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  #21  
Old 12 March 2018, 03:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jusenkyo no Pikachu View Post
I should note that Victoria at the time had a different cursive system, which meant bizarre letters for b and p (Nothing however like whatever the hell passes for an uppercase cursive G in America),
Hijack: I just spent an astonishingly (to me) long time hunting for an online example of the cursive capital F which I was taught, and still use. I knew it was odd, but it's apparently become a lot odder than I thought.

The one they seem to be teaching now looks massively harder to write, though.
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  #22  
Old 12 March 2018, 03:43 PM
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With regard to moving, I think it does depend a lot on why you're moving. The only move we made that was very difficult for me we made because we had to not because we wanted to. I never liked the house or the neighbourhood we moved to, and in hindsight, that had nothing to do with the house or the neighbourhood and everything to do with where my head was at the time. It was in the land of anger and resentment. Nowhere we moved would have been a good move for me at that time.

Looking forward and being excited about change will go a long way to helping keep the homesickness at bay.
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  #23  
Old 12 March 2018, 04:00 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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I've moved before, but stayed in the county. I think the thing I will miss the most are the many friends I have here. My logical side tells me that's what Facebook is for, my friends are not going to pay my bills, and once I get settled in, I can always invite them to my new place.
DH grew up in St. Clair Shores MI (about an hour's drive from Detroit IIRC), but has lived in this area for 30 years. Like me, he has friends he will miss, but worries that we're making a bad decision/one that we might regret. I think we're both just scared--lord knows we've talked about this for some time but actually doing it is another thing.
As Thorny Locust mentioned, maybe we should look into renting.
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  #24  
Old 12 March 2018, 04:16 PM
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Renting would also make it easier to move back, or to a third place, if it turns out you don't care for the place you've picked.
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  #25  
Old 12 March 2018, 05:05 PM
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WildaBeast WildaBeast is offline
 
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I forgot to mention last night, one thing I definitely don't miss about North Carolina is the far right wing politicians. And from what I hear the state legislature has now more or less been taken over by the Tea Party, apparently due in no small part to extremely gerrymandered districts. Why is why you get the state passing things like bathroom bills. Honestly I feel like if I were to move back I wouldn't really fit in there anymore, if the state's current politics is any indication.
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  #26  
Old 12 March 2018, 05:28 PM
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I guess I am in the never had, probably never will, category*. As long as I can do my things (read, internet, cook) and have my husband, the rest can fall as it will.

When we first moved here we met a woman from Saskatchewan. The new language and the new culture didn't bother her as much as the mountains. She was so uncomfortable she had to leave.

I miss being close to the ocean, but not having hills would drive me nuts. Renting is great for figuring out which neighborhood suits you, especially if you don't know anyone there. Both my mom's cousin and my husband's cousin moved to NC to get away from the NE weather.

Adding to your set of friends (not replacing) will be difficult, but at least they speak the same language.

* One time I was at camp I panicked because I learned after I got dropped off, that camp would end on Friday, not Saturday. I thought I would be all alone. And this was the year I went with a different friend who was horribly homesick. If I had been there with my normal partner-in-crime, I would have been fine.
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  #27  
Old 12 March 2018, 07:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lainie View Post
I've never been hiking in California, but I've seen it depicted in TV shows, and I don't think I'd enjoy it as much, either. I don't even like meadow trails as well as I do forested ones.
You may have seen the hills near LA, which have good views of the city, but are almost entirely clear of trees. It's not all quite that drastic, but even in the wooded areas here, the natural trees (not the cultivated ones in populated areas) are pretty grizzled. Not nearly as lush as in temperate deciduous climates with plenty of groundwater.
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  #28  
Old 12 March 2018, 07:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Die Capacitrix View Post
When we first moved here we met a woman from Saskatchewan. The new language and the new culture didn't bother her as much as the mountains. She was so uncomfortable she had to leave.
My mom's family came to Ohio after living for many years in the hills of southeastern PA. Mom's Aunt M moved to Detroit for work, then met a farmer from the Thumb and moved up there.

About 50-60 years later, one of Aunt M's daughters, born and bred in the very flat Thumb, moved to southeastern PA with her husband. They were back in the Thumb in less than a year. He had to get his company to transfer him back, because his wife could not bear living in the hills. She felt like they were closing in on her, she said.
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  #29  
Old 12 March 2018, 09:22 PM
Bobcat Warrior Bobcat Warrior is offline
 
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I apologize in advance for the length.

I have made maybe 7 or 8 small moves, typically only a few miles. I have made 3 major moves. In the late '70's I moved from Ohio to Hawaii. Really didn't have any regrets or second thoughts about that. Then, nearly 30 years later I moved back to Ohio to marry my junior prom date.

I missed my Hawaii friends and places terribly. We kept in touch via emails and Facebook, but I still missed the places. One of my friends from Hawaii moved to Atlanta, to be close to his daughter. We keep in touch primarily through Facebook. My older daughter and her sons moved to Ohio, near me, several year ago, which was nice.

Ten years later, when both Mrs. Bobcat Warrior and myself were retired, we moved to Florida. I do not miss Ohio, even though I lived there for about 38 years, altogether. I still miss Hawaii, my friends there and the places. I email my friends, I am on Facebook with a couple of Hawaii groups. Looking forward to visiting more often now that finances are settling down.

For me Florida is quite similar to Hawaii, except more affordable, that may help me from becoming too bothered by not being in Hawaii.

