snopes.com  

Go Back   snopes.com > Non-UL Chat > NFBSK Gone Wild!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 18 May 2013, 03:33 AM
Spud Sabre Spud Sabre is offline
 
Join Date: 27 October 2009
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 1,688
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tagurit View Post
I don't care what people do as consenting adults. BDSM isn't my cup of tea, it's true. I realize it has its niche. I'd rather it stay more a niche. Conventions are promoted. I'd rather not pick up one of our Entertainment rags and see it being promoted. I said in my first post, with a sigh of relief, glad it wasn't Canton MI they were talking about. That stands, for me. I'm not accusing or condemning anybody. Lord knows we have to get the most we can out of life and everyone has a different idea of what that is.

So, if you believe I'm someone who disapproves of your lifestyle, I can't change your mind. You're free to think what you want and you don't need my permission.
So you're taking the "not in my backyard!" position?
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 18 May 2013, 05:05 AM
A Turtle Named Mack's Avatar
A Turtle Named Mack A Turtle Named Mack is offline
 
Join Date: 21 June 2007
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 21,451
Default

I suspect there are a substantial number of locals who are concerned about having perverts drawn to the area where the children congregate. By many people's viewpoint, anyone who participates in most of these activities is a pervert. And some subset of people believe that a pervert in one way will be a pervert in others. Well, I suppose a person who gets off on say, spanking, is more likely to give a go at, say, bondage, so in that regard there is some validity. However, I think in pedophilia or other non-consented perversions, there is not merely a difference in degree of deviance from the 'vanilla sex' norm but a much broader gulf. Yet this might be the concern of many of those that object, that a person interested in bondage or group sex, and willing to see depictions or demonstrations would be likely to molest the children nearby.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 18 May 2013, 05:13 AM
E. Q. Taft's Avatar
E. Q. Taft E. Q. Taft is offline
 
Join Date: 30 July 2003
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 14,408
Default

My first thought when I saw the headline was that it was Canton in China. In which case I would have been surprised it got far enough along to be cancelled....
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 18 May 2013, 12:13 PM
fitz1980 fitz1980 is offline
 
Join Date: 27 May 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 4,625
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by A Turtle Named Mack View Post
Yet this might be the concern of many of those that object, that a person interested in bondage or group sex, and willing to see depictions or demonstrations would be likely to molest the children nearby.
Which is ironically totally backwards compared to the real world. My own experience in the BDSM community is that it's mostly people who would never dream of hurting a child; many are parents themselves. If you want to find a group that victimizes children I'd recommend looking at the most conservative religious organizations in the area. I'm talking about the Catholic Church scandal, Mark Foley, Eddie Long and those guys. Heck, Susan Smith's stepfather (who admitted to molesting her as a child and having consensual sex with her as an adult) was an organizer for the Christian Collation.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 18 May 2013, 03:11 PM
E. Q. Taft's Avatar
E. Q. Taft E. Q. Taft is offline
 
Join Date: 30 July 2003
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 14,408
Default

Well, fears aren't rational. We've been seeing this for years with people paranoid that gay men are more likely to be child molesters, despite there being no evidence to support this. It's one of the reasons often put forth as to why they ought not to be allowed to be Boy Scout leaders, for instance.

I can see someone who is ignorant of the subject conflating BDSM with, for instance, the Cleveland kidnappings. (Though of course others are more in the "I don't want to have to explain those weirdos to my kids" mindset.)

One thing that bothers me to some degree about BDSM is that a large majority of the good porn on the subject (at least that I've encountered) does include elements of non-consensuality: someone is forced or coerced into participating, but who generally ends up eventually loving it. Now, the community itself hammers home the "Safe, Sane, and Consensual" doctrine, and in fact I think that they take "consensual" much more seriously than the vanilla world generally does; and I think that mature consumers of the fiction are perfectly capable of making the distinction (not only in terms of consensuality, but with the 'safe' part - I know I have a lot of fantasies about things I would never agree to actually do, but which are damned exciting to think/read about). But I do sometimes worry that younger or less mature (not always the same thing) readers might get a message that the unwilling victims (particularly, but not always, women) will secretly love, or eventually come to love, being forced into various activities, regardless of how much they protest.

