go to far.
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  #7  
Old 13 June 2013, 02:44 PM
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I understood the escalation of creepy. But even if he committed rape or murder, the cops aren't going to tell his parents. Even if they are there because they are looking for him, procedure is probably just to say they want to talk to him, not "Ma'am, your son is wanted for multiple rapes, is he home?"
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  #8  
Old 13 June 2013, 03:14 PM
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But the woman in the OP isn't the police. She's not under any obligation to follow rules. If she wants to "tattle" to someone's mom she's free to do so. Assuming that this wasn't the first incident of this nature it likely won't be the last (unless he's had the scare of his creepy little life). In my opinion she might have been doing the mother a favour.
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  #9  
Old 13 June 2013, 03:23 PM
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She's free to potentially inflict emotional damage on an innocent third person to get revenge and/or vigilante justice on someone else? Legally maybe. Morally, not so much.
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  #10  
Old 13 June 2013, 03:25 PM
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He's an adult. His mother can't control his behavior and is not responsible for it. What the heck is she supposed to do now, ground him? Take away his smartphone?

She may already have known or suspected that her son is a creep. If not, her finding out won't change his creepiness. And assuming that she did need to know he was a creep, why should she have to find out that way?
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Old 13 June 2013, 03:29 PM
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I doubt she expected mom to control sonny boy. I also doubt sonny boy would want mom, or just about anyone else he knows for that matter, to know that this is how he gets his jollies. Family and societal expectations can do a lot to control someone's behavior. Suddenly finding out you're not so anonymous after all must have been a real shock.
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  #12  
Old 13 June 2013, 03:37 PM
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So Mom's just collateral damage? I don't care for that.
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  #13  
Old 13 June 2013, 03:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue View Post
I doubt she expected mom to control sonny boy. I also doubt sonny boy would want mom, or just about anyone else he knows for that matter, to know that this is how he gets his jollies. Family and societal expectations can do a lot to control someone's behavior. Suddenly finding out you're not so anonymous after all must have been a real shock.
RIght!!!

There should be a service that takes photos of all kinds of unacceptable behavior and sends the photos to the perpetator's mother

Harass women - send a photo to the mother
Deface property - send a photo to the mother
Spit on the road - send a photo to the mother
Tube socks with shorts - send a photo to the mother
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  #14  
Old 13 June 2013, 03:52 PM
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:shrug: If you've got a better suggestion for how to deal with stalkers and creeps other than removing their cloak of anonymity I'm sure there are lots of people out there who'd appreciate hearing from you.
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  #15  
Old 13 June 2013, 04:02 PM
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The acceptability of a method is not based on the lack or deficiency of other methods.
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  #16  
Old 13 June 2013, 04:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue View Post
:shrug: If you've got a better suggestion for how to deal with stalkers and creeps other than removing their cloak of anonymity I'm sure there are lots of people out there who'd appreciate hearing from you.
False Dilemma.

There are plenty of ways to remove his anonymity without running to tell his mommy. Frankly your entire lack of concern for her feelings is grotesque.
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  #17  
Old 13 June 2013, 04:14 PM
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While I'm not defending the guy I don't think a schlong pic is high enough on the evil scale to reach the scorched earth threshold where anything you do to combat it is warrented.

The mother should not have been drug into this.

Or look at it this way. Trevor sends the girl an unsolicited dirty picture. The girl sends the same picture, equally unsolicited, to a third party that was not involved in the whole scenario. How is what she did any better?

In fact hey here's a fun idea. Let's reverse the genders make it a boyfriend, girlfriend, and a father. Not so funny now is it? Imagine the outrage if a guy forwarded a nude pic of his girlfriend to her father to get back at her.
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  #18  
Old 13 June 2013, 05:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeBentley View Post
Or look at it this way. Trevor sends the girl an unsolicited dirty picture. The girl sends the same picture, equally unsolicited, to a third party that was not involved in the whole scenario. How is what she did any better?
If we set aside the mother question for a minute, what if it hadn't been digital? What if, on a first date, he followed her alone down a hall in a restaurant, said, "hey look at this!" and whipped out his business? Should she have the right to walk out and tell someone?

I understand having compassion for the mom, but telling a victim she can't share evidence of harassment isn't right, either.

Last edited by Little Pink Pill; 13 June 2013 at 05:43 PM.
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  #19  
Old 13 June 2013, 05:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chillas View Post
False Dilemma.

There are plenty of ways to remove his anonymity without running to tell his mommy. Frankly your entire lack of concern for her feelings is grotesque.
Plenty of ways? How would you suggest removing his anonymity and it not getting back to mommy?
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  #20  
Old 13 June 2013, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue View Post
Plenty of ways? How would you suggest removing his anonymity and it not getting back to mommy?
I'd like to assume you're being obtuse on purpose for some unknown reason, but just in case you're not - there's a difference between publicizing what he did and running to his mother to tell on him.
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