I'm sorry I have not advice to offer, each person's circumstances are different, what works for one, may not work for another. I would suggest you try to embrace the change if you fight it you will lose; you may find a great experience and life where you end up. Life is what happens while you are making other plans.

BW
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  #30  
Old 12 March 2018, 10:01 PM
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I prefer hills to flatlands. The hills feel like they're closing around me comfortingly; and they help to orient me. I don't think I ever quite know where I am, in flatlands.

Full scale mountains, on the other hand, I find impressive and beautiful and great fun to visit -- but they don't feel like anyplace I ought to be living. Mountain goats, yes. Me, no.

That one may have a lot to do with where one grew up.
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  #31  
Old 12 March 2018, 10:04 PM
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For me I want to live near the ocean again. We had seriously considered moving back East when we retired but I don't know if I can do that now that we have a grandchild . I don't want to see my grandkids for a week in the summer even if I do get to live by the ocean.
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  #32  
Old 12 March 2018, 10:13 PM
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I love hills, don't care for flatlands. I grew up in NE Ohio, which is not entirely flat or hilly, but I did live down the street from a hill that was quite high for the area.

I love eastern US mountains from a distance or close up; western mountains I prefer from a distance. But my dream place to live would be in the San Juan Islands, or somewhere else on the Salish Sea that isn't Seattle (too dense, in population and in development).
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  #33  
Old 14 March 2018, 12:44 PM
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Sixteen years ago I moved to Indiana from pretty much right around the corner from you. It's been great. I've not been homesick per se, but there was some culture shock involved. You go through that whole thing where the grocery stores are different and you can't find the stuff you want and you get lost a lot, but then it gets better. Things settle down. One huge benefit to leaving was I discovered how much easier it was to live outside of DC. You didn't have to struggle everyday with just simple things like getting to work or getting groceries. My 4 mile commute to work took 5 minutes, not 45. There's just so much less stress. You don't know how exhausted you are until you leave and you just don't have to work so hard.

One story I like to tell is how after we'd been gone a few years, we came back one NYE to see friends. Stayed there in downtown Silver Spring at the Holiday Inn. Decided to have friends over to our hotel room before we went out to dinner. I hit up the Giant for some cheese and crackers and snacks. It took me right around an hour to get the mile or so and deal with the store. By contrast, I'm getting ready to go out for the morning here in Evansville and run some errands. I'll probably be gone about two hours but I'm going to hit three different stores and drive about 20 miles all together. It's a whole different world.

Make the leap. It might just be the best thing you've ever done.
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  #34  
Old 19 April 2018, 03:43 PM
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DawnStorm DawnStorm is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibbie View Post

Make the leap. It might just be the best thing you've ever done.
Well, I just spoke to a real estate office. We had a nice discussion and she'll email me some more info. I'm definitely in uncharted territory here.
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  #35  
Old 19 April 2018, 04:14 PM
Ellestar Ellestar is offline
 
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I think you're always going to be homesick for the things you like about an area. I'm homesick for Texas only in that it was really nice to be able to hang out with family members on a regular basis. I lived there the longest and that's the only thing I miss.

I lived in Chicago for 6 years during graduate school and will forever be homesick for that city during that time in my life. Even if I moved back there now, so much would be different that I'd still be homesick for 2001-2007 Chicago.

We moved around quite a bit in our recent years and maybe it's the practice, but I don't get homesick for the places we leave as much. It kind of feels like an unnecessary emotion. Why spend the energy missing what you can't have in that moment rather than spending it on finding something new and fun where you are?
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  #36  
Old 19 April 2018, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Ellestar View Post
I don't get homesick for the places we leave as much. It kind of feels like an unnecessary emotion. Why spend the energy missing what you can't have in that moment rather than spending it on finding something new and fun where you are?
I'm a bit puzzled by this.

If you, personally, don't get homesick much: some people don't, nothing wrong with that. But do you mean that you think that makes it an unnecessary emotion for those who do?

You could say the same thing about any sort of grief. Why spend energy missing a person who you can never see again?
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  #37  
Old 19 April 2018, 06:32 PM
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Seaboe Muffinchucker Seaboe Muffinchucker is offline
 
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Originally Posted by Ellestar View Post
Why spend the energy missing what you can't have in that moment rather than spending it on finding something new and fun where you are?
Some of us may not want to spend energy on an emotion, but have not found a viable way to avoid it.

Seaboe
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  #38  
Old 19 April 2018, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Ellestar View Post
Even if I moved back there now, so much would be different that I'd still be homesick for 2001-2007 Chicago.
This is the biggest part for me. Even if I do get to missing a place, I am really missing the time and the people. I think of where I lived in California every now and then, and everybody I knew then is gone. The time is...well, past.
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  #39  
Old 19 April 2018, 08:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker View Post
Some of us may not want to spend energy on an emotion, but have not found a viable way to avoid it.
Step 1 is to do a cost benefit analysis, and create a spreadsheet that quantifies how adaptive each emotion is in one column, with the estimated energy costs in column B. You may need a weighted geometric mean to combine the benefits in different situations, according to what percentage of your schedule you spend in those situations each day.

Then you just just stop having any emotion that's not mathematically to your benefit. It's really simple.
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  #40  
Old 20 April 2018, 01:54 PM
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Originally Posted by dfresh View Post
Even if I do get to missing a place, I am really missing the time and the people.
That is, I expect, what some people mean by homesickness; and is likely a component of it for most or all who have it.

But for some, there's an additional thing going on, and it actually is the place being missed. Let me try putting it this way: For some of us, a particular house or hillside is one of the people. And not a peripheral one, but a central person.
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