(Not that vanilla culture lacks for examples of the same thing - hell, it's often the main basis for romance novels.....)

Anyhow. To make it clear, I don't think that such a convention poses any threat to the community around it, and in fact is probably less likely to result in trouble than most large gatherings of adults (if only because the participants are more likely to be sober; 'playing' while intoxicated tends to be heavily frowned upon). I think the fears that it stirs up are largely based on ignorance of the community. But do they surprise me? Not really.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 18 May 2013, 05:22 PM
Singing in the Drizzle Singing in the Drizzle is offline
 
Join Date: 24 November 2005
Location: Bellingham, WA
Posts: 4,745
Default

Years ago before the internet, there was a TV program talking about sexual outlets and sex crimes. One of the things I remember them talking about is that if there is legal outlet for there sexuality (ex, porn, strip clubs, prostitutes ... ), people were much less likely that the average population with out access to commit sex crimes.

Now I have to see about finding something to back that up on the internet today.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 18 May 2013, 09:15 PM
Ellestar Ellestar is offline
 
Join Date: 31 July 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,819
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Singing in the Drizzle View Post
Years ago before the internet, there was a TV program talking about sexual outlets and sex crimes. One of the things I remember them talking about is that if there is legal outlet for there sexuality (ex, porn, strip clubs, prostitutes ... ), people were much less likely that the average population with out access to commit sex crimes.
I can't currently find the citation, but this is pretty much false. The study I can't find stated that rapists often have more consensual sex than the average person.

Sex crimes are not about someone who can't control their sexual behavior. It's about power and control over another person. In other words, person who only wants to have sex isn't going to rape someone. A person who wants to rape someone is going to rape someone.

ETA: I found the article:

Kanin, E.J. (1985). Date rapists: Differential sexual socialization and relative deprivation. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 14, 218-232.

Quoted from the abstract:

Quote:
Findings indicate that the date rapists, as a result of a hypersexual socialization process, were sexually very active, successful, and aspiring. These exaggerated aspiration levels are seen as responsible for instituting a high degree of sexual frustration. This acute relative deprivation, it is hypothesized, is a significant process responsible for precipitating these rape episodes.

Last edited by Ellestar; 18 May 2013 at 09:24 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 18 May 2013, 09:20 PM
Barbara
 
Posts: n/a
Whalephant

What Ellestar said - it's not a lack of sex that prompts a rapist to rape, it's a lack of power.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 18 May 2013, 11:19 PM
chillas's Avatar
chillas chillas is offline
 
Join Date: 09 September 2002
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 11,837
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spud Sabre View Post
So you're taking the "not in my backyard!" position?
With a little "I don't care what those people do, as long as they keep it away from me" added in.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 18 May 2013, 11:58 PM
LadyLockeout's Avatar
LadyLockeout LadyLockeout is offline
 
Join Date: 09 May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 7,178
Default

Looking at http://www.michiganbdsm.net/, I don't think that's possible, Chillas.

Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 19 May 2013, 12:10 AM
JoeBentley's Avatar
JoeBentley JoeBentley is offline
 
Join Date: 23 June 2002
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 21,796
Default

This is good news for people that have the rare "Festival Getting Cancelled" Fetish.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 19 May 2013, 12:51 AM
ganzfeld's Avatar
ganzfeld ganzfeld is offline
 
Join Date: 05 September 2005
Location: Kyoto, Japan
Posts: 23,791
Cheer

Canceling festivals is more of a hobby, really. It's not as easy as it looks! We don't get obsessed, just two practices a day, three on Sunday.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 19 May 2013, 12:55 AM
chillas's Avatar
chillas chillas is offline
 
Join Date: 09 September 2002
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 11,837
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyLockeout View Post
Looking at http://www.michiganbdsm.net/, I don't think that's possible, Chillas.
Oh, I'm not surprised in the least. There's a good one in Columbus, too, called Trauma, every year.
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 19 May 2013, 03:59 AM
tagurit's Avatar
tagurit tagurit is offline
 
Join Date: 24 March 2000
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 14,057
Default

BDSM is more societal sex. I'm a private person. I believe my sex is (was) every bit as good as anything people that belong to sex club sort of sex. I would never invite someone to view or demonstrate for anyone my sexual practices. I also believe that I'm a pervert. Again, for me to know anyone else to muse over.

So, I'm not worried about perverts, and I don't believe that anyone that has any manner of sexual orientation other than my own is going to molest children. That's preposterous.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 19 May 2013, 04:08 AM
LadyLockeout's Avatar
LadyLockeout LadyLockeout is offline
 
Join Date: 09 May 2004
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 7,178
Default

Seeing as how no one is asking you to join in these types of activities, which are all conducted with proper security and behind closed doors, then what exactly IS your problem with it? Just the fact that they're not ashamed of it?
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 19 May 2013, 09:12 AM
Illuminatus Illuminatus is offline
 
Join Date: 26 February 2004
Location: California
Posts: 1,695
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tagurit View Post
Ah, thank goodness it's not Canton, MI. Keep it in Vegas, thankyouverymuch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by E. Q. Taft View Post
My first thought when I saw the headline was that it was Canton in China. In which case I would have been surprised it got far enough along to be cancelled....
Maybe it's because I am a football fanatic, but I assumed it was Canton, Ohio
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 19 May 2013, 03:12 PM
A Turtle Named Mack's Avatar
A Turtle Named Mack A Turtle Named Mack is offline
 
Join Date: 21 June 2007
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 21,451
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tagurit View Post
BDSM is more societal sex.
Really? I had never thought of it that way. I assumed it was mostly a thing that a couple would do together.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 19 May 2013, 03:13 PM
Sue's Avatar
Sue Sue is offline
 
Join Date: 26 December 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 9,210
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyLockeout View Post
Seeing as how no one is asking you to join in these types of activities, which are all conducted with proper security and behind closed doors, then what exactly IS your problem with it? Just the fact that they're not ashamed of it?
Is it truly so unreasonable that people are going to have opinions on things that do not actually affect them? This will come as some surprise to the vast majority of the population.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 19 May 2013, 04:23 PM
BringTheNoise's Avatar
BringTheNoise BringTheNoise is offline
 
Join Date: 10 November 2003
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Posts: 7,304
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue View Post
Is it truly so unreasonable that people are going to have opinions on things that do not actually affect them? This will come as some surprise to the vast majority of the population.
Having an opinion is one thing. Being happy that people are being denied the chance to do something that they enjoy and which causes no harm is quite another.
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 19 May 2013, 05:54 PM
diddy diddy is offline
 
Join Date: 07 March 2004
Location: Plymouth, MN
Posts: 10,928
Default

I agree with BTN - people who go to these conventions aren't really worried about what other people think about them so long as they don't bother them about it in return. It's not the convention attendees fault that people find them different. It's just like gay marriage - the marriage of someone else who has a different preference in mates shouldn't matter to the rest of the world.

If I wanted to attend such a convention I wouldn't give a rip about your feelings about me and I say that you are entitled to such opinions. However your opinions need to stay on your own so long as we maintain reasonable standards (which I assume that this convention is doing). These conventioneers aren't trying to do anything expect attracting people that agree with them and want to hang out together. I have no problem with that and neither should anybody else.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dutch Orange Festival Jenn Fauxtography 13 19 March 2013 01:21 AM
Game canceled due to WWII snopes History 12 14 September 2010 12:36 AM
Chiwawa Matsuri: Japan's Penis Festival lynnejanet Inboxer Rebellion 17 29 June 2009 10:21 AM
Why was 1965 Beatles concert in Israel really canceled? snopes Entertainment 8 22 September 2008 02:59 PM
Tall Ships festival would really rather have a Buick snopes Urban Legends 0 05 May 2008 08:25 AM


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:22 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.